Lost: Vows and Constants

So last week I wrote about how the fourth season of "Lost" (which I'm really digging so far) had been severely underusing Elizabeth Mitchell's Juliet. I could've said the same thing about Henry Ian Cusick's Desmond.

I understand that this is mostly the result of the series incorporating four significant new characters, but I still thought it was a shame because whenever those two are given anything to do, they absolutely shine. Well last night, half the problem was solved.

"The Constant" was one of those potentially infuriating episodes that only focus on a small number of castaways. Actually, although Jack, Juliet, and Sayid were in it, you could really say this was the Desmond show.

As with last season's "Flashes Before Your Eyes" (the episode that was basically an extended flashback), "The Constant" again used an unorthodox flashback technique in presenting Desmond's story. The fact that they've done this with the Desmond character twice really makes me think that he, and his relationship with Penny and her father's ties to Island, may turn out to be the most significant player on the Island.

As he flew in Frank's helicopter with Sayid toward the freighter (which turned out to be a lot less impressive than I expected) the trio hit a storm, during which Desmond seemed to lose his present-day Island consciousness, which was replaced by his 1996-self, when he was still in the military. Faraday eventually explained that Desmond's previous exposure to radiation or electromagnetism (obviously the latter) was responsible for his condition.

Of course, that left him completely disoriented and with no recollection of who anyone on the Island was, and he spent the entire hour toggling back and forth between his harsh military days (when are we going to see a nurturing supportive drill sergeant on screen?) and his unfamiliar freighter adventure.

Sayid traded his gun for a phone (kinda like the gun for walkie talkie trade in the new E.T. release) so that he could call Jack to let him know that he was safe, and so that Faraday could help Desmond. The physicist who won't be pigeonholed told Desmond to take a train to Oxford and find his 1996 self, and this is where my favorite scenes of the evening took place.

I loved the way Desmond's shifts in consciousness were portrayed (nice work, writers and editors). I can't be the only one who laughed when he went back to the future in the middle of running down a flight of stairs, resulting in a nasty fall (Daniel DID tell him to be careful crossing the street)

Also, Faraday's skeezily long, mid-90's, collegiate long hair was worth a laugh on its own. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm REALLY liking Jeremy Davies' performance as Faraday, and he seemed to enjoy playing his past, more pompous self. After Desmond gave him the secret code to set the "device" to 2.342 (NUMBERS alert!), and told him that he knew about Eloise, Faraday revealed that he's been working on a form of time traveling since his Oxford days.

More specifically he was transporting his lab rat Eloise's consciousness forward and bringing her back with the knowledge of the future. He told Desmond to find a constant, something in his 1996 consciousness that he could reference whenever he went back to 2004. Of course, being the big 'ol romantic he is, he chose Penny, leading to the episode's more touching scene.

He went to her house (the on her building was, NUMBERS alert, 423) and begged her for her phone number, vowing to call her eight years from now (in the Island's 2004 "present-day" timeline). And how absolutely sweet and touching was it when he called her phone and she answered (thanks to Island MVP Sayid, who'd made a makeshift/temporary phone). The two had not gotten to talk when Charlie made contact with Penelope, so I was glad that they were, not only able to make contact, but each other "I love you" (plus, it's always good to see "Tell Me You Love Me"'s Sonja Walger).

I mean think about it. We've seen these two together in, maybe three or four episodes together (and we especially haven't seen THAT much of Penny), yet I buy into their love a lot more than I buy into something like Jack/Kate. Go figures.

Meanwhile, during his time on the freighter's sick bay, Desmond met someone suffering the same fate has he, and it turned out to be the man known as Minkowski (Fisher Stevens), who we'd heard on the phone a few times during the past couple of episodes, before the castaways stopped being able to reach the freighter by phone. Minkowski, who'd tried to get close to the Island with someone named Brandon (probably resulting in his present, time-traveling condition), told Sayid and Desmond that someone had destroyed the ship's communication system (Michael's spy?)

We didn't get to learn more because Minkowski made like Eloise and suffered a brain aneurism. Goodbye, Fisher Stevens. I liked "Short Circuit", so it was good to see you again, even if you were a complete paranoid weirdo in this role.

In the end, the not-so-shocking twist was that Faraday had written in his journal that, if something goes wrong, that Desmond would be his constant.

Overall, despite not seeing many of my favorites, I REALLY liked this episode, and am constantly amazed at what the writers of this show come up with.

So what'd you think of this episode? Has Daniel Faraday been to the Island before? (Seems like the answer is "yes", and maybe that explains his emotional response to the crash.) Why was Jeff Fahey (Frank), listed as a guest star, while his other three freighter friends were listed as series regulars? (And what's with his vaguely racist comments to Sayid?) Why was Penny's dad so intent on buying the Black Rock's ledger? Finally, how do you like your Desmond: short hair and clean shaven (military style) or Island chic (long-hair and beard)?

America's Next Top Recap: Gone in a New York Minute

Well so much for the big twist last week of Tyra bringing 14 girls to New York City instead of 13.

Two aspiring models didn't make it past the first episode of the season after it turned out that one of them wasn't an aspiring model at all. More on that later.

After silly/hyper Amy announced that she would heretofore be known as Amis (to not confuse Tyra), we got a healthy amount of footage of the girls fawning over their stylish New York digs. I guess we'll have to wait until next week for the girls to fight over the bunk beds and avoid having to share the one huge bed.

Other than the quote from cycle 1's Robin, "if you stand for nothing, you will fall for everything" (I'm pretty sure she wasn't the first one that said that), the other highlight of the house was a no smoking sign. Atalya complained about a few of the girls going outside to smoke. Meanwhile, I wondered "who the hell cares?"

Since this was the big return to New York, there was no way they wouldn't go to Times Square. That was the sight of the week's challenge, a Badgley Mischka Runway Show. Since all the runway training these girls have apparently been exposed to is a few minutes with Ms. J at Top Model prep, I was expecting most of the girls to struggle. They didn't really disappoint, although Marvita (looking at the ground the entire time), as well as Lauren and Amis (back-to-back) awfulness, were particularly bad. On the other hand, Dominique seemed confident, as did Whitney and Claire.

After an entire episode of not fighting, Marvita and Fatima got in each other's face after Marvita was accidentally hit in the face by Fatima following the runway show. I'm the kind of person who apologizes to someone even if they bump into me, so it would've been nice for Fatima to acknowledge the run-in, even if it wasn't anything more than a graze. By the end of the episode, these two had made up after Marvita shared her experience of being raped and molested (I think Marvita shares too much!), but it's not going to take much to get the self-described stray dog riled up again.

Shortly after the fashion show, the girls met with the season's new addition, Paulina Porizkova, who didn't waste any time , nor mince any words, when assessing the girls. She deemed Kim too "High School Musical", and told Dominique than she looked like a tranny. Although her critiques were right on, my girl Erica brought up the fact that it would've been nice if Paulina had given Dominique tips on how to not look like a tranny, but she DID give Marvita advice on relaxing her mouth during panel. Also, Sutan the photographer made a genuine funny when consoling Dominique ("people confuse me with a man too.")

While this week's photo shoot seemed silly at first glance, it...well, it still ended up being pretty damn silly. It's cool that the Reciprocity Foundation helps creative homeless youths get into college, but that didn't mean that I couldn't laugh at the unintentional comedy that resulted from the girls trying to "act" homeless. It was like a real-life version of the "Derelicte" fashion line from "Zoolander." Bonus points for giving Tyra the opportunity to plug her own talk show's homeless episode.

The photo shoot wasn't terribly exciting. I'm basing this on the fact that I don't remember too much about it. Of course, I could just have a bad memory. I remember most of the girls standing around with awkward body language and the same somber expression on their faces ("I didn't want to smile if I was homeless.")

During panel, Ms. J unveiled a new jacket with each of the girls' names which I 100% prefer over last year's ever-growing afro. Also, Nigel seemed a little taken aback when he was immediately challenged by Paulina (who'd tried to make a pimp surprise entrance, but ended up weirdly emerging from behind the contestants). I don't think Nigel's been exposed to any back-sass from that seat in four seasons, er, cycles.

My favorites from the photo shoot were Whitney, Aimee, Fatima (who got lucky with a good shot) and Anya. My least favorites were Amis ("inexperienced model looking up at the light" – Paulina), Atalya (painfully average), and Allison (just weird).

Each girl's assessment was humming along at a decent pace when Kim (pictured, left) dropped the bombshell. She just wasn't into high fashion. I loved that the judges all had a collective stroke when she said this (they obviously edited out the part where the paramedics revived Ms. J). We saw hints of this during the runway show, where she complained about having to model in incredibly expensive clothes. Of course, she apparently showed lots of promise and had one of the week's best photos.

It makes me suspect that the producers had some idea something like this might happen, but decided to bring her along anyway so they could manufacture two reality show shockers ("we're bringing an extra girl", "we're having a double elimination") in one. I mean, think about it: the big to-do after picking the extra girl was basically nullified in one week. Oh well. The show's now in its tenth cycle, so I'm not going to get too mad at it for at least trying to surprise us.

