American Idol: Scream On

If you guessed that one of the Idols would NOT be able to resist the urge to try and tame Aerosmith’s "Dream On" during Rock Week, congratulations - you were 100% right.

However, if you’d bet your money on Adam Lambert - who seems perfectly capable of going toe-to-toe (or howl-to-howl, actually) with Steven Tyler - I’m sorry for your loss.

Actually, it turned out to be OUR collective loss after Danny Gokey’s BEYOND hot (not to be confused with "molten hot") mess of a performance.

Of course, the thing everyone is going to focus on the day after is the scream heard ‘round the country (pictured, right, which Simon accurately described as something out of a horror movie). Still, I think that unfairly ignores how brutal the rest of the performance was. (Wonky beginning! Scatting! He missed when he tried to scoop a note!) The show’s editors even seemed to take pity on him (and us) and CLEARLY used the scream from his dress rehearsal during his end-of-episode recap package.

I’m no Danny-hater, but I can certainly see how people become infuriated with him after his "what me, sound bad?" reaction, and after the judges slipped on their kiddie gloves to critique him. They uniformly gave him an A++ for effort (when did this turn into Little League?), though I think an A for degree of difficulty would’ve been more accurate. The bottom line is that he picked a song that was all wrong for him, tried to out-Adam Mr. Lambert, and came up embarrassingly short. If this is who the judges are pimping for the final two against Adam, then it’s not really going to be much of a finale. Additionally, he pretty much undid all the good he did last week.

All that being said I fully expect him to be back next week. You know why? (other than a slavishly devoted fan base that has made him the only contestant not to visit the bottom 3 ALL SEASON) This performance was monumentally bad. That is to say, it was MEMORABLY bad. It’s all anyone is going to be talking about after last night. I’m sure I’m not the only AI recapper to lead his/her column with Danny Gokey. Bad press is better than NO press even if your performance is so bad that it’s kind of funny. (I literally laughed.)

Then again, it probably won’t be so funny when Kris Allen gets sent home Wednesday night.

The poor guy just did NOT have a good night right from the very beginning when the show awkwardly sprung the news that, for the first time, finalists would be singing duets and we were "treated" to Kris and Danny’s version of "Renegade" (brought to you by the two least renegade-y guys left). Though I DID like their harmonies, the rest of the performance was awkward (what to do with those mic stands?) and chemistry-free (did they even look at each other?). Still, the most painful part was Simon declaring that Danny was better (better = louder?) as Kris looked visibly pissed off.

So what better time to have him do his solo performance of "Come Together." I thought he started off kinda slow, but ultimately I really likeD how he finished the song, and I appreciated the subtle stylistic differences he brought to the performance. (Though I still prefer Carly Smithson’s take on the tune from last year.) However, he just didn’t seem as comfortable up there as he has been in previous weeks and it crept into his performance. The entire time he was singing, it seemed like he was already bracing for the unfair reviews that were sure to come. (And come they did.) (Who am I? Yoda?) Though he hasn’t come close to throwing in the towel, he’s starting to get the Jason Castro "There’s just no way I’m ever, EVER going to please Simon and convince these people I’m a star" Face.

It would’ve been easy for Allison Iraheta to get the same "TjnwIeEgtpSactpIas" Face after weeks of critiques that had less to do with her singing and more to do with her wardrobe and (alleged) lack of a personality. However, she seems to have gotten her second wind.

Sure her take on Janis Joplin’s "Cry Baby" wasn’t her best work (it was actually a slight letdown given the girl’s voice and the night’s theme) but it was still rock solid. Still, I’d say the best part of her performance was her finally striking back after more undeservedly lukewarm reviews. The reason she didn’t come off as a Mini-Lil Rounds is because this is the first time she’s really struck back after weeks of unfair (and often irrelevant) critiques from the judges. On top of that, (unlike Lil) her work on the Idol stage has actually earned her enough currency and credibility to defend herself up there. However, I’d advise her to ease off that stuff next week.

And yes, I’m saying she’ll be back next week for sure, thanks, in large part, to a big-time assist from her duet partner Adam Lambert. The two obviously had a blast during their duet of (the thumpingly-repetitive) "Slow Ride." They were so good, that the song actually seemed beneath them and I kinda wished they’d sung something better. My favorite part was still the genuine big-brotherly hug that seemed to signal to Allison (and to us), "Come join me in the finals."

Before that, Adam Lambert perfectly played the part of rock star during his take on Led Zepplin’s "Whole Lotta Love." I think this will go down as one of his more underrated performances, but make no mistake - he made a very difficult song seem very easy. I WAS actually going to call it one of his more understated performances until that glory note at the end (I should know better - there’s ALWAYS a glory note with this guy), but even as far as Adam’s glory notes go, I wouldn’t put it in the top 3.

I also wouldn’t go so far as to call him a "rock god" (as Kara breathlessly panted). Yes, he showed last night (again) that he’s in a class all his own in this season of Idol, but that doesn’t exactly put him up there in the pantheon of ACTUAL rock gods.

So what’d you think of this episode? Could Adam’s pants have been any tighter during his duet? How dorky was Kara’s blatant attempt at a "rock and roll" outfit? What’d you think of Slash as a mentor? (He’s a man of few words, but I like how direct he is) Do you think Adam should try to make more contemporary music or bring old-school glam back? Finally, who do you think is going home? (I’ll actually be pretty surprised if it’s Danny. I think it’s going to be Kris.)