American Idol: Chikizie Does It

Well, thank God for Kristy Lee Cook. (There’s an expression I never thought I’d say.)

On a night where a few front-runners stumbled and a couple of under-the-radar contestants established themselves as serious contenders, the reason I’m thankful for the half robot/half human Cook (actually, it’s more like half robot/half awful) is because her country take on "Eight Days a Week" was so horrendously hideous that America has a CLEAR choice to send home after the first week of this season’s finals.

Seriously, that performance was the hottest of hot messes. I sometimes appreciate how Ryan looks out for contestants after unfairly harsh reviews from the judges, but I was annoyed last night after he tried to pin the disastrous results from countrifying the Beatles on Simon. When Kristy said she’d be doing country this week, I thought it was a smart decision because she kinda sucks and the "country vote" has been very powerful in past seasons. But I’ve gotta believe that there’s a way to countrify the Beatles songbook without making it sound like a weird polka performance from hell. I’m hard pressed to think of a worse finals performance. Also, I swear that I wrote in my notes that it seemed like something you’d hear in a terrible state fair before Simons said it two minutes later.

I’m sorry to have to lead with that because, other than a few missteps, I really enjoyed last night’s Beatles-themed episodes and even possibly maybe sorta started believing that his year’s crop may actually be as talented as advertised — at least when you’re talking about 1 through 11 (sorry Kristy).

If anyone non-Kristy person is in serious trouble of going home, I’d say it’s Syesha Mercado. She obviously wasn’t nearly as bad as Kristy, but she picked a tricky song ("Got to get you into my life"), was incredibly nervous during most of her performance and, as the first contestant, was pretty forgettable after two hours.

I would say that Ramiele Malubay (so SHE’S the one who pours the soy sauce into the little cups) is in trouble of going home, but I think she’s got one more week of uninspired disconnected singing before all the goodwill she’s built up goes away. Once again, her vocals were decent (at "Pussycat doll" level, according to Erica), but her performance of "In my Life" could rival Lunesta as far as sleep aids. Also, the standing on the stairs thing was kind of pointless since she ended up lifelessly walking toward the front center stage anyway. The most interesting thing about her performance was Randy’s reaction when he was asked if she’d done enough to stay another week: "I don’t know man that was pretty boring." Sorry, but she’s just not very interesting.

She wasn’t the only one who had trouble navigating Idol’s new spiffier, bigger stage. Unfortunately, David Hernandez felt the urge to try and cover every inch of the new digs during a spastic performance of "I Saw Her Standing There." When watching it, I couldn’t quite figure why I didn’t like it. Sure, as Erica and Randy pointed out (in that order), David H. was trying to do too much with his vocals, but when Simon called his performance "desperate", it was exactly the word I was looking for. When a big dork like me thinks you look dorky, you must be doing something really wrong. The biggest disappointment was no mention of his, um, stripperfic past during the interview segment on his pre-"Idol" life — unless, of course, pizza bistro = gay club when talking about his days as a server.

Since I have to talk about Michael Johns I will. I don’t have anything against the guy, but so far his singing is just meh. His "Across the Universe" was a nice bounce back after two vaguely train-wrecky performances. Still, he’s going to have to step things up.

Also, I apologize, but I’m just not feeling Amanda Overmyer. I know what she’s going to sound like (growly, angry and stompin’ on the floor) and look like (unnecessarily overdone and scary for a pretty girl) before she hits the stage. Also, every performance (this week it was "You Can’t do that") is merely a variation on the previous week’s. I guess she was ok this week, but I can’t get too excited. In past years (especially last year) I would’ve been happier to have someone like her in the competition. Unfortunately, her distinct style is not as necessary a changeup with this year’s talented finalists.

Why don’t I talk about that talent, since all I’ve done so far is complain?

I’ve gotta start with my man Chikizie (pictured, right) who made me look like less of a fool than I usually look. I’ve called the guys one of the top five vocalists in the competition and he delivered last night, not just vocally, but with a hip electrifying performance that no one could’ve seen coming. How could we after the tomato-red suit, and his easy R&B stylings. I liked the Marc Broussard-style opening (thanks for the name Erica) and I loved that he ended up rocking out. I’m not saying he’s a front runner (there’s still work to do), but coming into this week, I would’ve picked him or Kristy to go home — now I think he’s bought himself one or two weeks.

I also really enjoyed the work of Brooke White and Carly Smithson. When Brooke announced she was singing "Let it be", I kinda rolled my eyes, because it’s kind of overplayed. However, after being informed by Erica that it was perfect for my voice, and seeing Brooke’s emotional, engaging performance, I had to agree. Brooke is one of the smartest contestants (song choice, wardrobe, performance) I’ve ever seen on an "Idol" stage.

Carly, on the other hand, has been stronger vocally in the last two weeks, but during "Come Together" I saw her really having fun for the first time. It made her more appealing, which is important because, up to that point, I think people just sort of appreciated her as a great vocalist, but weren’t really able to put their arms around her. It was also, good to see "Come Together" taken a less predictable direction than the growly Amanda would’ve taken it.

Jason Castro could use a little more unpredictability. Again, he was solid vocally and performance-wise (but not as good as past weeks), but he seems to be stuck on a vaguely-melancholy, guitar-strumming, goofy grin loop. He’s right in his wheelhouse, but I’d like to see him change things up slightly (ala Brooke sitting at the piano).

I didn’t quite dig David Cook as much as the judges did. His "Eleanor Rigby" was solid. Actually, the last third of his performance was solid (the rest was questionable), and I was a little startled to hear Simon say he’s got a real chance at winning. He would know more about than I do, and I like David C., but I think he’s got more work to do vocally.

As you can see, like the show’s producers, I’ve saved the prime final slot for David Archuleta. The little guy came into the night as the show’s darling and the overwhelming favorite to wi (insert sound of needle scratching on record). Man was his performance brutal. I would say it was actually the second worst of the night (behind you know who). There were missed notes, forgotten lyrics. Even David knew he crapped the bed. At least, to his credit, he manned up and took the criticism instead of getting snippy, though you have to wonder if he can handle the more upbeat songs he’s sure to have to sing in the future. I bet he wished he hadn’t sung "Imagine" two weeks ago.

So what’d you think of the first episode of the finals? What’d you think of the fabulous new stage and graphics?! (Umm, I didn’t really notice too much of a difference other than the graphics being slightly crappier and the band being on the second level.) More importantly, who do you think is going home?