As I mentioned, Tyra decided to get rid of Atalya too for good measure. I'd love to mount a big defense about how she should've been given another chance, but I honestly don't remember anything about her…ther than the fact that she hates smokers.

So what'd you think of this episode? After run-ins with Marvita and Amis, is there any girl that Fatima won't have picked a fight with before the end of the show (Unfortunately, Atalya and Kim weren't around long enough to get in a disagreement with her). Is it possible that Whitney could finally be the plus size model to win this whole thing? (Who's better than her right now?) What's with the electronic Tyra Mail? Finally, what'd you think of Paulina as the new judge? (Here's a hint about how I felt: I LOVED her!)

Project Runway Rundown: Hair Dresser

Well last night's "Project Runway" semi-finale was more entertaining than I thought it was going to be.

The semi-finales are inherently drama free because all we basically see is Tim Gunn visiting the contestants at home and not too much, if any, catty interaction between the designers.

Unlike last year's ripoff of a semi-finale, (where the big cliffhanger was Laura accusing Jeffrey of possibility cheating — only he wasn't! Ohh, exciting!) this episode had real stakes as Rami and Chris were battling to get into the finals.

At least the editors REALLY wanted to look like it was a battle.

I can't be the only who had the not-so sneaking suspicion that the producers wanted the more respectable (he grew up in Jerusale, you know) and refined Rami to land in the top 3 and not the outlandish Chris. I felt that way ever since they created the fourth slot for Rami in the art challenge two weeks ago. Since Chris's outfit clearly wasn't worse than Rami's then, they had to manufacture a final spot for Rami.

Chris didn't really do himself any favors by creeping everybody out and using human hair on his signature piece. As usual, Tim Gunn was absolutely priceless, saying that his gag reflex had been activated, and likening Chris's work to a monkey house at the zoo, which starts smelling not so bad if you've been it in a while, but reeks if you've just walked in. The man is a poet.

Of course, his first visit in this loaded episode (thank god they skipped the pointless model elimination) was to Christian's "tiny" New York apartment. Sure, his work space/sleeping area was cramped, but I'd swap apartments with him (I spotted hardwood floors) in a heartbeat. Also, he's tiny, what does HE need all the room for? Tim Gunn fawned over a few of his pieces in his "romantic Gothic" line, but felt the feather pants were questionable (how dare he?!) To his credit, Christian seemed more humble as he absorbed the criticism and really seemed to consider it. Early-season Christian would've nodded while Tim was there, then say he was going to do whatever the hell he wanted to the camera.

Up next was a stop by Jillian, who aims to become the next great designer from Long Island. She had one awesome looking jacket, but the rest of the line seemed too monochromatic and not all that impressive. We didn't get to see too much of it, because she took Tim to meet her surprisingly sweet and genial family in Long Island (they must not be on the depressants Jillian takes 24/7). I loved her dad's "My Daughter is on Project Runway" trucker hat.

That was followed by a visit to Rami, who was hanging out with a dude I thought may have been his boyfriend (I kinda spaced out once he started reminiscing about his childhood yet again). Anyway, his line was the surprise of the evening by far, as there was nary a draped gown in sight. Like Jillian (weird), his inspiration was 15th Century Armor and, the best criticism Tim seemed to be able to come up with was that one jacket was really heavy (who cares?)

The final visit was the aforementioned stop by Tim to Chris' monkey house. What I don't understand is why, when finally given a real budget ($8,000), and time (five weeks) would he use human hair. That's not "beauty with a quirk", which was his theme. That's "beauty with an ew."

The designers reconvened in NYC (well, Rami flew back from L.A.) and they seemed chummier than any other final four I can remember. I especially enjoy the way Jillian and Christian tease each other.

Those two were put to work in preparation for Rami and Chris' semi-finale runway show, where they would display three looks. At first, I didn't realize it, but my girl Erica astutely pointed out that this is kind of unfair, since Jillian and Christian were essentially helping someone they'd be competing with. Also, the winner of the semi-finale will have already shown three of their 12 pieces to the judges, which you would think would put them at a disadvantage.

After a minor-meltdown over time, Rami recovered and (staying with the team of being different) selected three distinct looks for his show, while Chris chose to pick three similar looks (all black). Loved Christian's question as to whether he should brush Chris' dress.

Like the editors, the judges seemed to strain for negative comments to make about Rami's line and positive things to say about Chris's (they apparently liked the paper clips) to make the inevitable outcome more suspenseful. Either way, they seemed generally underwhelmed by both designers and accused them over designed and too dark. Michael Kors had the line of the night, describing a tight-fitting dress by Chris as a "velvet condom."

In the end, the judges couldn't help but reward Rami for stepping outside his comfort zone and delivering a good collection. He deserved to win.

Don't feel too bad for Chris either. He (along with Sweet P.) still got to show their collection at Bryant Park. Not bad for a guy who was eliminated about two months ago and apparently walks around in a gigantic Cruella DeVille costume.

So what'd you think of this episode? Did you ever doubt Rami would win? What Disney villain would you like to dress up as? Finally, I asked before, but I'll as again — is there any way Christian doesn't win this whole thing?

American Idol: 70's Weak Continues

Last night, the ladies did their best impression of the guys when an unusually large number of them turned in mostly underwhelming versions of classic songs.

But I still liked them a lot better than the "men". (I use the quotation marks because I don't 100% believe that Danny Noriega is actually a man.)

Last night's episode got off to a promising start with Carly Smithson finally delivering a performance worthy of all the hype (Simon's words from last week) she's received up to this point. Everything about her last night was right on. She sounded great, the performance was entertaining, and her interview package — tending bar back home — was endearing. Also, I like her pleasant Irish accent — she should use that more.

I also really liked the following performance, though apparently I'm the only one since the judges panned Syesha Mercado's gender-bending take on "Me and Mrs. Jones." The part-time commercial actress (I don't mean mainstream, I mean she actually acts in commercials) turned in a lovely vocal and an engaging performance. Sure she could've really cut loose and belted in some parts, but she's been yelling ever since she got on the show. I liked seeing her show restraint. I also don't care nearly as much as Simon that she changed the words around to the song. It's ok with me for a woman to sing a song "intended" for a man, and vice versa. I mean, I'd rather she do that than sing it the way it's intended and have millions of people snickering at home and saying "haha, she's gay."

The other standout performance of the evening was from the ever endearing Brooke White (pictured, left). She brought her guitar out for a solid, straightforward and completely appealing "You're So Vain" (I liked her slightly raspy delivery). It all felt very comfy, like your camp counselor singing you a song around a fire (of course, that's what I imagine, since I was never in summer camp.) Unfortunately, that's about as well as she can do. Vocally, her ceiling isn't nearly as high as someone like Carly (or even Syesha). Still, she'll cruise to next week on the strength of her performance and interview package, where we found out she's a "beauty school dropout."

Speaking of "Grease" (that's a professional segue way right there), Alaina Whitaker tackled "Hopelessly Devoted to You". Too bad, she looked so old-fashioned (as Simon said) sounded like someone impersonating Olivia Newton-John. Unfortunately, the debate over her dress led to the first gay-baiting comment from Simon to Ryan this season (I really hoped we were over that). I was more interested in the fact that she revealed that she doesn't like the food on her plate to touch than I was in anything else.

Which is more than I can say for Ramiele Malubay. She told us we might be surprised to know she can hula dance (I wasn't surprised) before turning in a solid, but undistinguished and forgettable performance of "Don't Leave Me This Way", a song that's been done a million times. I WANT to like her because she's good, it's just not happening so far. Alaina and, especially, Ramiele should be back next week to try to win me over.

Two contestants I do like didn't fare any better. Though I wasn't sure about the cargo shorts, I thought Alexandrea Lushington sounded good on "If You Leave Me Now", and I liked the contrast to last week's "Spinning Wheel." Unfortunately, the judges accused her of playing it safe and I think she's in trouble this week. Meanwhile, Asia'h Epperson (who reminds me of Rashida Jones only when she sings) did the exact opposite by choosing a song with a high level of difficulty. Unfortunately, the beginning and the verses were mildly disastrous, though she finished decently. Though the judges seemed to give her a pass for trying a hard song, we kinda found out that Asia'h's just not a great singer — at least not yet.

As I mentioned, I really have a feeling that Alexandrea is going to (unfairly) be sent home, and I believe she'll be joined by one of this week's train wreck performers.

I don't think it's going to be Amanda Overmyer, even though her "Carry on my Wayward Son" was the worst performance of the week. She started off badly, the verses were miserable, and she just didn't have the energy she's had in week's past. Also, styling her hair like Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd" didn't really help matters. Still, since she's so grounded and likable, I think she's bought herself at least another week.

