Jersey Shore: Roger That!

For the second week in a row, “Jersey Shore” pulled a slight bait and switch on us. (How tricky of you, “Jersey Shore”!)

Last week’s episode probably should’ve been about Sammi finally declaring a cease fire on Snooki, Deena and the rest of the house/world…except for J-Woww. Instead, it ended up being the Snooki Happy Drunky Fall-Down Hour.

This week’s episode looked like it was going to be “Intervention: Jersey Shore” with Snooki coming out of jail and vowing to stop drinking after her father ripped her a new one and threatened to take her home.

Not only did Mr. Polizzi not follow through on his threat (was anyone else curious to see how tall he was?), and not only did Snooki — in a shocking twist! — already start finding ways to break her vow (if Pinot is good enough for pregnant women, it’s good enough for Snooki), but the episode actually ended up being all about J-Woww.

More specifically, the episode focused on her inevitable breakup with Whiny Tom (his official name) and her reconciliation with Roger (That), who quickly endeared himself to the rest of the cast by bringing juiceheads for Deena (who was underwhelmed) and Snooki (who was so whelmed she s--- her pants.)

To be fair, it’s completely possible that Tom has gotten a bad rap on the show. I tried to call him this morning to get his take on things, but he started bitching about why I didn’t call him last night, so I hung up on him. Then I remembered that he’s not a member of the cast, so I don’t really care whether he’s getting a bad rap or not.

After calling Snooki’s dad following her arrest (hopefully, she’s washed all the sand out of her inner-boob), J-Woww tried to call Tom for some comfort, but once Tom found out that Snooki had been arrested “today”, he started wondering why J-Woww didn’t call him last nig…whoops, we just hung up on him. He tried to call back, but J-Woww was having none of it.

Later in the episode, he tried to re-endear himself by calling and asking if his girlfriend was there or if he was talking to bitch with the bad attitude (oh Tom). Unbeknownst to Tom, the worse he acted, the better Roger looked in J-Woww’s eyes, especially since turned out that he did NOT have a girlfriend after all (probably) and that J-Woww’s friend confused him with someone else in the previous episode. My favorite part about the scene where J-Woww broke up with Tom over the phone was that the rest of the cast started off by making jokes (“Roger that!”), but by the time J-Woww hung up and walked away crying, they’d stopped in order to support and comfort their friend. I was also impressed by a scene earlier where Pauly D (who is fantastic and my favorite character, but rarely gets very deep) told J-Woww that she seemed happier with Roger when she asked for his advice.

Whether all of this show or some of this show is scripted, and whether or not these people actually get along with each other, they’re all in this crazy, tequila-soaked ride together!

J-Woww would need that support later on when she rushed home because Tom (Vick?) had apparently left her dogs to fend for themselves in the house they shared. On top of that, he may have stolen her treasured watch, a hard drive (possibly containing those compromising photos that were in the news a few months back) and…something to do with Pay Pal.

One person not offering his support was Ronnie, who tried and failed to make the “pot calling the kettle black” analogy with him and J-Woww in regards to their infidelity. So if you’re scoring at home, Ronnie is actually equating J-Woww sitting in a club and having a conversation/dancing with her ex-boyfriend (which is all she’d done up to that point) to his triple kisses and assorted debauchery in Miami while stringing Sammi along.

If only we could replace Ronnie without anyone noticing. Turns out Vinny and Pauly had the same idea when they spotted wingwoman Deena dancing with Ronnie’s stunt double/evil twin named Dean. (Dean and Deena, Snooki/Nicole and Nick…what was going on last night?!)

Obviously, they had no choice but to bring “Ronnie” home (he was already going to go in the hot tub with Deena) and try to slip him into bed with Sammi to see if she would notice. Twist! It turns out Ronnie knows “Ronnie”, and “Ronnie” also has a girlfriend named “Sam.” That didn’t stop “Ronnie” from claiming he was single and cuddling with Deena all night long.

This led to the funniest part of the episode (besides Pauly saying to Snooki, “I just hope prison time didn’t change you): Vinny and Pauly started riffing on last year’s anonymous letter fiasco by threatening to write one to “Sam” and letting her know about “Ronnie’s” tryst with Deena. The best part was their suggested use of a thesaurus and their idea to use 10-dollar words like “in lieu of…” Ultimately, they decided it’d be a violation of girl code.

So what’d you think of this episode? I know they work at a T-shirt shop, but wasn’t J-Woww ready with that “Free Snooki” shirt a little too quickly? (Or maybe she had it made during season 1 for when Snooki inevitably got arrested for public intoxication.) If you were voicing J-Woww's boobs, what would you make them sound like? What was The Situation up to in this episode? (Dancing with the "Stars", perhaps?) When is Danny the Boss going to hang out with the crew? (Oh wait, he’s the one person this show who acts like an adult, so never!) Finally, is being in jail more of a phenomenon or a train wreck?