Hell's Kitchen: And the Winner Is...

Now THIS is exactly why you don’t judge a book by its backwards hat, F bomb-loving cover. (I know it’s "Hell’s Kitchen" dude, but I lost count after about 18 bleeps.)

After a season finale that was every bit as good as last week’s episode was boring, a new chef joined the newly-formed "Hell’s Kitchen" Wall of Fame.

More importantly, part 2 of the two-part finale delivered the goods in a way that showed us a flicker of how good this show could be when it’s not manipulated for drama within an inch of its life. It helps a great deal when you have two worthy competitors that were still locked in a tight race by the end of the evening. I honestly did NOT know whose door was going to be unlocked.

I won’t lie though - I was worried in the beginning when the hour threatened to turn into The Lacey Show.

Obviously, Lacey was this year’s recipient of the dubious title of "Chef No One Wants On Their Team." The problem with The Lacey Show is not only that Lacey herself is spectacularly annoying and a major downer to have on your team - we also have to sit and listen to her teammates whine about how spectacularly annoying and what a major downer she is.

It really is a chicken and the egg situation. Lacey claims she’d have a better attitude if people just treated her better. However, why should people treat her well if she’s always acting like a beast? I tend to side with Lacey just being too beastly to handle since, whenever Ben or anybody else tried to sit her down and reason with her/stroke her ego, they were met with an eye roll. I mean, what the hell does she want from these people?

During prep, Lacey had trouble making Paula’s banana crème brulee, and generally seemed to occupy most of Paula’s time, who was apparently on babysitting duty.

Chef Ramsay tasted each of Danny and Paula’s menu items. I loved watching Ramsay give firm, helpful advice to the two contestants. Don’t get me wrong, I love to see the guy blow a gasket as much as anyone, but I also like to see that balanced out with his paternal side. Paula seemed receptive to his advice, while Danny seemed stubborn about several aspects of his menu. Apparently, he WANTED to serve a pear that was too hard and he was ok with presenting a phallic onion.

After that, Ramsay examined each of the finalists’ remodeled dining rooms. To me, Paula was the clear winner with her tasteful, elegant design (even if the soft lighting from the way it was photographed was hurting my eyes). Danny, on the other hand, decided to go with the name "Velvet Hammer" (Ben thought it was a porn name, I still say it sounds like a pimp’s name - either way, it’s not good) and generally had a tackier restaurant. Nice job by Ramsay with the backhanded compliments. ("It’s country - it’s very you.")

The dinner service rolled around, and Danny took the early lead by engaging his team and doing a better job in exuding authority. It also helped that Andrea was completely crapping the bed (AGAIN!) in the fish station, causing Paula’s team to fall behind. I still do NOT understand for the life of me why Paula made her the number one pick. (I would’ve gone with Giovanni.)

Then again, Gio didn’t exactly shine during the dinner service, over-seasoning the garnish and admitting that he didn’t really want to be there. This attitude recalled his last week on "Hell’s Kitchen", which was filled with a bunch of "I’m too old for this s---" talk. Oh well, at least the blonde streak was gone, making his hair look 80 percent less stupid. Carol also set Danny back temporarily by not cooking the lobster properly, but the problem was quickly fixed.

Over on the red kitchen, Andrea continued to struggle, Lacey felt left out and began to struggle too. Fortunately, Paula began taking command of the kitchen. (I liked Ramsay’s eyes light up when this happened.) Eventually, the team regrouped and started rocking the dinner service.

The problem was that Danny’s team hit its stride too, and actually finished the dinner service before Paula’s. She tried to not act dejected and was encouraged by Ramsay who preached the importance of quality over speed. (Turned out he was just trying to create drama - and it worked.)

After the dinner service, Ramsay (and I) wondered why the past contestants couldn’t cook this well for him. (Apparently, it’s because they’re spirits weren’t constantly being broken last night.) After a lame fakeout, he sent Paula and Danny away as he reviewed the comment cards. After a short while, he called them back to his office and let the winner walk out of the office door that is unlocked.

I wasn’t really surprised that it was Danny, but I was a little disappointed because Paula had become my favorite. I don’t remember her ever embarrassing herself on the show (unless you count faux-flirting with Jean-Philippe) and she never seemed to get caught up in the red team’s drama. Paula kept it real.

Still, I can’t argue with Danny being named the winner. To me he was a little cocky and stubborn at times, but those are probably qualities Chef Ramsay really admires in a young chef. Also, why would he cry about his mom at the end and NOT name his restaurant after her? Despite all that, he excelled throughout the competition.

So congratulations Danny. Obviously, I feel like a massive idiot for predicting you had "No Chance at winning" after your first week. (Though I still stand by the comments I made at the time I made them.) Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go try to remove my foot from my mouth.

So what’d you think of this episode? Why does Ramsay’s office have two doors? Which past winner were you happiest to see? Finally, did Ramsay get it right? (I’m 0 for 3 this week - I wanted Annie Duke to win "Celebrity Apprentice", I wanted Allison to win "Top Model" and I wanted Paula to win "Hell’s Kitchen.")