I don't think its' going to be Kristy Lee Cook, even though her "You're No Good" was, well, no good, it was a vast improvement from last week. So basically because was so awful last week and did considerably better (and she's a pretty blonde girl) she'll get to stick around. Also, what's with the weird robot face when she's singing? (I'll stop making fun of Carrie Underwood's blank face, and made fun of Kristy Lee as long as she's in the competition.) Finally, I'm still not convinced she can sing anything other than "Amazing Grace" well.

That means that I'm predicting Kady Malloy to wave bye bye to the competition. The part-time Britney impersonator/opera singer just cannot deliver on the Idol stage when she has to perform as herself. If only they could air her entertaining interview segments and have America vote on that. She claimed to love "Magic Man", so why was the performance so dreary? You don't do that to a song you allegedly love.

So what'd you think of this episode? Did the girls outsing the guys? Who was your favorite? Finally, I've got Jason Y, Luke, Alexandrea and Kady going home — who ya got?

American Idol: Happy Daves

Ok, so I can finally (sort of) understand what all the hype is about.

After scoring the plum slot as the last singer of the night, David Archuleta (pictured, right) made the producers proud with a lovely-slowed down "Imagine". I hadn't really been super-duper impressed with his vocal chops until last night. On top of that, his demeanor (especially for such a young contestant) appears to be genuinely genial and awestruck that he's doing so well (though I still suspect he HAS to know that he's pretty good).

Then again, maybe his "I can't believe I'm doing his well" demeanor is spot on, because, assuming he's genuine, I kind of agree with him. I mean, sure he's got the adorable puppy dog thing going, and, as I said, he proved to me that he can deliver a great vocal, but I still can't really believe he's doing this well. The judges and the audience seemed ready to hand him the "Idol" crown and cancel the rest of the season (Fox would have a heart attack). I also don't think it's a good thing at all that he's peaking so early in the competition as he's about two to three weeks away from the inevitable backlash.

At least Archuleta is delivering in his role as producers' pet — happened to Michael Johns last night. He was given the other plum slot (albeit the one no one really wants) last night, as he opened the show with "Go Your Own Way." His vocal was all over the place, and the entire performance was kind of a hot mess (a lukewarm mess?). Still, as Simon pointed out, he'll cruise to the next round, though I expect him to perform in some anonymous slot in the middle of the show after this week's performance.

In fact, have him switch with David Hernandez, who came from almost out of nowhere, when the show was starting to drag, to deliver the first standout performance with "Papa was a Rolling Stone." He looked completely comfortable on stage again (as he did during Hollywood Week), and was really the only performance that felt "70's" (I loved his strong finish). Archuleta may have outsung him, but Hernandez turned in my favorite performance. I'm pulling for him to put together two solid weeks in a row, and I'd actually love to see him close out the show next week.

He wasn't the only one showing improvement over the men's lackluster first week. Chikizie (not Eze) and David Cook did well enough to place themselves in the upper echelon of Tuesday night's performance. I didn't hate Chikizie as much as everyone else seemed to during 60's week, but he seemed incredibly comfortable on stage (again), connected very well with the song and the audience, and he sounded pretty good in "I Believe to My Soul" and, this week, when he talked back to Simon, it was all in good fun.

I can't say the same for word nerd David Cook's uncomfortable exchange with the British judge, which is a shame, because his guitar-driven performance of "All Right Now" was a vast improvement over last week. Although Paula basically suggested a seventh grader could've done the same thing, David looked a LOT more comfortable on stage with his guitar. As a fellow word nerd, I don't agree with Simon that Cook's interview package hurt him because it demonstrated a lack of charisma — I think Cook's lack of charisma is responsible for his lack of charisma, not the fact that he likes grammar.

In other guitar-related news, last week's big surprise Jason Castro went back to the well one too many times. The only problem is that his "I Just Want to Be Your Everything" wasn't a surprise like his Lovin' Spoonful cover last week, nor was it as good. It was basically a crappier remake of his performance from last week. Fortunately, his endearing interview package about how he hates to do interview packages probably offset any votes he may have lost due to his mediocre performance, but I wonder how well he'd do without hiding behind his guitar.

He should be joined there next week by Danny Noriega, who, we learned, was in a one-performance wonder punk band and looked even more like a woman when he was in said punk band than he does now. He tried tackling a slower number with "Superstar", and while it was a wise choice after last week's distraous-ish "Jailhouse Rock", I wasn't really too impressed with his vocals. It was smart to slow things down for a week, but I'd like to see a bit more "wow", next time he takes on a song that isn't in his up-tempo wheelhouse.

That leaves a group of three guys who I suppose I HAVE to talk about and from where Thursday's eliminations will more than likely come from.

Normally, when trying to handicap an "Idol" elimination, you don't want to pick the two most awful performers — Luke Menard and Jason Yaeger — to go home. You want to pick one awful person, and one who wasn't THAT bad, but mostly forgettable (Robbie Carrico.)

Still, Menard and Yeager were SO bad, I just have to pick them to go home. It's cool that Menard was in an acapella group, but his vocal during "Killer Queen" was painfully blah. I don't really understand why you would pick a Queen song and then almost completely play it straight (and boring). If that wasn't enough, Ryan called him "Dawson's Creek" at the end of their interview, and I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it as a compliment.

Meanwhile, the less said about Yeager's "Long Train(wreck) Running" the better. I mean, he sounded bad, the dancing was painfully dorky and he inappropriately had a goofy smile plasted on his face the entire time — other than that, I liked it.

As for Robbie Carrico, I think he'll squeak by one more week. He continued his crusade to convince us he's hardcore by telling us he likes to drag race, and I thought, even though he didn't have enough energy, he actually sounded pretty good during "Hot Blooded." The problem is that his "identity crisis" about being a rocker or pop singer is more interesting than anything he's ever done on stage. Also, he looked visibly pissed at all the flack his alleged rocker cred was taking.

So what you think of last night's episode? Who do you think is going home? Finally, is David Archuleta really THAT good?

John's 2008 Oscar Diary

The big show is finally here!

I just drank a Gatorade (yes, product placement has made its way on to my blog), so I'll have enough energy for the marathon that will be the 80th Academy Awards.

This Oscar telecast should be particularly interesting given reports that the show's writers had only 11 days to work with. Personally, I think (or I'm hoping) that it's going to make for a faster-moving, more economic show (hopefully with a lot fewer montages) with a few surprises thrown in for good measure.

Anyway, the show's about to start — get ready for the biggest night in Hollywood as seen through the eyes of one of the biggest Puerto Ricans in south St. Pete.

0:01 After a mildly chaotic animated tribute to Oscar-winning classics like "Cars" and the new "Godzilla", the show's under way! I wish they would've sprung for graphics better than what I'd see on a Saturday morning cartoon.

0:03 Jon Stewart is coming out swinging and addressing the end of the writer's strike right off the bat. Funny stuff, and I'm as glad as anyone that it's over, but let's hope the entire evening doesn't keep coming back to strike jokes.

0:05 Stewart looks a LOT more comfortable than he did hosting the first time around, and scored a nice laugh by saying "Thank God, for teen pregnancy" when talking about this year's darker fare. Bonus points for the camera cutting to Ellen Page — who's apparently now the poster child for teen pregnancy — after this comment.

0:06 Javier Bardem has arrived ladies and gentlemen — he scored the coveted seat next to Jack Nicholson in the front row.

0:11 Stewart killed in his opening monologue — he mixed in the political humor that is his wheelhouse with solid Hollywood stuff. My favorite was his joke about stripper-turned-writer Diablo Cody taking a pay cut. Also, two words — Gaydolf Titler.

0:12 The first Shoulda-Been Oscar Nominee of the evening, Jennifer Garner, presents Best Costume Design to "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" — and I'm 1 for 1 on my Oscar picks. I consider quitting while I'm perfect in my picks for the evening, but I decide to press on for my dedicated readers — both of them.

0:13 I turned around to readjust my recliner and the "Elizabeth" costume designer was done with her speech. I'm sure she's a nice lady, but I'm glad she realized no one really wants to hear her say anything more than "thank you". Also, where are the Supporting acting awards? Those are usually first.

0:17 Does anyone current actor look more natural in a tuxedo than George Clooney? Let me know if you think of anyone. Unfortunately, he got stuck presenting the first montage of the evening. It's an Oscar tribute to — the Oscars! (Ugh.)

0:21 Erica and I sat through pretty much the entire red carpet show and we agree that pretty much no one looks better than Anne Hathaway tonight. She's joined by my boy Steve Carell, to present Documen, nope Best Animated Feature in a funny bit where he made the subject matter of the nominated flicks seem harrowing. Their easy chemistry bodes well for this summer's "Get Smart."

0:24 My favorite movie of the year wins "Best Animated Feature". "Ratatouille" director started off strong, giving a nice speech about how anyone who wants to make movies is discouraged at first, but things got away from him and he ended up rambling.

