The "previously on Nip/Tuck" montage of all of Matt's disastrous relationships should've been a tip off.I mean, we already knew his relationship with bombing victim Rachel wasn't long for this world. In the early part of the episode, after Matt (pictured, left) realized that his fathers would rather him date someone who's not (sorry) horribly disfigured, I was afraid Matt would fall into the same pattern we've seen a million times before — his parents warn him about his nut job girlfriends (though they're no role models themselves), but Matt angrily ignores them only to get his heart stomped at a later date.
And when it was Rachel who rejected Matt because she wasn't attracted to him, it wasn't exactly a big surprise. What was somewhat of a surprise was Matt going on the offensive for a change ("have you looked in a mirror lately"). Was this harsh? Of course. Then again, I enjoyed seeing Matt stand up for himself with a woman for a change. Also, after the breakup with Rachel became eligible to join the montage of his failed relationships, I figured that was as far as the storyline would go.
I thought that even after Matt decided on some rebound sex with Christian's patient Emme, who'd flown out from Cleveland (Georgia!) to remove a spot from her face. I should've known better than to assume it would end there, since this is "Nip/Tuck". Of course, it turned out that the reason Matt and Emme felt such a strong connection is because Emme revealed that Christian is her dad, making them half-siblings — altogether now: Ewwwww. Still, what shocked me (and delighted me) the most if that, by the end of the episode, Matt and Emme were scanning blogs about couples who are related and appeared to be willing to give their relationship a go.
I'm guessing that if you've had the bad luck that Matt has had with women lately, you'd probably be talking yourself into some light incest.
Meanwhile, as much as I enjoyed Matt's storyline (can't remember last time I said that), I was hot and cold with Sean last night. I like the idea of him becoming insecure and angry about an overly vicious TV review (a "cardboard box" head?!)from critic August Walden. Our boy's becoming more of a diva every week. However, after co-star Kate suggested the he confront the critic, things went downhill. Turns out the critic's own looks left something to be desired, and helped explain why he attacked pretty actors so ferociously. Eventually, Walden decided he wanted to improve his looks and asked Sean to do it, in exchange for a positive review. Other than the fact that none of this rang true, and was completely cliché and unbelievable, I had no problem with these events.
Once Walden showed up with his new face and was confronted by another angry actor he'd burned in a review, it didn't take a genius to see something terrible would happen to the rude critic. Lo and behold, he was burned himself, by a cup of hot coffee.
This was mostly a waste of Sean's time (you could see the fact that the critic would be a toad a mile away) and took away from his effective scenes with Kate, in which Sean and the insecure actress got to a point where they're on friendly terms again. I wonder if she's still dating that black guy she mentioned. There was only one problem — Sean forgot to acknowledge that his agent had broken into his home and attempted suicide. Just a mention would've been nice.
Christian had a mostly quiet week, though the times he was used, he was very effective. While the opening scene with him reading Sean's review was goofy, it was right that he would let Sean hear the critical drubbing he was taking, given how jealous Christian is.
Where he really shined was his breakup with Julia. In such an over-the-top show, it's nice to see two strong actors do their thing in a quiet powerful scene. Things started off over-the-top, as Julia caught Christian banging an anonymous woman. However, what followed was a sad and mature scene in which Christian admitted to himself that he realized Julia was not the perfect ideal woman he's pined over, and Julia admitted to herself that Christian is just not that deep of a guy — what you see is what you get.
Speaking of Julia, after her breakup with Christian, she went running (well staggering) back into the arms of Olivia who returned from wherever the hell she's been for the past month and a half. Olivia immediately believed in Julia's sickness and ordered some lab work, which revealed mercury poisoning in Julia's system.
From there on out, it didn't take Julia too long to figure out that Eden was the one poisoning her, and sent a piece of contaminated fruitcake to a lab to confirm it. The only problem was that the weakened Julia decided to confront the girl who's been trying to kill her all by herself. I questioned myself for feeling sorry for Eden last week because I thought she was back to her psychopathic ways and her "I love Sean" act had been just that — an act. Well, it turns out that she is a psycho AND she's doing what she's doing because she genuinely cares for Sean. The episode ended with Eden firing a gunshot in Julia's direction, one of those cliffhangers that piss you off because you have to wait a whole week to see what happened.
So what'd you think of this episode? If we're to believe TV shows and movies, are there ANY critics out there who aren't complete assholes? What's going to happen next week once Colleen comes back? Finally, is Julia really dead?
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