It feels like most of this cycle has been dedicated to getting us to hate Alexandria as much as the other girls seem to hate Alexandria.
Last night, all of a sudden, Monique is the worst person in the house and maybe Alexandria isn’t that bad and…whoops, never mind Monique is gone. I’m guessing the focus next week will go back to how horrible Alexandria is, but you never know.
Tell me how I’m supposed to feel, reality show editors!
As the girls returned home from the previous week’s panel, Tyra was at the house to greet them. I’m guessing Tyra made them walk home again, which would explain how she got there first, and how she had her little presentation set up. The day’s lesson was about model archetypes — like “androgynous”, “girl next door” and “couture” — and how each of the contestants fit into them. We learned that most of this season’s girls are bombshells (even Mikaela? Really?!) and that the only one who could be considered “couture” is Brittani, which probably/inadvertently made her the favorite to win.
Tyra also exorcised Molly’s weave (hallelujah!) and talked to the models about how to handle fan adoration, which led into the week’s challenge.
Ms. J judged a competition that judged how the contestants would handle fans at a meet-and-greet. This contest was hilariously crazy on that fundamental “Top Model” level. Obviously, none of these “fans” knew who the girls were (since this was probably filmed before the cycle began airing on TV), but it was still fun watching them pretend.
The “highlight” was a semi-creepy guy named James, who looked and acted like a slightly younger version of Toby from “The Office.” First he chatted with Monique — by far, the least friendly model there — before being pawned off an Alexandria after Monique told him that Alexandria was likely to kiss him. Of course, it didn’t help matters that Alexandria DID give him a peck on the cheek.
I would’ve enjoyed this segment a lot more if I weren’t convinced that “James” was an actor/plant, but whatever. The extremely personable Kasia won and got to bring along Jaclyn and Brittani to an allegedly fancy dinner with Ms. J. Meanwhile, the rest of the girls had to clean up the meet-and-greet area (how “Hell’s Kitchen” of them) and sit home and munch on sour grapes.
The week’s photo shoot took full advantage of the fact that there are eight white chicks left in the competition. Lo and behold, four are blondes and four are brunettes, so they were pitted against each other in a group photo shoot.
Even though it wasn’t terribly ambitious, I actually liked the blonde’s photo a little more because it was more cohesive. The brunette shot may have been more editorial, but it REALLY looked like everyone was just doing their own thing, and some people looked plain uncomfortable.
Even though two brunettes (Monique and Mikaela) wound up in the bottom two, the dark-haired beauties were told they had the best shot, and Brittani’s fierce face was awarded top photo honors, despite the fact that Tyra pointed out her “amputee leg” pose. (Holy mixed messages, Batman!)
Personally, I thought the blondes should’ve won because Molly and Hannah had the best pictures in the bunch. Once again, I thought the judges heaped too much praise to Kasia’s photo, and, well ok…Alexandria’s hunched pose was weird.
It came down to Mikaela’s strong bone structure vs. Monique’s “I’m too sexy for this competition” quality, and Mikaela stayed on. I don’t completely disagree with the decision, but as a viewer of this show I’m a little bummed because Monique was a more interesting character. She was fascinatingly dumb.
Oh well. Goodbye, Monique. Good luck in your future endeavors, though I’m guessing it’s going to be tough. Is there really a high demand for a bitchier-looking Olivia Munn?
So what’d you think of this episode? Are you able to hang on to the handlebars of fierceness without wearing riding gloves? Finally, if you saw Tyra on the street, what message would you make her record on your outgoing voicemail? (I’m not sure, but it’d probably involve that terrible French accent she brings out every once in a while.)
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