0:26 All of a sudden an orangey and incredibly nervous Katherine Heigl is out there to present Best Makeup. Whoever applied her makeup tonight won't be winning since she looks like she's having an allergic reaction in her cheeks and forehead. "La Vie en Rose" wins, bringing me to 3 for 3.

0:29 Kudos to Jon Stewart for incorporating a pitch pipe into his intro to Amy Adams performing the evening's first nominated ditty, "Happy Working Song." I wonder why she decided this would be the one song from "Enchanted" (out of three) that she wanted to sing.

0:31 Amy Adams does a nice job, and I love it when actors actually sing the nominated song instead of having someone else do it for them. It was slightly better than what Jon Stewart started singing. Still, as my girl Erica astutely asked, "Where were all the animals?"

0:37 If I would've told you 8 years ago that The Rock would be presenting at the Oscars one day, you would've said, "what is "The Rock?"

0:39 He gives Best Visual Effects to "The Golden Compass" — I had "Transformers" — who are as surprised by their victory as I am. Those guys are psyched and I like that!

0:40 Again, I'm not exactly sure what Art Direction is, but somehow it fits that Cate Blanchett would be presenting it. She's so arty. "Sweeney Todd" wins, and, since I had "There Will Be Blood", I find myself mired in a nasty two-award losing streak. I enjoyed watching the winners march to the stage while the ominous "Sweeney" music played.

0:44 We're being treated to a genuinely cool montage of past Best Supporting Actor winners. Good stuff, and I'm sure Cuba Gooding Jr. is enjoying watching the moment 10 years ago when his life peaked.

0:45 Everyone who said we would never see Jennifer Hudson again after "Dreamgirls" is proven dead wrong, as she comes out to give Javier Bardem his Oscar, I mean, to present "Best Supporting Actor."

0:48 Javier gets bilingual on us, thanking the "No Country" cast and crew, and thanking his family in Spanish, and dedicating his award to Spain. Curiously, he actually spoke faster in English than he did in Spanish (usually people speaking in Spanish do so at 100MPH.)

0:49 Nice job by the Oscars letting only a little less than an hour go by before presenting an award people at home actually care about.

0:53 Yes! The show is totally with me in my hatred of montages by presenting very stirring tributes to binoculars and periscopes, as well as people waking from bad dreams.

0:55 So Keri Russell is "the star of 'August Rush'"? Take THAT "Waitress"! You thought you'd been dissed before. She presents the one nominated song I've never heard of, "Raise it Up". Though it promises to be gospellbinding, I still say it took the slot that should've gone to "Pop Goes My Heart" from "Music and Lyrics."

0:58 That may have been the largest collection of black people we're likely to see at the Oscars for the next few years, so I hope you enjoyed that.

0:59 Is this the first time I've seen Owen Wilson in public since, you know, the suicide attempt? I think so. He's out to present Best Live Action Short Film. I closed my eyes, threw a dart and picked "At Night".

1:00 And the winning director of Le Mozart de Pickpockets" has considerably worse seats than Javier Bardem. He tried to speak English, quit and then ran off — kinda like Javier Bardem, when you think about it.

1:02 Even though it was released in theatres more than four months ago, we're still sitting through annoying plugs for "Bee Movie." When will it end?! Barry B. Benson (voiced by Jerry Seinfeld) presents Best Animated Short film to "Peter and the Wolf."

1:04 Here comes "Best Supporting Actress (I've got Cate Blanchett)." For those of you scoring at home (oh wait, only I'm doing that), that's more than two hours, and two awards that people care about. At this pace, "Best Picture" should be handed out around 3:30 a.m.

1:06 Damn! Tilda Swinton takes a commanding list for Worst Dressed (and Worst Styled and Worst Everything). Who thought it would be a good idea to make her look like Eric Stoltz?

1:08 I've been a fan of Eric Stoltz since "Mask", and he was very good in everything from "Pulp Fiction" to "The Butterfly Effect." It's good to see him finally pick up an Oscar.

1:10 Seriously though, she started off kinda rough by saying she was giving her statue to her agent (blech), but she finished strong with touching tributes to director Tony Gilroy and co-star George Clooney and his nippled Bat suit. And we also have our first mini-surprise of the ceremony.

1:14 The announcer guy introduces the "always-fantastic Jessica Alba." Clearly, Mr. Announcer Guy has yet to see Jessica Alba in any of her movies.

1:15 Nice restraint by Jon Stewart, waiting more than an hour to make the obligatory "Jack Nicholson is a horny old man joke."

1:17 Josh Brolin and James McAvoy — presenting Best Adapted Screenplay — do a funny bit where they recite famous lines from adapted screenplays to each other. Josh also makes another Jack-centric joke. The floodgates are officially open. (Also, Erica discovers another handsome guy in Josh Brolin she's interested in checking out.)

1:19 The Coen Bros. win and give an entertainingly awkward acceptance speech. Also, I'm a huge fan, but I freely admit that I have no idea which is Joel and which is Ethan. Either way, expect to see them again before the evening is out.

1:20 Why does the president of whatever academy is putting on the show have to come out there? I mean they HAVE to know that no one cares about them, right? Mental nap time!

1:23 I didn't see it, but Erica tells me that Miley Cyrus almost tripped as she came out to introduce Kristin Chenoweth's rendition of "That's How You Know". I'm sorry I missed it. I don't have anything against Miley — I just generally enjoy watching people almost fall.

1:24 Yes, it's that Jamaican guy that was in "Enchanted!" I like to think of him as the human version of Sebastian from "The Little Mermaid." Chenoweth's singing is obviously good, but a little too Broadway-y for my taste.

1:26 Again, Chenoweth's singing was technically good (can you tell I don't want a bunch of angry Broadway fans to get on my case?), but that performance had little-to-zero of the joy that sequence had in the movie. Sorry.

1:27 "It kinda sucked"- Erica. Obviously, she's not as scared of a bunch of Broadway geeks coming after her as I am.

1:32 Hot comics of the moment Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill are doing a very funny bit about who's more Halle Berry and who's more Judi Dench. And now, here's Sound Editing! (Personally, I agree with Jonah — I'm getting more of a Halle vibe from him.)

1:34 I wonder which hot comics of the moment will get to present at the Oscars next year. Any thoughts? Anyway, "The Bourne Ultimatum" sound editors completely choked during their speech. Kinda sad I mean — will those two ever get a chance like this again?

1:37 Apparently, all of the sound in "The Bourne Ultimatum" was impeccable as it also wins Sound Mixing.

1:39 Out of nowhere, here comes Best Actress! Personally, I think this is a pretty major award that probably should not be thrown in right after Sound Mixing, but I'm just glad I have a reason to really pay attention for a minute.

1:43 Another victory that is somewhat of a surprise as Marion Cotillard wins Best Actress over the favored Julie Christie. She's caught completely by surprise by her victory (which is cute), and I like her Benigni-lite "I'm not so good with English" enthusiasm. Seriously though, when is an American actor going to step up and win something? USA! USA!

1:48 As soon as Colin Farrell was introduced, I figured he'd be introducing "Falling Slowly" from "Once". You know, because of the Irish thing. Slightly predictable, but I'll give them credit for at least not having a black person (Keri Russell) introduce the "August Rush" performance.

1:50 I'm loving the tattered guitar Glen Hansard is rocking for this lovely performance. Also, I love that, although their on a huge stage backed by an orchestra, it still felt intimate.

1:52 "His guitar looks fucked up —like it got hit by Hurricane Katrina"- Erica. (I'm telling you, she's the real talent here, I just take her out to dinner every once in a while.)

1:54 Also, Jack Nicholson can even make an introduction of 80 years worth of Best Picture winners sound slightly creepy. That takes true talent right there. Meanwhile, the Oscars are hitting for a decent average with all their montages tonight, as I'm enjoying this look at all these brilliant films (and silently trying to figure out how many I own).

1:58 Renee Zellwegger — I'm still waiting for her to open her squinty eyes — comes out to give Best Editing to "The Bourne Ultimatum." I loved the "Bourne Ultimatum" and the Academy seems to agree that it was very well made, so why can't it get serious consideration for "Best Picture" or "Best Director". You think about that, Academy!

2:01 Wearing a chandelier around her neck, Nicole Kidman comes out to pay tribute to Honorary Oscar recipient and production designer Robert Boyle. If she's there, why did they only show her picture when Jon Stewart was giving out a baby earlier?

2:03 In his narration, Boyle says "a lot of people don't know what a production designer does." I don't feel so bad about not knowing anymore. Also, by the time his tribute is over, I STILL don't know what the hell he does. Still, if I ever make it to 98 years old, I hope I'm half as coherent as he is.

2:12 Penelope Cruz is out there — she's pretty ethnic and speaks with an accent so it must be time for "Best Foreign Film." Austria's "The Counterfeiters" wins. And, to be honest, this is probably the last time I (and probably you, if you stop kidding yourself) will think about this film.

