Dancing with the Stars: 'Cheers' and Jeers

Maybe it’s just me, but it sort of feels like the newest season of “Dancing with the Stars” snuck up on us.

Part of the reason for the relatively low-key launch of the show’s 12th season is certainly its sheer lack of Palin, but I was happy to have the show back all the same.

During the premiere, I only counted two dancers who were actively horrendous, but, more importantly, I counted ZERO people who didn’t seem like they wanted to be there. As DWTS watchers, we don’t demand that you become a phenomenal dancer. We just want you to embrace the silliness and entertain us.

It’s like my favorite Adam Sandler movie says: “Just Go With It.”

Here are my rambling thoughts on how the 11 competitors did with the cha cha cha and foxtrot, in order of appearance.

Chelsea Kane and Mark: Congratulations to Chelsea, who was inducted into the Monique Coleman/Kyle Massey “I Had No Idea Who This Person Was Before DWTS Because I’m Over 12 Years Old, But I Don’t Have Kids.” The impression I got besides her generally being Kate Hudson’s mini-me is that she’s an energetic dancer who is well matched with Mark and has the potential to go far. Her foxtrot had good moves, even if they weren’t as smooth as required. Even though, she’s in her 20’s that “afterglow” comment from Bruno was still creepy.

Wendy Williams and Tony: Why does poor Tony get the emotional wrecks? It’s time to bust out all those “Free Tony” shirts you printed when he was stuck with Kate Gosselin. Wendy gingerly tip toeing through her cha cha cha was my biggest disappointment of the evening. I’m not saying she needs to be a great dancer; I’m saying that I at least want some ridiculousness on the dance floor that can match the absurdity of her boobs!

Hines Ward and Kym Johnson: I don’t know why I was surprised that Hines’ cha cha cha was so good since football players have done really well in this competition…yet I was pleasantly surprised. His solo work was pretty goofy and awkward, but I think he did the best partnering work out of any male celebrity. It was actually believable that he was LEADING his pro partner. Just as importantly, he was all smiles, even when Brooke inexplicably brought up his recent Super Bowl loss during their interview.

Petra Nemcova and Dmitry: Dmitry just got it out of the way quickly when he commented that his first thought was how hot she was. Petra — who has a passing resemblance to Edyta Sliwinska — had some pretty lines and good command of her arms (though she could finish her moves better). The main problem was that the routine was too basic, and her footwork was pretty messy. That being said, I think the 2004 tsunami survivor — who sweetly dedicated her performance to the victims of the most recent Japanese earthquake/tsunami even though I guarantee you they don’t care about her foxtrot — will be around for a few weeks. I like her attitude: based on that smiley photo, I’ve never seen someone happier to have a shattered pelvis.

Romeo and Chelsie: During his cha cha cha, Romeo showed that he’s natural performer with strong charisma on the dance floor. I’m also hoping the show got most of its Master P jokes out of the way this week. (Yikes, I’d forgotten that he’d gotten 2s!) My main problem is that Romeo seemed like a pain in the rehearsal. He’s the one contestant who doesn’t seem totally onboard with this show yet. If you’re afraid of not looking “cool” or coming off as too feminine, you probably shouldn’t have signed up for this show. TWICE!

Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna: Since Anna’s calling him “Ray”, and Bruno (in midseason form last night) is calling him “Sugar”, I suppose I’ll just call him “Leonard.” Like most of the guys last night, Leonard had terrible posture. Though he was surprisingly good when dancing on his own, he was pretty horrible when he tried to partner. (It’s usually the other way around.) The good news is that his performance level was very high and he’s a charmer. I’d probably advise him to no cry during future DWTS rehearsals.

Kendra Wilkinson and Louis: Her cha cha cha performance was pretty rough (especially since Louis gave her a pretty challenging routine), but she’s definitely not an unsalvageable train wreck. More importantly, I was REALLY surprised by her enthusiasm, which is unusual for these reality show robots. (see: Kim Kardashian, Kate Gosselin.) Still, most of the fun was had before — Louis suggested she become a stripper, and Kendra admitted she’d already done that — and after — Hugh Hefner sitting with her husband Hank Baskett…awk-ward — the dance.

Ralph Macchio and Karina: The Karate Man (no 49 year old should ever be referred to as a “Kid”) foxtrotted away with the highest score of the night and the title as season 12 frontrunner. The thing no one’s talking about is that parts of it (featuring his “creepy hand”) were pretty sloppy, but Ralph performed this dance in such a loose, joyous way that it didn’t matter. He reminded me of Edward Norton in “Everyone Says I Love You.” (The 30 people who’ve seen that movie know what I’m talking about.)

Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke: Full disclosure: Jericho broke in and broke out with the WWE when I was completely into wrestling, so I’m a fan. This premiere episode didn’t give him the chance to fully show the charisma I know he has, but he proved to be a pretty competent dancer with potential. In fact, I think his routine was too easy. I know you want to ease these people into the show, but he spent most of his time standing and posing while Cheryl danced around him. (His big moment was when he ripped his sleeves off…and he kind of blew that.) I feel like he can do more, and once Cheryl finds his neck, the sky is the limit. (Well, 5th or 6th place is the limit.)

“Psycho” Mike Catherwood and Lacey: It’s a good thing he had some really funny one liners (I liked the joke about making up for his lack of dancing skills by being the least well known person in the cast), but he was tagged with the lowest score of the night. That being said, I’m happy Carrie Ann kinda stuck up for him because it’s not like he didn’t try, and I think he has a decent sense of rhythm. His main problem is that he has absolutely no dancing skills whatsoever. Oh well.

Kirstie Alley and Maksim (pictured, left): Was there any way this episode wasn’t going to end with the star of “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” and self-professed “Dancing with the Stars ho”? Fortunately, the 60-year-old(?!) actress actually delivered the goods. She DID have really good foot placement as the judges pointed out (Maks fist pumped this achievement), and she moved around the floor a lot better than I expected. (Wendy Williams should be ashamed for not bringing it like this!) I actually think Kirstie can eventually do more on the dance floor and improve — if she and Maksim don’t playfully kill each other first.

So what’d you think of this episode? What color should Lacey’s hair be? (I’m asking because she can’t seem to decide.) What do you think of the new cast? Finally, seriously…what WAS that thing on Brooke Burke’s dress?!