NFL Week 7 Picks

Man, I'm barely getting by (7-6 week, 50-39 overall) here like the New England Patriots barely get by in all their games. Oh wait, they've won each won by at least two touchdowns so, bad example. At least I can pick the Patriots and the Colts to win on most weeks, so I'm good for one or two wins each time out. Read on to see if I'm foolish enough to mess with that formula.

TENNESSEE @ HOUSTON
Two (lower-tiered) AFC South rivals battle it out. And Vince Young battles it out with the Madden curse. Whether Vince plays or not, I like Houston at home mostly because I saw Tennessee up close against the Bucs and was not really THAT impressed (although it DOES take two teams to put together a game that boring and non-descript).

BALTIMORE @ BUFFALO
After a bye week and coming off a big Monday Night wi…,oh crap, Buffalo lost that game. This game is the front-runner for the coveted "Titans/Bucs Memorial Most Boring Game of the Week" award.

TAMPA BAY @ DETROIT
Now this should actually be a pretty interesting game. Detroit has a much-improved offense (which should flourish in that dome) and the Bucs defense is also much-improved (and their speed should also translate favorably indoors). I'm not going to pretend this is anything other than a shameless homer pick.

ARIZONA @ WASHINGTON
Just when you think Washington is going to break out, they lay an egg. On the other hand, the Arizona Cardinals are majorly screwed after losing their top two QBs (Tim Rattay will get the start). They're almost as screwed as an actual cardinal would be in the dessert.

SAN FRANCISCO @ N.Y. GIANTS
"This Guy's Lackluster Season Is Killing My Fantasy Team: Part I" starring Frank Gore of the 49ers. Also, this is week 7, so it'll be two more weeks until the second half of the season, when the Giants traditionally go in the tank.

ATLANTA @ NEW ORLEANS
Of course, after declaring that I was done with New Orleans, they go to Seattle and win (huh!) They should be able to beat Byron Leftwich, Joey Harrington, Chris Chandler or whatever other mediocre QB Atlanta wants to throw out there in the Superdome. Come on, Saints, give the people of New Orleans something to cheer about!

MIAMI @ NEW ENGLAND
If you've ever watched NFL Countdown with Chris Berman and Tom Jackson, there are a few games each year with a heavily favored team playing a terrible team who you would think has no chance, then, dramatically, Berman will say "that's why they play the game." All that being said, Miami has no chance, and I think they should not show up, forfeit and not play the game.

KANSAS CITY @ OAKLAND
Obviously by calling them the worst team in the league, I motivated the Chiefs into first place of their (crappy division). Still, I'm riding the Oakland train one more week, but if they lose again, I'm off!

N.Y. Jets @ CINCINNATI
"This Guy's Lackluster Season Is Killing My Fantasy Team: Part II" starring Carson Palmer. I'm taking the Bengals because, although they're almost as bad as the Jets, at least Cincinnati can score. The Jets can't do anything.

MINNESOTA @ DALLAS
It's SO tempting to pick the Vikings after RB Adrian Peterson exploded last week (and Dallas' defense isn't anything to write home about) and the Cowboys got embarrassed by the Patriots. It's VERY tempting, but I'm just not going to take a Tarvaris Jackson-led on the road against the best team in the conference. That's just not something I'm going to do at this point.

CHICAGO @ PHILADELPHIA
"This Guy's Lackluster Season Is Killing My Fantasy Team: Part III" starring Cedric Benson (pictured, top right). That's a hell of a trilogy. I mean, at least Gore and Palmer appear to be trying, whereas Benson looks absolutely lifeless and like he doesn't give a damn. Hmm, which underachieving team that I had in the conference finals will win this game? I'll take the Eagles at home because, although their offense is improved, they don't seem able to stop anybody. And I don't think they'll stop Donovan McNabb.

ST. LOUIS @ SEATTLE
If I call St. Louis the worst team in the league long enough, will that propel them to the top of the division (see Chiefs, Kansas City)? Probably not. They're THAT bad.

PITTSBURGH @ DENVER
I keep talking and hearing about this great homefield advantage the Broncos allegedly have but the Chargers (from San Diego!) and the Jaguars (from Jacksonville, FLORIDA!!) have gone north and kicked their ass this year. Also, the fact that Pittsburgh LOVES to run the ball, and Denver CANNOT stop anyone from running the ball will lead to bad times for the Broncos.

INDIANAPOLIS @ JACKSONVILLE (upset)
Why oh why am I going against one of my two sure things each week? Because the Colts are slightly beat up, they're not playing in that dome (where they're impossible to beat) and Jacksonville always, ALWAYS plays them tough. Look for a lot of MoJo Drew running the ball down their throats.