2:15 Mrs. Announcer Woman just introduced "the versatile and handsome" Patrick Dempsey. Did I miss something? When did he become versatile? I was pretty sure all he's able to do is be handsome. (Sorry, I couldn't let an evening go by without taking, at least, a veiled shot at "Grey's Anatomy.")

2:17 After two minutes of debating, Erica finally convinces me that it is NOT Amy Adams in there dancing, but some double. She also dubs this the "boy band song" in the movie and that it is going to be huge at proms this spring. As usual, she's exactly right on both accounts.

2:19 After hearing all the nominated songs, I take back what I said about "Raise it Up" — it was a worthy nominee. Instead, I'd sub in "Pop Goes My Heart" for either "So Close" or "Happy Working Song." I liked "Enchanted", but it didn't need to have three songs nominated. I really hope "Falling Slowly" wins!

2:20 YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! – John and Erica. I like to think of this as an extension of the storyline in the movie. Guy and Girl eventually write an Oscar-winning song and deliver a charmingly humble acceptance speech.

2:22 Too bad! Marketa Irglova was about to say something but she got cut off by her own music. Jon Stewart makes a great remark about how "arrogant" Glen Hansard is. I'll just say it right now — Stewart is easily doing the best hosting job in the past decade.

2:27 Stewart just cemented himself in my mind as the best Oscar host of my lifetime (sorry Billy Crystal) after bringing out Irglova and giving her a chance to say what she wanted. All together now: AWWWWWWWW.

2:30 Cameron Diaz struggles through the word cinematography (but makes light of it) and gives Roger Elswit and "There Will Be Blood" the film's first award of the evening.

2:32 Hilary Swank introduces the In Memoriam segment. Heath Ledger HAS to be the overwhelming favorite to receive the most applause and the coveted award for "Dead Celebrity We Apparently Miss the Most."

2:35 I think Ledger got the most applause (it could've been director Ingmar Bergman). Still, Ledger definite had the benefit of the music crescendoing as his clip came up. Also, where the hell was Brad Renfro?!

2:39 Amy Adams throws "Atonement" a freaking bone, I mean, presents the film with Best Original Score.

2:43 I wonder if the soldiers in Iraq who are introducing the nominees for Best Documentary Short Subject are able to watch themselves introducing Best Documentary Short Subject right now. Also, did they feel shafted by getting such a lame category?

2:47 I asked it yesterday during my picks, and I'll ask it again right now — does the Academy dare put Michael Moore on its stage in an election year — and when so many nominees are examinations of the war in Iraq — after booing him for being critical of Bush? (I guess not, as "Taxi to the Dark Side" takes the prize.)

2:54 Looks like somebody just woke up Harrison Ford to present Best Original Screenplay. Anyway, he thankfully looks a lot livelier in the trailer for "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull", so I'll allow you to geek out over that. You're welcome.

2:55 Mostly, I just like being able to write the phrase, "Oscar winner Diablo Cody". I also like that, even though she was a heavy favorite to win, she's still genuinely surprised and touched. Awww, emotion! She got choked up towards the end of her speech.

3:00 We're at the three-hour mark, so it's time for the Daniel Day Lewis Award, aka Best Actor in a Leading Role. Can his upcoming speech possibly be as good as his Heath Ledger tribute at the SAGs?

3:02 No matter what Helen Mirren is doing, she's always performing the hell out of it.

3:04 Lewis has a little kiss for Clooney on his way to the stage. Erica just pointed out that it was by far the most poetic speech of the evening (or any other evening really). He was obviously delighted that he won, but completely in control the entire time.

3:10 I can see the light at the end of the tunnel that is this telecast as they're about to hand out the award for Best Director from Oscar winner Martin Scorcese (how good is it to finally be able to say that?) I've got the Coens, but would have absolutely no problem with P.T. Anderson taking the prize home.

3:13 Ok, apparently Ethan is the shorter, more awkward (and funnier?) one. Actually, that's not true, they're both pretty funny. I have a feeling they shouldn't go too far since the award for "Best Picture" is coming up.

3:16 A curiously bald Denzel Washington (the same way Jack Nicholson was curiously bald last year) gives Best Picture to "No Country". The Coens come back out from backstage, but let a bald man talk instead (my sources tell me he's super producer Scott Rudin). I approve of this choice.

3:17 I also approve of this ceremony, which, if memory serves, actually clocked in shorter than the Grammys a few weeks ago. The nominated movie that I thought was the best won Best Picture, and Jon Stewart was a terrific host. Very good times tonight, I'd say.

Hope you had as much fun reading about me watching the show, as I had watching the show. If you made it this far, thanks for sticking with me the entire time and I owe you a hug. If you quit around the two-hour mark, then scrolled to the end, thanks for reading ANYTHING that I write anyway — but you get no hug. Good night.

John's 2008 Oscar Picks

When it comes to prognosticating, I've always been sort of a procrastinator.

Wow, even I have to groan out loud at that first sentence. Sorry about that folks.

Why don't we just get on to my Oscar picks? (Whose well-manicured hand is that, anyway?) As I mentioned earlier this week, I'll also be doing my much-anticipated (only in my mind) 2nd Annual Oscar Diary during the telecast.

Check back in early next week and I'll let you know how well I did with my picks. Unless, of course, I do really badly, in which case I might mysteriously forget to mention how I did.

On to the picks: (My picks to win will be in bold.)

BEST PICTURE

Atonement

Juno

Michael Clayton

No Country for Old Men

There Will Be Blood

What John Thinks: I feel pretty good about this category, seeing as how I've picked the last six Best Picture winners correctly (you're gonna have to take my words, since I've only been blogging for the past year). Also, there's the fact that "No Country" has won pretty much every "best film" award under the sun. "Atonement" has no momentum, "Blood" is impressive, but even more divisive than "No Country", and even George Clooney doesn't think "Michael Clayton" has a chance. I see a minor possibility of "No Country" and "Blood" splitting votes, allowing "Juno" to win (you know, the one of these movies America actually saw), but I'd still bet on "No Country". I actually happen to agree that it's the Best Picture out of the group.

DIRECTOR
Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood

Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton

Jason Reitman, Juno

Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

What John Thinks: Though I'm picking the Coens will win, I would personally give Anderson the award because "Blood" is SO much his vision. Still, the Coens are completely deserving. Reitman and Gilroy have no chance, but watch out for a possible Schnabel win for voters wanting to reward "Butterfly."

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Juno

Lars and the Real Girl

Michael Clayton

Ratatouille

The Savages

What John Thinks: I think this will be how the Academy rewards "Juno", the biggest hit out of any of the major contenders. Personally, I'd give the prize to Brad Bird's "Ratatouille" screenplay because I thought Anton Ego's speech at the end was the year's best writing.

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Atonement

Away from Her

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

No Country for Old Men

There Will Be Blood

What John Thinks: I'm picking the Coens to win and I also think they should win for their apparently faithful adaptation (I'm not going to pretend that I read the book) of an allegedly hard to adapt book. Although Anderson gets props for coming up with such a unique story from Upton Sinclair's "Oil!", sometimes the smartest thing you can do is stay out of your own way and let the source material speak for itself. It makes me sad that P.T. Anderson is probably going to get completely shut out at the Oscars yet again (after "Boogie Nights", and "Magnolia"). Oh well.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

George Clooney, Michael Clayton

Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah

Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises

What John Thinks: The only surer thing is the Supporting Actor "race" (see two spots below). It's a shame because Clooney, Depp and Mortensen could've been strong contenders to win just last year. I can't really comment on Jones because I wasn't one of the 17 people that saw In the Valley of Elah –elah-elah-eh-eh-eh (sorry, couldn't resist).

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Julie Christie, Away from Her

Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose

Laura Linney, The Savages

Ellen Page, Juno

What John Thinks: Though I'm picking Christie to win, I'd give the award to Ellen Page because she created one of the breakout movie characters in the last year, was equally adept at the comedic and dramatic aspects of her performance, and because it's the only one of these five that I saw. Still, Oscar will likely go with the old-pro, Oscar winner Christie (for "Darling"), though watch out for Cotillard, who's gaining big-time momentum.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men

Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War

Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild

Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton

What John Thinks: See my comment two spots about how this is an absolute sure thing. The other four nominees can just show up, collect their $20,000 gift bag, and hang out for a few hours because they're not going to win. Not only will Bardem win the Oscar, but he's also the heavy frontrunner for "Actor Most Likely To Make My Girl Erica Swoon."

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There

Ruby Dee, American Gangster

Saoirse Ronan, Atonement

Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone

Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

What John Thinks: I've actually seen every performance EXCEPT for Blanchett's, so why am I picking her to win? Because the Academy LOVES her (she's a past winner and check out the dual nominations this year) and they love to reward gimmicky transformations (Nicole Kidman's nose in "The Hours", for example). As for the other contenders, I'd choose Swinton in the slightest of margins over Ryan (both were excellent). Ronan was good for a young actor, but not really Oscar worthy, and if the Academy wanted to nominate a five-minute performance, they should've nominated Vanessa Redgrave in "Atonement" instead of Ruby Dee in "Gangster."

