Dancing with the Stars: Skate Expectations

After a thoroughly entertaining, but uneven debut for the men of "Dancing with the Stars" Season 6, their female counterparts took to the dance floor.

Near the beginning of each DWTS season, I think the women tend to have a slightly easier time because they’re being led by professional ballroom dancers (whereas the men have to, at least, appear as if they’re actually leading a pro dancer). As a result, I’d say the women had an overall stronger showing than the men. Too bad none of them can win.

Apparently, Olympic gold medalist Kristy Yamaguchi (pictured, with partner Mark Ballas) didn’t get that memo, as she came out and racked up a 27, the highest first-dance score in the show’s storied history. She was far and away the best female (and maybe the best overall contestant). She was incredibly sharp throughout her foxtrot with Ballas (who kinda looks a bit like an adult version of Shia LeBeouf).

Her awesomeness really shouldn’t come as any surprise given her figure skating background (giving her valuable performing and musicality experience), but she still surpassed my expectations. There’s no word on whether she surpassed my girl Erica’s sky-high expectations for her, since Erica is a huge early 90’s figure skating/Yamaguchi fans and expects her to do great things in this competition. I see her being the token female in the top 3, and probably losing in the final to Jason Taylor.

Now that I got my ridiculously early prediction out of the way, I’ll get on with the rest of the show.

While I figured Yamaguchi would be good, I had NO IDEA Priscilla Presley would be anywhere near as good as she was. She’s obviously going to have to work on her technique a little more, but the "most mature woman" (oldest) in the history of the show exhibited some natural ability and a flair for portraying a character, which was the biggest shocker for me, since I was convinced she couldn’t actually move her face.

I’m still a little scared to see her attempt a Latin dance, but it’s a good sign for her that she has Louis van Amstel as a partner, who will push and challenge her (trying something called a "death spiral" during the first week) with ambitious routines. I also cracked up at the fact that Louis was checking himself out doing dance moves in front of a mirror when Priscilla walked in.

In addition to Priscilla, I was also surprised by Marissa Janet Winokour — the only difference is that I’m surprised by how bad she was. Ok, maybe that’s a little harsh because it’s not exactly her fault that her partner Tony Dovolani (who after Jane Seymour and Leeza Gibbons must be thrilled to have a partner under 50) choreographed a cha cha cha routine that was about 15% cha cha cha. Still, she needs to tone down, well everything. She’s seriously challenging Steve Guttenberg for the title of "superfan", but she’s letting her hyperness creep into her dancing. Right now, she’s like a less good Sabrina Bryan.

I thought Monica "El Stiffo" Seles would be one of the more awkward contestants and it turned out to be true. The best parts of her fox trot were the beginning and the end — when she wasn’t really dancing. Right now, this girl just can’t dance (her partner Jonathan Roberts’ look of hopelessness during rehearsal was priceless). Still, I think she’s got potential (even if she doesn’t) to get better if she really wants to, and I think her reasons for entering the competition — she never got to be a girly girl because she was too busy traveling the world winning Grand Slam tournaments — will appeal to viewers.

That’s actually why I like her chances to last past next week more than Shannon Elizabeth’s. I mean, Shannon obviously did a better job than Monica last night, considering that, like Monica, Shannon is just not a natural dancer (how many times are we gonna hear the word "tomboy" from her?). Still, as her partner Derek Hough smartly pointed out "beautiful girls seem to go home early." I mean, honestly, why would another woman want to vote for Shannon (especially after she decided to not wear pants)? Her dancing was decent at moments (notably the sharper movements), but she’s not a very fluid dancer. Carrie Ann was right in that she could eventually become a threat if she worked on her flexibility.

Last, and certainly not least there’s Oscar winner Marlee Matlin. Like the show last night, I saved her for last (producers knew viewers would want to see how the "profoundly deaf woman did). And here’s the big revelation — she was pretty decent. Not great, not terrible, just pretty decent. I’d put her a notch or two above Shannon. Of course, the fact that she’s even performing in this competition is remarkable, and I loved that her partner (newbie/ Latin stereotype cartoon character Fabian Sanchez) threw in a solo for her where her back was turned to him. The judges claimed they wouldn’t give her the kid gloves treatment, but I don’t think they’ll have to worry about as much as they did with Heather Mills. I expect Marlee to get better as the competition goes on.

I also like how her translator is always there and shows up out of nowhere. He'd make a solid ninja.

So what’d you think of the female celebrities? Who was your biggest surprise and disappointment? Who do you think will be the first to go home? Finally, what was worse (or is it better)? The band’s rendition of Rihanna’s "Shut up and Drive" or Flo Rida’s "Low".