The Happening Review

I think M. Night Shyamalan is one of the most talented filmmakers working today and he's one of my favorites.

I believe "Unbreakable" is an underappreciated masterpiece and "Signs" would be in my top 3 Most Fun Times I've Ever Had Seeing a Movie in Theatres if I ever bothered to compile such a list. Hell, I even thought "Lady in the Water" was interesting to watch if you somehow managed not to drown in all the self-indulgence.

I mentioned "Signs" because it's the Shyamalan flick that comes closest to his latest offering, "The Happening." Both films are character studies framed by a catastrophic, perhaps otherworldly event. The main difference is that, while "Signs" was immensely enjoyable for me in theatres, "The Happening" is unbelievably bad.

I mean that — I literally could NOT believe how bad it was.

"Happening" opens promisingly enough with two New Yorkers chatting in Central Park and one of them spontaneously killing themselves. We're then shown a mass suicide by construction workers as they leap off the top of a building. Both of these scenes, which are undoubtedly striking, would have probably been more effective if we hadn't already seen them in TV commercials.

Eventually we learn the northeastern United States is under siege by some sort of unexplained chemical attack that appears to paralyze its victims before imploring them to commit suicide.

The movie follows Elliot and Alma Moore (Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel) and a small group of survivors as they elude the mysterious and deadly happening.

I'm not going to give too much away here, but that's mostly because the movie never fully explains the source of the attack — and I'm fine with that. I'm even fine with the movie's overtly environmental bent. Sure, some people may get annoyed by it, but I think showing respect for all living things is a worthy message.

The problem is that the movie is relentlessly stupid and probably features the worst acting you'll see all year.

I like Mark Wahlberg, and I buy him as a cocky porn star, as well as a foul-mouthed Boston cop. However, he is embarrassingly bad in this movie. Not only does he make for the least convincing science teacher (as well as the least convincing "Elliot") in the history of the world, but there's a scene where he gets out-acted by a plastic plant.

I'm not even kidding.

Zooey Deschanel doesn't fare much better. Sure, she's absolutely adorable, but her quirky performance looks like it belongs in another movie and seems totally off. On the other hand, John Leguizamo is the one cast member who managed to be affecting, so, of course, Shyamalan removes him from the main storyline relatively early on. Shyamalan also sprinkles in a couple of mildly amusing, but contrived "quirky" characters, like a hot dog-obsessed botanist and a crazy lady named Mrs. Jones (Betty Buckley).

Shyamalan — like his most obvious influence, Alfred Hitchcock — appears to favor intentionally stilted dialogue in acting. The difference is that Hitchcock had actors like James Stewart and Cary Grant delivering that dialogue. Shyamalan himself has found success in the past with actors like Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix and Samuel L. Jackson giving strong performances in his films. Unfortunately, Wahlberg and Deschanel just CANNOT sell Shyamalan's style in "Happening."

I respect the fact that Shyamalan always tries to produce original work, but his attempts to do so in this film fail for the most part. One example is his decision to represent the impending presence of the deadly "happening" by — a gentle wind rustling through trees and grass. I get that he was probably trying to make something you wouldn't expect to be sinister, into something terrifying, but it really just ends up looking stupid. I'm in Tampa, where it's unbearably hot — if I see a nice breeze, I'm running TOWARDS it.

And about the much buzzed-about fact that this is Shyamalan's first R-rated movie? Well, Shyamalan certainly doesn't pull any punches in showing us some gruesome deaths. However, it comes off more like Shyamalan saying "look what I can do with an R-rating" than it actually serving the story. I think it may have been more effective to show some restraint, cut away and use the power of suggestion in certain instances, but that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. Then again, I'm fairly sure the R-rating is what allowed Shyamalan to kill children.

Of course, what stops this movie from being a COMPLETE disaster is that there are a few striking visuals (the film's opening sequence) courtesy of cinematographer Tak Fujimoto, a frequent collaborator of Shyamalan's. It's also pretty funny. Of course, it's not really funny on purpose (except for Mrs. Jones, I think), but it's still good for a few chuckles. If Shyamalan REALLY wanted to score a laugh, he should've played the guy that gets eaten alive by lions.

Then I remember that this is a movie from one of the most purely talented filmmakers in America, and "The Happening" stops being funny and it gets a little sad. I'd be curious to see what Shyamalan would come up with if he directed someone else's script.

That's just one suggestion, but I'd love to hear others. Shyamalan is too good to be directing the worst movie I've seen this year.

The Happening...D