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

12 (Russia)

Beaufort (Israel)

Counterfeiters (Austria)

Katyn (Poland)

Mongol (Kazakhstan)

What John Thinks: I've usually seen one or two of the nominees, but this year I haven't even heard of any of the contenders. I'm going with "Katyn" because I saw "The Pianist" last night, and I just want to throw my support behind Polish people in any way I can (60 years too late). Also, I have no good "Borat" joke to make me pick the movie from Kazakhstan.

ANIMATED FEATURE

Persepolis

Ratatouille

Surf's Up

What John Thinks: Duh, I've been telling anyone who'll listen that "Ratatouille" was the best movie of the year. I've gotta go with it. I'm not going to be like the Oscars last year, which gave "Pan's Labyrinth" several technical awards, then inexplicably passed it over for "Best Foreign Film." I just hope there's someone around to console me if Persepolis pulls the upset.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

No End in Sight

Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience

Sicko

Taxi to the Dark Side

War/Dance

What John Thinks: Do the Oscars dare put Michael Moore back on stage during an election year? I don't know. It would make for some entertaining television. Fortunately, squeamish voters have an easy out in "No End" which is supposed to be an excellently objective takedown of all the mistakes leading up the United State's involvement in Iraq.

SHORT FILM - ANIMATED

I Met the Walrus

Madame Tutli-Putli

My Love (Moya Lyubov)

Peter & the Wolf

What John Thinks: I usually pick the cutesiest title in the lot, and I'm usually wrong (sorry, "I Met the Walrus" and "Madame Tutli-Putli"). I've actually heard of the "Peter & the Wolf" story, so I'm going to zag and vote for "My Love" (or as I call it when I speak about with my friends, "Moya Lyubov").

SHORT FILM - LIVE ACTION

At Night

Il Supplente (The Substitute)

Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)

Tanghi Argentini

The Tonto Woman

What John Thinks: I get that almost no one in the general public watches these, but where do Academy members go to watch these? I know they're "short films", but I don't know that I would even take 25 minutes to sit through any or all of these if I were a member. I GUARANTEE you that a significant portion of Academy members vote for movies with funny titles.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT

Freeheld

La Corona (The Crown)

Salim Baba

Sari's Mother

What John Thinks: To me, "Sari's Mother" was the only Documentary Short all year that really had something to say. Everything else was ultra-commercial trash!

ORIGINAL SCORE

Atonement

The Kite Runner

Michael Clayton

Ratatouille

3:10 to Yuma

What John Thinks: If the Academy feels like rewarding "Atonement", this would be the perfect place. I thought the clickity, clackety keyboard bits and the rest of the score were definitely a highlight of the film.

ORIGINAL SONG

"Falling Slowly" - Once

"Happy Working Song" - Enchanted

"Raise It Up" - August Rush

"So Close" - Enchanted

"That's How You Know" – Enchanted

What John Thinks: Assuming enough Academy members pulled themselves away from watching Live Action Short Films and got around to watching "Once", they'd have to give "Falling Slowly" (a beautiful song in, arguably, the film's signature sequence) the prize. It'd be a great way to recognizing a terrific gem of a movie. Yes, I know that I've called "That's What You Know" one of my favorite sequences of the year (and I'm looking forward to watching Kristin Chenoweth sing it at the ceremony, as well as shoulda-been Oscar nominee Amy Adams take on the "Happy Working Song"), but I think the three "Enchanted" songs will split the vote.

ART DIRECTION

American Gangster

Atonement

The Golden Compass

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

There Will Be Blood

What John Thinks: To be honest, I'm not 100% sure on what art direction is (it has to do with set design, right?), but I can't believe they'd let "Blood" go home with ZERO prizes. Since, this seems like the category to reward pretty films, watch out for "Atonement" or possibly "Sweeney" winning.

CINEMATOGRAPHY

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Atonement

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

No Country for Old Men

There Will Be Blood

What John Thinks: I actually think that Roger Deakins' work in "Country" was a little better than Elswit's incredibly and thrilling work in "Blood." But since Deakins is also nominated for "Jesse James", I'm feeling a vote split that'll benefit Elswit, and give the Academy a chance to reward "Blood" since I'm predicting it'll get shut out of most major awards.

COSTUME DESIGN

Across the Universe

Atonement

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

La Vie en Rose

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

What John Thinks: About the only nice thing anyone had to say about the "Elizabeth" sequel was how great the costumes were. I see them triumphing over Keira Knightley's green dress in "Atonement"

MAKEUP

La Vie en Rose

Norbit

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

What John Thinks: I think of "Pirates" as more of a special effects accomplishment than makeup, and I just can't stomach the Academy making "Norbit" an Oscar-winning film. So by process of elimination (and so that "La Vie en Rose") gets a little love, I'll give it the nod.

SOUND MIXING

The Bourne Ultimatum

No Country for Old Men

Ratatouille

3:10 to Yuma

Transformers

What John Thinks: I don't really know what this means, but I'll go with "No Country" because, um, the way the sound was, um, mixed, was really scary and effective. (Where else can you go for such hard-hitting analysis?)

SOUND EDITING

The Bourne Ultimatum

No Country for Old Men

Ratatouille

There Will Be Blood

Transformers

What John Thinks: What's going on in the "3:10 to Yuma" Sound department? The mixing guys were good enough to pick up a nomination, but the people who worked on editing COMPLETELY dropped the ball, opening the door for "Blood" to sneak in there. You should be ashamed of yourselves, "3:10 to Yuma" sound editor(s).

VISUAL EFFECTS

The Golden Compass

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Transformers

What John Thinks: Say what you will about Michael Bay, but seriously? How cool did those robots look? Also, "The Golden Compass" gets two nominations, and "Zodiac" gets none?!

FILM EDITING

The Bourne Ultimatum

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Into the Wild

No Country for Old Men

There Will Be Blood

What John Thinks: Although I wish they would've edited their damn movie to make the last 25 minutes a little more comprehensible to anyone who hadn't read the book, the Coens should win their fourth statue of the evening under their editing pseudonym, Roderick Jaynes. (Actually, it'll probably be their first award, because it'll likely be given out before any of the major prizes.)

Lost: Trial and Aaron

I'm not the biggest Kate fan in the world.

I mean, Evangeline Lilly is pretty, but Kate is really stupid on the Island sometimes, and no matter how hard her flashbacks try, I just don't find her that interesting.

So when I saw the previews for this week's Kate-centric episode, I was a little dubious. And while it certainly wasn't one of the best episodes of "Lost" we've ever seen, I definitely enjoyed looking at Kate's future a lot more than her past.

While this episode was ultimately frustrating because it was one of those installments that introduced a ton of new mysteries to be solved at a later date, there WAS some good character development stuff to be had.

At the forefront of that was Kate, of course, and her love triangle with Sawyer and Jack. In fact, I didn't really think this was much of a triangle, since I felt that, despite the fact she's been shooting daggers at Juliet all season, Kate clearly cared for Sawyer more. After last night's episode, I don't think that's the case.

In the future, Kate was on trial for her laundry list of pre-plane crash crimes. We'd gotten hints of it, but we found out for sure that the Oceanic Six are some sort of megacelebs (it's still sorta weird seeing Kate with makeup) when clean-shaven Jack showed up to perjure himself at Kate's trial and basically give her credit for doing everything he did (being the Island's hero).

What was most interesting about this scene, obviously, was Jack's claim that only eight people survived the crash, with the other two dying before the Ocean Six could be rescued. It's apparent that the Oceanic Six have all agreed on some fake story they're telling the rest of the world and that they're hiding the fates of a significant amount of the castaways. Also, why would Jack say that only eight survived the crash, only to die before they could be rescued? I'm assuming the U.S. Marshal could be one of the two that died after the plane crash according to Jack's story, but who would the other be?

Of course, that was far from the only whopper in Kate's flash forward, as we found out that her son was actually the one that Kate was worried about getting back to when she met Jack in the season 3 finale. Kate's mom was desperate to meet her grandson and offered to back off her incriminating testimony for the chance to meet him. I never really understood how Kate's mom could turn her in for killing her abusive asshole of a husband, so I was delighted to see that Kate's mom changed her mind on her own after Kate refused to let her see Aaron.

Oh that's right, did I mention that Kate is claiming Aaron as her own son. This actually wasn't difficult to guess from the Island scenes where the camera lingered on the baby a little longer than normal, and Kate was hesitant to the idea of being a mother. Still, this brings up the inevitable question of what could possibly eventually happen to Claire to separate her from her son. Also, why was Jack so hesitant to see Kate's son? I'm assuming he'd know it was really Aaron, and maybe he has some guilt over whatever went down. Or maybe eventually he finds out that Aaron is sort of his nephew and the whole thing kinda weird him out.

