Desperate Housewives: Frank Talk

I missed last Sunday’s episode of “Desperate Housewives” partly because of the Golden Globes, and mostly because of a “Rock Band” marathon with friends.

Since everything that needs to be said about this episode has already been said (assuming people still actually talk about this show), here are my quick hit thoughts:

- Not a great last few months for Eva Longoria (not Parker). First her husband (allegedly) cheats on her with a teammate’s less-attractive wife (among others), and now she has to pretend like she’s obsessed with a doll on her day job.

Fortunately, the show is acknowledging the ridiculousness of this storyline by having Mrs. McCluskey point out to Carlos that Gabby is cuckoo. Unfortunately, I still fully expect the emotional/ludicrous carjacking scene from the end of the episode to be the Clip of the Week on “The Soup.”

- Ok, I’ll admit it. I laughed out loud when I saw that doll in a car seat.

- Anyone else disappointed Mrs. McCluskey didn’t actually follow through and attend that tea party with Gabby and Princess Valerie before talking to Carlos. Also, $800 for a doll?!

- I feel like Gregory Itzin (the great Charles Logan on “24”) was both overqualified and misused on this show. His crotchety Dick blew Teri Hatcher’s Susan off the screen and, like his character, he was generally a downer. (Seeing his face light up when he thought he was getting a kidney was good work.)

- In a related story, this show officially has absolutely no idea what to do with Teri Hatcher.

- I’ve been wondering if Brian Austin Green was going to be part of this show for the long run. We got a resounding “Hell no!” last night, after former girlfriend Amber showed up with the news that Keith has a six-year-old son he doesn’t know about.

Whether it turns out to be Keith’s son or not (and we have no reason to believe it isn’t) is beside the point. What matters is that Bree decided to keep his son’s existence a secret out of fear of losing him. When (not if) Keith finds out, it’s going to be over. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Sorta.

- The show has been playing up this “Who Shot Paul Young?” angle, so who better to bring on as a guest star than Larry Hagman (pictured, left), the center of the iconic “Who Shot J.R.?” mystery which inspired the lesser, current storyline.

I’ll be damned if I didn’t laugh at Frank, his racist/inappropriate character, who Lynette’s mom Stella (Polly Bergen) was marrying for companionship after claiming she just wanted his money.

- I recent that remark about real men not eating salads. How dare you, sir?!

- The fact that Renee has been longing for a daughter all these years came out of nowhere (I guess she was pining for that when she wasn’t busy pining for Tom), but at least it gave Vanessa Williams her own storyline independent from the rest of the main cast.

Plus, she got two great moments when she told Bob and Lee that if their daughter ever called her “Old Auntie Renee” she would kick her, and when she made a kid riding on the sidewalk fall down just by glaring and putting up her hand after bragging about her maternal side.

- Ok, so we know that Paul knows that his wife Beth is Felicia’s daughter. Was his plan REALLY going to be to just take her out to a remote cabin and kill her? Really, Paul? You’re going to kill your wife WHILE the police are snooping around trying to figure out who shot you? You don’t think it’d be a little suspicious if your wife turned up dead. Come on, Paul! You’re better than that.

Thankfully, it looks like Paul recognized the gun the police showed him (that Beth found in Bree’s house) as the one that Mary Alice used to kill herself and was presumably in the possession of his son, Zach Young.

So what’d you think of this episode? Where exactly is this allegedly sketchy part of town that we haven’t really seen before? (I’m guessing Amber’s motel wasn’t too far from there.) Will Gabby see Princess Valerie again? (Will he ask for ransom?) Finally, so, um…what happened to the halfway house on the block?