American Idol: Ushering in a New Era

This is not going to be easy.

Coming into Tuesday night’s performance episode — which featured the male half of the top 24 singing for our votes for the first time this season — I suspected that the guys would have a much harder time standing out because there generally seemed to be stronger, more distinctive voices on that side of the competition.

I was sort of right.

I count only three singers that I would bet my life on advancing to the finals (if we lived in a world where people were killed for getting “Idol” predictions wrong), three singers who I hope didn’t bother to unpack all their stuff and SIX singers who I can feasibly see joining the Sure Things in the finals.

(If you’re scoring at home, that’s nine out of 12 singers who can realistically lay claim to a stake in the finals.)

Let’s get the hopeless fools out of the way first.

Even writing the phrase “hopeless fools” immediately brings to mind Jordan Dorsey (pictured, right), and his stunningly misguided decision to sing Usher’s “OMG.” This was so bad I don’t even know where to start. “OMG” is in no way designed to show off a singer’s voice. Jordan made no changes to radically alter the song and opted to perform it as a pale imitation of Usher. Finally, there’s the fact that even USHER doesn’t sound good singing this song! (Why do you think he always tries to distract us with awesome dancing and lasers?)

Other than that, I really liked it. (Seriously though, I DID like the fact that he at least dared to take on something current…did we need to hear “Superstition” again?)

Jordan’s only hope is that his fans will save him. The only problem is that his douchelord behavior during Hollywood Week pretty much alienated any fans he could have gained. Oh well.

I’m putting Jovany Barreto and Tim Halperin alongside Jordan in the bye-bye pile. I feel more confident about Jovany going home after a pretty, but completely safe and forgettable rendition of “I’ll Be.” I’m not as sure that Tim is done. He SHOULD be, given that he squandered whatever momentum he gained during his Beatles duet with Julie Zorilla by singing Rob Thomas “Streetcorner Symphony (Come on Over)”, which ended up being the musical equivalent of a flat-line. Still, the producers and the judges really seem to like him. I still say he’s done because I have a hard time imagining that his bland performance inspired anyone other than a direct relative (or someone who likes nice eyes) to vote for him.

Then there are the sure things, Scotty McCreery, Jacob Lusk and Casey Abrams.

At this point, Casey Abrams seems like a shoo-in for the top 3 even if I have no idea what kind of music he’d release as a contemporary artist in 2011. His version of “I Put a Spell On You” was bizarre, intense, and more than a little crazy. In other words I loved it. Unlike a lot of contestants last night, Casey moved around the stage like a natural. My favorite thing about him is that the fact that he has a pretty great voice is, like, the third or fourth thing you notice about him.

Many of the things I said in the previous paragraph could be applied to Jacob Lusk, except that I just don’t like him. (I admit…it’s personal.) Jacob once again displayed remarkable control and power in his voice that was surpassed only by his dramatic side-glances during his take on “A House is Not a Home.” He’s got a terrific shot of being an incredibly successful lite FM artist in the early 90’s.

My favorite performer of the night (along with Casey) was actually Scott “Baby Lock Them Doors and Turn Them Lights Down Low” McCreery. I don’t know what a John Michael Montgomery is, but I thought Scott’s version of “Letters From Home” fit him like a glove, and that comfort translated favorable to his performance. Erica Colon (my gf) called it, “The most professional performance last night.”

I’m tempted to put Brett Loewenstern — who may have had the LEAST professional performance of the night — with the sure things because he seems like someone the fans would really connect with. I’ll even admit that I actually enjoyed watching him sing “Light My Fire”, even if it was completely wrong for him. Less enjoyable was watching the unintentionally intentional dramatic hair flips and the way he robotically stalked the stage like he was desperately trying to hit his marks.

So if I have Casey, Jacob, Scotty and Brett getting four of the five (pre-wild card) slots, that leaves five guys battling for one position.

Will it be James Durbin, who brought Judas Priest to the “Idol” stage and, for the second consecutive time, actually displayed fantastic control over that potentially annoying instrument of his (just like Jacob)? I like that James did what he does, even if jumping around and rocking out on the Idol stage like it’s 1982 won’t ever get you the “Idol” crown (or people to take you seriously). I just wish he didn’t look like such a giant, f---ing poser. (Last night, we found out he wears the tail to stand out — because being Asperger’s/Tourette’s guy isn’t enough.)

Will it be Clint Jun Gamboa, who had the double whammy misfortune of 1.) performing first and 2.) singing a song that’s been done to death on this show (and everywhere else) in “Superstition”? If I’m so down on him, then why do I have him in the maybe pile? Well, it’s because, objectively, he’s got one of the five strongest voices in this bunch. (And maybe in the whole competition.) I also don’t want to underestimate the number of people out there who like plastic glasses.

Will it be Robbie Rosen or Paul McDonald? Robbie sang Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel”, and for some reason Jennifer Lopez told him that he made better choices with the melody. (I didn’t even realize what he was singing until he got to the “chorus.”) Meanwhile, Paul took on Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May” in a groovy, confident performance that seemed to be as much about entertaining Paul as it was for the audience. The bad news is that Robbie and Paul might not get enough votes to advance. The good news is that I believe the judges would definitely pick them as wild cards.

That leaves Stefano Langone (?!) as my final choice to garner enough viewer votes. Even though we saw J.Lo hilariously wince during one of his high notes, he did a more than passable Bruno Mars impersonation that showed off his strong voice. He’s also likable, and he’s being framed as an underdog.

So what’d you think of this episode? Was it just my TV or were all the guys getting a little drowned out by the music? (Could’ve been the snazzy new stage setup, I suppose.) What was up with the tiny collars on J.Lo’s dress? Finally, which of these five guys do you see getting voted through to the finals? (And would you be shocked if the judges use all three of their wild card slots for guys?)