Though this was Kate's episode, back on the Island, Sawyer and Locke had strong showings.

During the opening scene when Dictator Locke was preparing breakfast for Ben, the first thing I noticed was that he was wearing a white shirt (as opposed to that yellow-ish/brown joint he's been rocking for most of the show's run). Of course, it wasn't long before Ben got in his head again about not knowing what to do "being lost". Even though it's sad for the character, I like the fact that no matter how badass Locke gets, he's still a deeply insecure guy with daddy issues (Ben's face after messing with him yet again was priceless).

Last week, I lamented that Sawyer may not be long for this world, and I'm still feeling that way. I enjoyed the scenes with his odd couple roommate Hurley ("Xanadu", Hurley?!). After a bit of resistance, he and Kate even got to play house for a bit. Of course, it turned out that she was using him to help her free Miles so he could talk to Ben, but I liked the fact that Sawyer sniffed it out and called her out on it.

What didn't go over so well was Kate (who really is constantly running), after being banished by Locke, trying to sneak away after a night of no sex (Sawyer is such a gentleman), causing Sawyer to get angry and (probably accurately) claim that she'd come running back as soon as Jack did something to piss her off. Harsh? A little. Accurate? Probably.

Here's the point: in the Island Kate's had no problem at all using Sawyer over and over again (which he allows because he loves her), but in the flash forward, it seemed like she couldn't bear to have Jack lie for her as she interrupted his testimony. We know that Jack loves Kate (he told her last night), but does she really love him? Or does she at least love him more than Sawyer?

Anyway, like I said, not the most electrifying episode, but it certainly opens up opportunities and questions for later in this season and maybe even years to come.

So what'd you think of this episode? More specifically, what'd you think of all the mini-mysteries thrown out there? What happened to the helicopter Frank, Sayid and Desmond are on? (looks like we'll find out next week). What was up with the card experiment Charlotte and Daniel were doing? Why would Miles specifically ask for 3.2 mil to lie about Ben being dead? (and not 3.3 or 3.4 or whatever) Why does Sun not want to go to America anymore? Finally, where is Elizabeth Mitchell's screen time? (she was great last year, and has yet to really do anything so far this season).

America's Next Top Recap: Model Students

Like an "American Idol" contestant who mentions they have the flu before a performance to serve as a built-in excuse, I'm going to let you guys know that this won't be my strongest work. At this point, I feel as bad as the patient in an episode of "House" who's crashing after House and his team foolishly believe they've solved the case only 28 minutes in.

It's a shame too because I've made no secret out of the fact that the America's Next Top Recap" is my favorite to write.

This is true even in hectic premieres like last night where we're introduced to 35 girls in a whirlwind, following a montage of the show's greatest hits (people were literally being hit in a few instances) and I'm trying to decide who I shouldn't really get attached to.

The girls arrived at America's Next Top Model Prep School, where Ms. J was a little too into his schtick as a professor and there was only one class (Runway Walking 101). Apparently the sexy school girl thing never gets old (I guess we like a little light pedophilia) as this was an improvement over last year's cruise ship conceit.

After taking their student ID photos, the girls went to a bonfire where I eagerly anticipated crazy Tyra's entrance. So why the hell was I surprised when she popped up after Mr. Jay said he was going to introduce the homecoming queen? I thought one of the girls was going to be announced as the student ID challenge winner. So I was expecting Tyra and she (and her in-character goofiness) STILL got me. Well played, Banks.

Let's get to the contestants. According to my notes Amy is a freak, but in a good way. This means two things: she would've been entertaining in the house (if she'd made it), and secondly, I'm still taking notes while watching ANTM (sigh).

Also, as soon as awkward Lauren described herself as an artsy girl who kept being told that she should model, I knew she was in. I can already see her week 6 or 7 elimination because she just doesn't have the desire.

The two girls who dominated the episode's screen time were Fatima (pictured, left) and Marvita. Fatima practically went through an entire Top Model journey in a single episode. I thought the Somalia native came off as slightly uppity when she was criticizing fellow hopefuls Shaya (Muhammad Ali's daughter, who annoying referred herself in the third person) and Shalynda (in her 8th time trying out) for being ghetto. Of course, Shalynda went on to prove her point by trying to pick a fight. Later, Fatima (the most exotic looking constant, so I see her going out in week 8) revealed she'd been a victim of female circumcision when she was 7 and that she's sort of a perfectionist when it comes to photo shoots. Other than that, we didn't learn anything about her.

Meanwhile, Marvita back after just missing the cut last year, inadvertently insulted two people. When former contestants were pretending to be cheerleaders, she said "there's Furonda, Jael, the twins, and that one girl" (poor Joanie). She also insensitively asked Fatima if she felt like less of a woman (though it's possible she was actually trying to help here, but with lack of tact). She also casually mentioned her therapy sessions and she described herself as a stray dog. But what you really want to know are my girl Erica's thoughts, right?

"I think Marvita is ugly" – Erica. (well then)

"I just don't like her" – Me.

Other than that, we got glimpses at some possible contenders, as well as other girls who don't have a chance.

Though I thought the judges should've picked plus-sized Latina Jennifer, they went with Whitney, who I didn't even think was plus sized. Still, she takes a damn good photo, seems strong mentally, and has me ALMOST ready to talk myself into thinking she might be the plus size model to win this damn thing.

I also liked Stacey Ann and her ridiculous lap-dance "doo-doo-doo" music. At this point, she seems too cutesy to be high fashion.

On the other hand, the judges made a point of making a 14th slot for Dominique, the second most exotic-looking contestant, so Tyra must see a lot of potential in her. I'm making her my ridiculously early pick to win it all. I also liked Katarzyna, who is kinda like Natasha from a few years back, if Natasha were a Cornell grad. Finally, Allison seems to have potential, as long as they don't let her do her own makeup as she did in the evening's final photo shoot by making them too cry-y.

Other than that, not too many people made an impression. As always, it should be an interesting season, and I'm getting ready to know the rest of the girls. Whoever the hell they are.

So what'd you think of this episode? Did you like Saleisha's "Cover Girl" commercial (yes! No more Jaslene!) Who's your early favorite? Did someone get cut who you think should've made it. Finally, how the hell do I make this head and stomachache and sore throat go away?

American Idol: Gender Inequality

After the guys came out and mostly sucked the big one Tuesday night (as you can see journalism school wasn't wasted on me), my claim that the guys would be more talented than the girls this year was on very shaky ground.

With the ladies' first performance on Wednesday, that opinion is pretty much dead.

As was the case last year in the semifinals, there are just more talented girls than guys and, unfortunately, one or two of them is not going to make the cut (thanks to that silly rule that there has to be six guys and six dolls).

Unlike last year's semis (with Melinda Doolittle, Lakisha Jones, etc.) , none of the girls were really spectacular — instead, they were just all-around more solid than a lot of the listless and downright forgettable guys.

Ok, I'm gonna try to run through these singers as quickly as can because I might have a stomach flu. Seriously, I feel and look as bad as a guy in the first three minutes of an episode of "House."

My favorite of the night was definitely Alexandrea Lushington (pictured, right)— not just because "Alexandrea" is the rare combining of two names into one that actually works, but because her performance of "Spinning Wheel" (and her wardrobe) had the most personality by far. Also, I don't know what Simon was listening to, but, while she wasn't perfect, I thought she also had one of the evening's best vocals. Not too bad for someone I barely remember hearing or seeing in the past few weeks.

Although Syesha Mercado was fierce with a capital "F" during "Tobacco Road", I don't know if she can count as my second favorite performance of the night. For example, Amanda Overmyer rocked just as hard (if not harder), but I didn't feel like I was being yelled out most of the time (also, the scatting and the way she apologized to the dude that hit her with his semi was very endearing).

So I guess I'd have to give my silver medal to Carly Smithson based on her solid vocals (her performance was less than electrifying). I'm not going to go as far as Randy and say her "Shadow of Your Smile" was the best performance this week, but I can't help but feel her tepid review from Simon was due to her previous recording experience (with Simon alluding to all the "buzz" around her). It's clear they're holding this girl to a higher standard (which isn't totally unfair), so I think if someone else had given the performance she gave last night, she'd have gotten positive reviews.

All of the four I've mentioned so far should cruise to next week, and they should be joined by Alaina Whitaker, Brooke White, Ramiele Malubay, and Asia'h Epperson.

Whitaker (another person I just don't remember) will be back because her "More than Yesterday" was absolutely charming and she slyly mentioned her birthday is this week, so she should get sympathy votes. White (whose innocent likability is being played up) will stay around even though her "Happy Together" was thoroughly unimpressive — we like her too damn much. Meanwhile, Malubay's vocals were impressive during "You don't have to say you love me", but she seemed to completely failed to connect with the audience (or the song). Finally, Epperson continued to impress, making "Piece of My Heart" sound gospely. The reason I don't have her higher is because I honestly don't remember THAT much of her performance.

