American Idol: The Big Easy

The first episode of “American Idol” with Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez established that (for better or worse) this was going to be a kindler, gentler judges’ panel.

Unfortunately, the shockingly low amount of quality singers in New Jersey with the true potential to be the next “American Idol” that advanced to the Hollywood round made them look like even bigger softies than they already are.

Fortunately, the second audition episode in New Orleans delivered more budding “Idols” in one hour, than Jersey gave us in two. (This, despite filler segments heavy on footage featuring swamps, riverboats and, um, swamps.)

Even the bad auditions/clowns were mostly and mercifully confined to mere montages of atrociousness. The only true failure I can really remember is the Mick Jagger lookalike with the pillow lips who actually didn’t even sound that bad. (His main problem was that he was completely ridiculous.)

Also, like the first episode, the hour ended with a sob story in the form of Paris Tassin. Paris enjoys singing to her adorable daughter Keira, who has to wear a hearing aid. I thought her version of “Temporary Home” was actually pretty rough at parts (especially in the beginning). The biggest thing in her favor was that she connected with her song more than anyone else I’ve seen this season. If she can continue to do that, she might be ok. (Obviously, a singer doesn’t have to be technically perfect to be an effective artist.)

Still, arguably the best part of this segment was when J.Lo stopped by to say hi to Baby Keira after Paris had advanced to Hollywood. That coat La Lopez was wearing was the hotness!

I’d put Jacquelyn Dupree a not below Paris for her competent, tepid rendition of “I’ll Stand By You”, which I immediately forgot as soon as she started singing. But hey, her uncle was Randy Jackson’s football coach, so by all means, “Welcome to Hollywood!”

As for the following five singers: I honestly see top 20/12/10 whatever potential with each of them.

I can easily see people rallying behind the well-conditioned Brett Lowenstern, the teenage “outcast” who delighted the judges with his clear, lovely rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” When a male singer has a high, girly, lilting singing voice, they don’t usually also have a high, girly, lilting singing voice too, so that was interesting. I can just as easily see him collapsing under the pressure in Hollywood, as I can see America rallying behind him.

I have a harder time imagining America rallying behind beefcake Jovany Barreto, who absolutely had me in his corner after a fantastic rendition of a Luis Miguel tune, but he absolutely lost me when he accepted his friends’ dare and took off his shirt in front of the judges. Come on, Jovanny. You’re not Bikini Girl! You’ve actually got the goods. (No, not THOSE goods!) You don’t NEED to disrobe to get attention. Most alarmingly, your display led to Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson flashing us as well. (Ugh to Randy Jackson’s lower stomach.) I also thought it was kind of interesting that Jovanny was obsessed with Jennifer Lopez….’s husband Marc Anthony.

Then again, I can see Jovany being the token Hispanic singer who gets eliminated during the first week that America votes.

Meanwhile, the most memorable thing about 28-year-old Sarah Sellers may be that she could potentially be Steven Tyler’s lovechild, but I wouldn’t sleep on her. I thought her fantastic version of Bob Dylan’s “Make You Feel My Love” was confident and soulful in a way we haven’t seen with so many teenagers getting so much screen time. In fact, Steven/dad(?) told her that she was through to Hollywood the moment she laid eyes on him (huh?), but recovered by saying, “Mostly, I like your voice.” (Well then.)

I also thought Jordan Dorsey, piano and vocal teacher, definitely radiated star power during his version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, even before he decided to “change it up.” Not bad for the first singer in last night’s episode. I thought he was cool and confident, but I can see him being perceived as cocky, so that’s something to keep an eye on.

Finally, there’s Jacee Badeaux (pictured, right), one of those darn kids I was talking about a few paragraphs ago. Of course, you could bring on as many teenagers as you want if they’re going to deliver performances as delightful, assured and tuneful as his take on “(Sittin’ on) The Dock of the Bay.” (I probably could’ve done without him pointing at his watch as he sang, “…Wasting time.”) I can absolutely see America rallying behind him and pushing him to the top 12.

In fact, he was so good that I felt absolutely horrible for making the joke in my head about how he looks and sounds like he ate Justin Bieber. Thank goodness I didn’t say that out loud.

(No need for stinging comments…I’m well aware that I’m a horrible person.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Who’d win a middle-aged rocker shirt off-off — Steven Tyler or Brett Michaels? Did you see any potential “Idols” in New Orleans? Finally, is this “American Idol Camp” we heard about last night just taking people’s money?