Dancing with the Stars: Danke Shame

Ok, it's 7:30 p.m., and I've just worked 11 hours, had a sandwich for dinner, and I'm trying to bang out this recap before all the TV stuff tonight (including the DWTS results show that I never watch). I apologize in advance if I forget details or "celebrities" altogether. And I apologize for all the tpyos J

Then again, let's face it: if I forget to mention someone, that probably means they're pretty lame. In fact, I'm feeling a slight malaise with this season. Actually, I'm not really feeling anything this year and I suspect that probably has something to do with this crop of celebrities. They're just not famous/interesting enough. Even for this show! I propose ABC puts on a "Celebrity Dancing with the Stars" with people that are really stars.

I realize a lot of the charm is watching these D-listers REALLY try to win this thing, but I just don't care that much so far. I mean, five couples scored 21 last night. Hardly anyone is standing out!

This despite a very, very solid quickstep (my least favorite dance on this show) from Scary (or Lady) Spice, who continues to be one half of my favorite couple along with Maksim. I wonder if the etiquette coach was real or just an actress? I didn't think that job really existed, I thought it was just something in movies like "A League of Their Own."

Other favorites for me included Helio Castroneves' mambo, which was good, but not quite "straight 9" good. Partner Julianne Hough does a great job of concocting a flashy routine to cover for her partners' shortcomings (here it was a lack of hip action.) Speaking of good routines, my award for most improved goes to Marie Osmand, who (as my girl Erica pointed out) benefited from a simple, but entertaining routine from partner Jonathan Roberts. I think Donny Osmond is STILL flipping out over it. Jane Seymour continued to impress in another entertaining routine, a (too proper for the judges) mambo. Mostly though, she looked great and had to deal with having a snake wrapped around her. Ick.

Still, the best dancer of the night was Sabrina Bryan who was actually better this week than last. On the other hand, I actually understand what Len (aka DANCMSTR) was trying to say when he told her that dancing has different tempos. Sabrina looks like she's going 200 MPH every time (though, in her defense, she was dancing QUICKstep)

Least improved goes to Floyd Mayweather who slouched his way through his quickstep, but who got pity from the judges after they treated him WAY too harshly last week. Jennie Garth's routine was pretty rough as well, ending in a tumble as she attempted to slide between her partner's legs.

Then there's the Cameron Mathison/Albert Reed/Mark Cuban trifecta who are entertaining to watch, but don't have a chance in hell in winning. Though Mathison improved the most this week, Reed has the most potential because the judges seem to have an irrational dislike for Cuban, who IS a little too scarily into this. Still, he DID shave his skeezy goatee, which I'm convinced was costing him a couple of thousand votes.

Finally, the less said about Wayne Newton (pictured, with partner Cheryl Burke), the better. He's just brutal. Like Cheryl's outfit last night.

So what did you think of this episode and this season in general? Am I the only one that's surprised people don't fall on this show more often like Jennie Garth did? Do you feel sorry for Wayne's partner Cheryl Burke? I don't fully feel bad for her because she's had GREAT partners so far. She was due to get a clunker. Finally, who do you have going home? My money's on Cuban, though I would personally send Wayne Newton or Jennie Garth home.