Jersey Shore: Toilet Humor

Last night saw the return of a wretched character that seems to have haunted “Jersey Shore” and dominated the narrative for the better part of this season.

That disgusting toilet!

It feels like that toilet has been clogged for six months, but last night the cast finally decided to get proactive (after an ill-fated attempt led by Ronnie) and called a plumber to vanquish that appalling beast. Well, they called Danny the Landlord/Boss, and HE called a plumber, but still…

Two brave souls appeared —Snooki was crushing on one of them, naturally — and unclogged the drain. Turns out one of the guys had tried to flush a wife-beater down the toilet. Not one of the guys would cop to flushing the shirt (I believe Ronnie had the phrase “Deny, Deny, Deny” copyrighted in Miami), but the girls seemed to think it was Vinny, since the shirt is apparently the same style he favors. Me? I think Vinny was framed! Oh wait, no I don’t because I don’t really care about the toilet, and now I’m happy that we don’t have to talk about it anymore.

Oh yeah, Sam’s back in the house too (and Deena was “hecstatic” to see her), which is where last night’s episode picked up. Ronnie initially reacted as awkwardly as you’d expect from someone who just saw their ex for the first time (and someone who’s an idiot). Sammi told him he looked pale (zing) and he responded that it was because he’d just seen a ghost and awkwardly laughed. No one else laughed with him.

The group went to the most aptly-named club in the world (Karma) to celebrate Sammi’s return. Sammi was trying to do her single lady thing, but Ronnie kept following her around like a lost puppy, according to Snooki. (And according to the video evidence.)

To be honest, I didn’t even remember was Sammi was like on her own and separate from being one hellacious half of the Ronnie/Sammie Magical Misery Tour. It turns out she’s kind of cool. She firmly rebuffed Ronnie’s advances and instead focused her energy on helping Snooki deal with her “heartbreak.”

I’m not going to spend too much time on this because I’ve covered this before. It’s very simple: Vinny is just NOT into Snooki. (Well, except for that one time that “Moby Dick” was IN Snooki.) Of course, it would help if he stopped saying things like “I love you” (though it’s obviously in a playful/friendly way), but Snooki appears to be the only person who can’t see that Vinny just doesn’t have any feelings for her in “that” way.

I have a feeling that deep down Snooki knows this too and that the fact that she was pretty drop-dead drunk is mostly what led her to bust into Vinny’s room while he was “getting it in” with a Dominican girl. (Pauly, in an adjacent bed, didn’t seem perturbed by the barge-in. Meanwhile, Ronnie scooped her out before things got worse.) I’m guessing the drunkenness is also what led to Snooki’s subsequent crying. In fact, Snooki was pretty much playing the role of Sammi in this episode by cocooning herself in her bed.

Snooki perked up when her and the rest of Team Sober (Ronnie and Sammi) decided to revenge-prank The Situation after his taxi gag last week. They seemingly took every cheese in the house and spread it underneath his pillow.

When Mike returned with his 21 year old (he’d creepily made her show him some ID at the club) that night, he smelled the cheese and kicked her out of the house. J-Woww and the rest of the cast convinced him that the girl had an STD and the final few minutes of the episode because a sort of weird, not-at-all effective sex-ed PSA.

So what’d you think of this episode? What will J-Woww pee behind next? Was there any chance at all that Deena was going to be a decent driver? (Pauly spilled all the coffee he wasn’t drinking!) Is there any way Snooki came up with that “Moby Dick” line on her own? Finally, are you FULLY gay? (Awesome!)