America's Next Top Recap: Bye Bye Birdie

For the first time all season (I mean all CYCLE), I had absolutely no idea who was going home.

Heading into panel, I honestly would not have been surprised if any of the four remaining girls was sent home based on how relatively drama-free their photo shoots were - a minor miracle considering they were in the jungle and the fact that the feathers were literally flying - and how much Tyra was talking up all of the girls afterwards.

But let’s talk about the rest of the episode before get to the ending.

The weekly "Lesson That Is (At Best) VAGUELY Related To Modeling" took the girls to Paulina, who was in a dance studio with a samba instructor. I was actually looking forward to this challenge since dancing DOES make people more aware of how their bodies move (helpful in photo shoots AND on the runway) and because the samba rocks!

Well, at least the real samba, as opposed to the simple little beginners’ routine these contestants still couldn’t quite master. Allison expressed concern (when ISN’T she concerned?) because she wasn’t a natural dancer. Celia still had trouble relaxing. Teyona was much worse than anybody (Paulina, me, Teyona) imagined. Aminat did the best by far and, in typical Aminat fashion, made sure that we knew it.

As a result, she was the favorite heading into the actual challenge, a rooftop samba with a male dancer in which the girls would have to also give Paulina usable model poses. Allison, once again, was charmingly brutal. Teyona was just brutal (as in the capoeira challenge from a few weeks back, she forgot that she was supposed to be modeling too). It came down to Aminat and Celia, with Celia getting the win (and more then $7,000 in jewelry) thanks to her ability to fake confidence. A helpful note on her wrist to "Relax" also contributed to the win (How amusingly uptight is she that she leaves herself a note to relax?)

Celia had the opportunity to choose a friend to share the reward with, and she picked her buddy Allison. Aminat (and Paulina) displayed surprise that Celia didn’t share the reward with the challenge’s runner-up. I call BS because there’s NO WAY Aminat would’ve shared the reward with Celia if she had won. (By the way, could the house have been MORE divided along racial lines, with Celia and Allison on one side, and Aminat and Teyona on the other? Subtle work from the editors there. NOT.)

Then again, that may just be my Aminat bias talking. I can see that the girl has the stunning LOOK of a model, but I don’t think she has any idea what to do with it. What’s more, (and the editors are probably to blame for this) I get annoyed when Celia is shown saying something very complimentary about Aminat and the rest of the girls, while Aminat is constantly shown putting the other girls down. I realize this isn’t "America’s Next Top Best Friend", but you’re still ALLOWED to be gracious.)

Of course, there’s a reason the expression is, "Nice guys finish last." Or in this case, "Nice girls finish fourth."

This week, the girls were woken up early, driven to an (allegedly) remote portion of the jungle, made up to look like birds and photographed by Tyra. Highlights from the shoot included Tyra almost twisting her ankle (I know it’s mean, but the thought of her holding court during panel in crutches is kinda funny to me) and Tyra saying that one of the girls had an "outer body" experience.

As far as the girls were concerned, they all did pretty well. Once the "best shots" were revealed during panel, my favorite was Allison (pictured, right and the best by far, and the only one who looked like a bird) and it was pretty clear she’d be safe.

The rest seemed more like generic, hot-model poses. To me, Celia and Teyona’s pictures were a bit of a draw (Celia’s body looked a little better, while Teyona’s had the edge with her facial expression). Aminat, on the other hand, had an interesting-looking picture, but (once again) I thought the face was kind of horrible. I have no idea why the judges liked it.

I thought the bottom two would be Aminat and Teyona (and so did Teyona, apparently), but it turned out to be Celia and Aminat . Celia was making her second straight appearance in the bottom two, while Aminat was there for the fourth time overall. Since, Aminat is infinitely more model-looking than Celia, I wasn’t surprised by the outcome.

The judges just couldn’t get over Celia’s advanced age (models get their AARP cards at 25, apparently) and all but completely discouraged her to give up modeling and try instead to become a stylist (which actually might not be a terrible idea).

Goodbye Celia. I’ll miss your kind, likable personality, your awesome sense of style, and the fact that your elimination means that, once again, my Ridiculously Early Prediction to Win it All (which I made after the first episode) didn’t come true.

So what’d you think of this episode? What did they do to make smoke come out of that jeep during Tyra’s entrance in the episode? (That entrance was TOO crazy and contrived, even for Tyra.) Do you speak "bird" like Ms. J? How funny/touching was Allison's blubbery face after Celia was eliminated? Finally, who do you like in the finals? (I’m rooting for Allison, but I don’t see how she can possible do well in the season-ending runway show.)