To be honest, I'm not feeling so hot right now, so forgive me if this "Hell's Kitchen" column feels a little phoned in (though I can take comfort in the fact that it can't possibly be more phoned-in than Lamar Odom's performance in the NBA Finals).Fortunately for me, there isn't that much to write about this week because, in the season's most shocking twist of all, the final four chef's actually did a really good job, prompting smiles and high fives from Chef Ramsay (in a nice change of pace from his usual garbage can kicking and banging-head-on-tables).
I was even thoroughly impressed by Jen (pictured, left) last night — just when I think she can't possibly get any worse, she puts on a pathetically fake nice-girl act and throws in some voter fraud for good measure.
Before the week's challenge, Jen smartly tried to get on her team's good side by saying she understood why Christina put her up for elimination. Unfortunately, in trying to show kindness and humility, Jen turned in the most unconvincing performance since this one.
Ramsay hyped this week's challenge so much that the chefs were speculating who they may be cooking for (really, Jen? Beyonce?!) Of course, the special guests turned out to be 80 decidedly unfamous pregnant women and the chefs had to prepare a lunch dish for them.
It's probably not good that the most appealing one to me was Petrozza's monte cristo, which really DID look (as Jen pointed out) like "a heart attack wrapped in a stroke." I would say the second most appealing to me was Corey's salmon B.L.T, but she never really got around to finishing the damn thing. Meanwhile, Jen cooked up a calypso grouper and Christina opted for and island turkey sandwich with curried avocado (eww, curry).
Corey came in last and claimed that she would've done much better if the competition were judged by men. Methinks her loss had more to do with the fact that her food wasn't ready on time. Me also thinks that she's not nearly as good looking as she thinks she is. In the end, Christina beat out Petrozza by two votes, and earned a Beverly Hills shopping spree with Chef Ramsay.
Christina's second challenge win in a row, also earned further scorn from Corey and self-proclaimed fashionista Jen, who were left behind with Petrozza to clean up the kitchen. Petrozza solidified his position as the nicest guy in the world (or at least reality TV) by refusing to dish Christina behind her back, despite the fact that he was the only one who might have been legitimately upset (because he lost by such a small margin). Also, for the second week in a row, Jen ate someone else's leftovers, which is actually like eating garbage. (If you eat something some else throws away, you're kinda eating garbage — sorry.) Also, I'm pretty sure if you eat something someone else throws away, you can't win "Hell's Kitchen" (or anything else really, except maybe "Flavor of Love").
Meanwhile, Christina and Ramsay went on a "Pretty Woman"-ish shopping spree. The only thing missing was a snooty store clerk. Ramsay also encouraged Christina to sex it up a bit and commented that she looked like Elizabeth Hurley. No offense to Christina (who is pretty and I like and I want her to win), but Ramsay must've been using the same goggles that Corey must use to look at herself in the mirror when he said this.
When Christina returned to the kitchen with a positive attitude she was greeted with a freezing cold shoulder (or maybe it was edited that way) until Nicest Guy in the World Petrozza broke the ice.
As I mentioned at the top, there really isn't much to say about the service because it was, by far, the best this season. The only noteworthy events were the fact that Jen only works hard when Ramsay's around and yelling at her (no surprise) and that Petrozza is a pig in the kitchen, but still delivers good food (we've seen this the past three weeks).
The earth-shattering moment teased in last week's previews where Ramsay burned his hand (twice!) turned out to be Christina's fault, but the good service must've had Ramsay in a mood, because this turned out to be a non-issue. Ramsay had threatened to kick the culprit out, but instead just gave her a stern talking to. Maybe he realized he should've been grabbing those pans with a rag or a mitt in the first place. I know I do that in my kitchen out of habit, even when I know a pan is safe.
Still, the goodwill ended when Ramsay reminded them someone would have to go home. The teams had to come to a consensus on two people for the chopping block. The four decided to write down the names of the two who should be up for elimination and put them in a hat. Christina's name came up three times. The only problem was that Christina didn't vote for herself and Corey said she didn't vote for her either. Since Petrozza is the nicest guy in the world, it was pretty easy to deduce that Jen wrote Christina's name twice. Nice try, genius, but if you're going to try to pull this off, maybe you should do it when there's more than four people and you're not so obviously the culprit.
Jen ended up going to the firing line along with Corey who volunteered. It was a risky move for Corey, but also the right move. If Christina or Petrozza had gone up there, I think Ramsay would've smelled a rat and maybe given Jen a(nother) free pass. While pleading her case Corey smartly brought up the fact that she's actually honest and able to work with other people, while Jen went with the "it would mean so much to me and my family" thing (sorry Jen, I'm pretty sure Roseann already used that one up this year).
Anyway, we all said bye to Jen. I can't possibly overstate how not sorry I am to see her go.
So what'd you think of this episode? Who the hell knew that Petrozza would be the last guy standing and in the top 3 after his "I'm done" meltdown? Who do you see winding up in the final 2? Finally, is there ANYONE worse than Jen?
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