That leaves Kady Malloy, Joanne Borgella, Kristy Lee Cook and Amy Davis.

I've got Davis (who seemed miserable singing) "Where the Boys Are" going home — just a dreary and depressing performance. At least her hair look good. I've also got plus size model Joanne Borgella going home. She barely squeaked into the top 24 and her "Say a Little Prayer" is just something I'd rather not hear again. Hopefully, her modeling career will get a jumpstart from her appearance on this show.

That's not to say those were the worst two. Personally, I thought Kady Malloy's"Groovy Kind of Love" was just as bad as Davis' performance, but her spot-on Britney Spears impersonation has bought her another week. If only she could impersonate a good singer or be as interesting when she's using her own voice. Similarly, I'm just not convinced Cook can sing something other than "Amazing Grace". She looked terrified during the start of her "Rescue Me" and never really recovered (no one came to save her). When you start trying to pre-empt criticism by having it revealed that you're suffering from flu before you sing, good times are not ahead.

So what'd you think of this episode? Any way we can check if it's REALLY Alaina's birthday? Who was your favorite lady last night? Finally, who do YOU have going home?

John's Top 11 Movies of 2007

It's February 20th — the perfect time for me to give you my list of 2007's top movies!

Seriously though, I wanted to see as many of the late-year movies that didn't get released until the new year before the Oscars, and with the ceremony coming up this Sunday, I figured I'd already seen everything I was going to see from last year. (Stay tuned for my Oscar picks and my much-anticipated 2nd Annual Oscar diary.)

Although I've been saying that TV has surpassed movies in terms of quality, this was such a strong and deep year for movies, that I just could not contain my list to the top 10. Also, I forgot about one movie I wanted to include after I'd already compiled my original 10, so I bumped it up to 11.

Before the main event, let's get to some honorable and not-so-honorable mentions:

MOVIE I KINDA LIKED THAT NO ONE ELSE LIKED

The Invasion: Maybe it's because it was the fourth movie I saw in the theatre in a single day, so I was a little delusional, but I thought this was a mostly tight, effective thriller with an underused Daniel Craig, but a strong lead performance by Nicole Kidman.

MOVIE I KINDA HATED THAT EVERYONE ELSE LIKED

Superbad: I liked the McLovin' bits, and there were definitely some funny lines, but I just could not stand Jonah Hill's lead performance — the shrillest, most irritating work of the year. He'd just scream as loud and as profanely as he could. Also, Michael Cera has taken to delivering the same performance every single time out. Writer/star Seth Rogen and co-writer Evan Goldberg admitted that they started writing this script when they were 13 — it shows.

(DIS)HONORABLE MENTION

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry: This was the worst movie I saw this year (at least "Ghost Rider" was packed with unintentional comedy. According to this movie, gays are to be made fun of and discriminated against, until Adam Sandler feels their pain, and shows us that they're not that bad.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Michael Clayton/Eastern Promises: Both featured incredibly strong (and Oscar-nominated) leading performances which are probably career highs for George Clooney and Viggo Mortensen, respectively. I thought "Promises" supporting players were underrated, and both films were expertly directed by filmmakers (Tony Gilroy in "Clayton" and David Croenenberg in "Promises") fully in charge. Both also featured excellent nude shower fight scenes. Ok, maybe only one of the films had that last one.

3:10 to Yuma/American Gangster: It's the Russell Crowe special as he matched up against two of the very best in the business (Christian Bale and Denzel Washington). Both movies were highly entertaining but slightly flawed, falling just short of greatness.

Atonement: Solid acting, great scenery. I had issues with a major plot point in the movie, few films finished stronger this year.

Gone Baby Gone: Amy Ryan earned her Oscar nomination and Casey Affleck was an underrated lead. Ben Affleck's directorial effort also had solid supporting turns by Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman and wins the "What would you have done" award after the choice the protagonist makes near the end.

Grindhouse: The experience of seeing the two movies ("Planet Terror" and "Death Proof") together, with the fake trailers sandwiched in between was one of the most fun this year, and probably better than each movie separately.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: I'll give it it's props for adapting the longest (and arguably most beloved) Harry Potter book into a mostly tight movie that was only slightly confusing if you hadn't read the books, but thoroughly satisfying.

Enchanted: Amy Adams gave the most appealing performance this year (it's a damn shame she wasn't nominated for an Oscar), and the "That's How You Know" sequence was one of the most fun times I had at the movies last year.

THE TOP 11

11. Stephen King's The Mist: No seriously, I'm not kidding. This was the best horror movie of the year because it bypassed extensive gore (ala the Hostel and Saw sequels) and focused on characters and low-key but effective special effects. There's nothing scarier out there than when a large group of people start losing their damn minds.

10. Zodiac: One of the year's best thriller and the winner of the most disturbing and shocking death (the picnic scene). Though it drags a bit in the last third, strong performances by Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo, as well as flashy (but not "in your face flashy") direction by David Fincher still make it one of the year's best. It's really a procedural disguised as a serial killer movie.

9. Knocked Up/Hot Fuzz: Ok, so I'm REALLY cheating and putting 12 movies in my top 10, but these two HAVE to share a spot. Though they're different in style (one's a raunchy sex dramedy, the other's a hilarious action movie parody), they each have great chemistry between their two lead characters, as well as many, many colorful supporting players, and they're the year's funniest movies — even if they're each about 15 minutes longer than they should be.

8. There Will Be Blood: When I first saw it, I admired this movie a lot more than I LIKED it. The more I think about it, the more I like it. No matter what, it remains an impressive achievement by director P.T. Anderson, but I still feel like it dragged a bit in the last quarter, and that it was completely carried in sections by soon-to-be two-time Oscar winner Daniel Day Lewis and Paul Dano.

7. Once: One of the most unique movies of the year in that it mostly rewrote the rules of the musical, by having the lead characters not break into song. Instead, they organically sang to each other and naturally propelled the plot (and their growing affection for each other) forward. Although some of the music can get to be similar-sounding and the movie is thin on actual plot, the "Falling Slowly" and "When Your Mind's Made Up" are two of the most powerful sequences of the year. Can't wait to see Glen Hansard and Marketa Iglova sing "Falling Slowly" at the Oscars.

6. Juno: During the first 10 minutes, I was afraid this movie was going to quickly go off the rails with its overly quirky cute soundtrack and hipster dialogue. Fortunately, writer Diablo Cody and the underrated work of director Jason Reitman toned things down. Still, the success of this movie is in no small part due to a starmaking performance by Oscar nominee Ellen Page, who created a character for the ages — a young, smart, funny, vulnerable, scared, sarcastic girl (imagine that). Also have to mention the work of Jennifer Garner, J.K. Simmons, Allison Janney and others for injecting each of their characters with heart.

5. The Bourne Ultimatum: The best action movie of the year. It stood out if for no other reason that it chose to forsake a gigantic special effects budget and relied on terrific choreography which resulted in the best fight of the year (the climax of the rooftop shape) and the tensest sequence period (the Waterloo station scene). Matt Damon's performance was also underrated, and the ending to the movie was a perfect way of bringing things in this successful trilogy full circle.

4. No Country for Old Men: For the first three quarters, this was the most effective thriller I'd seen in years. Sure Javier Bardem is about to win his first Oscar for playing the most memorable villain in recent years, but the movie was also helped by solid turns courtesy of Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones and Kelly MacDonald. And about that WTF ending? Like most people I was completely baffled, but this movie won "The Prestige" award for movie I wanted to see again immediately after it ended, so I could try to decipher what I'd just seen. That's gotta be worth something.

3. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: Damn, if Tim Burton can't get a Best Director Oscar nom for this, I don't see when it's going to happen. He adapted one of the most beloved musicals to his signature style making a movie that was grand, over-the top and operatic, but also funny and full of genuine emotion. He also got the most out of actors (Johnny Depp, Helene Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Sacha Baron Cohen) in a musical who don't necessarily sing.

2. Dan in Real Life: Yeah, yeah, it might be a light (maybe even cheesy) romantic dramedy, but I don't care because I loved this movie. I loved me some Steve Carell (this guy can do almost anything), and it was refreshing to see a movie where the people on screen had a genuine affection for each other, even if they did tend to screw things up. I also loved the little (admittedly probably unrealistic) details like the crossword puzzle competition and the family talent show. Who WOULDN'T want to hang out with this family? I mean, this movie even made Dane Cook likable!

1. Ratatouille: When I saw it in June I thought it was the best movie I'd seen all year, and nothing I saw after it really changed my mind. The movie had tons of heart, imagination and a great message that, "not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere." (Anton Ego's speech at the end was absolutely one of the year's highlights). It was also very funny and ingeniously written and directed by Brad Bird (those sequences with Remy making his way across the human world are as expertly choreographed as anything you'll see). Who cares if it was just a cartoon?

That's it, that's my list! What was your favorite movie of the year? Also, feel free to agree with my choices or tell me how wrong I am.