So with "Top Model" being set in New York City now, I expected photo shoots and challenges at the usual places: Times Square, the Washington Bridge, Walmart.Really, "Top Model"(?!) Walmart is the place where you take your contestants for this episode's makeup challenge? (which Claire won) To be honest, I didn't even know there were any Walmarts in NYC. Then again, I guess that's pretty much the only place that would be open at 5 a.m., the time you woke the models up because they need to be ready at a moment's notice.
Up until last night's episode, I wasn't really feeling the contestants this year. The most interesting thing about this cycle had been the addition of Paulina. But last night, I started caring about contestants other than the ones that have been showered with excessive screentime.
I'm talking about you, Fatima. The African passive-aggressive wonder struck again after the girls received apple bottom jeans and she remarked that Allison's ass looked particularly big, but that was ok because she was a bigger girl. Allison got visibly upset and responded, "say that to the anorexic girl" before storming away. Apparently, Fatima didn't get the memo that Allison was anorexic. Actually, I didn't get that memo, since I'm pretty sure this is the first time that's come up.
Later, Allison exacted her "revenge" by playing with a black and white doll, and stuffing the white doll's butt with paper. Apparently, that wasn't enough, so, as the black doll/Fatima, she basically implied that Fatima (and black women in general) like to take it up the, um, backdoor. This was so ridiculously out of leftfield and unnecessary that it actually made Fatima look sympathetic. I mean, where did that come from? It reminded me of that episode of Seinfeld where George had a big comeback ready for an annoying guy ("The jerkstore called and they're running out of YOU"), and when the guy brushed it off, he resorted to ("Well, I had sex with your wife!")
Oh yeah, did I mention that this was makeover week? Usually, this is a major event in a Top Model season, and I knew it was coming from the previews, but it didn't feel like that big of a deal last night. That's probably because the girl's were surprisingly receptive to their new looks (which Tyra smartly kept secret until the big reveal). Only Fatima (surprise) teared up, but even she ended up liking her Iman-like new look.
The highlight for me was the square "Tyra Vision" box with the host giving her kooky commentary (and imitating a horse). I wish I had the "Tyra Vision" option on certain DVDs. You can't tell me you wouldn't turn that feature on while watching "Casablanca."
I thought the makeovers themselves were overwhelmingly good. My favorites were Fatima, Whitney, Marvita (sporting the Tyra-invented horse mane weave) and Katarzyna. My least favorites were Claire (pictured, right, in the middle of her makeover and whose shorter hair makes her look manly, I actually like her original haircut a lot more), Anya (who my girl Erica rightly pointed out looks like an alien), and Dominique (who looks like a mom).
This week's photo shoot had the contestants modeling Elle McPherson's lingerie line on a boat with the New York skyline in the background. McPherson herself showed up and instantly became everyone's favorite person because of her helpful advice. I'm guessing that's a veiled shot at Paulina last week who told models they looked like a tranny or too "High School Musical" without really offering any help to fix the problem. The feeling was mutual, and Erica even started a running joke that it seemed like Elle McPherson would definitely go gay for the contestants.
My favorites shots this week were courtesy of Lauren (I like the awkward pose, and she's like a worse version of last cycle's awkward Heather) and Marvita (hella fierce), and Katarzyna, who's clearly not afraid of sticking out her booty. I know in actuality it's not a good high fashion shot, but it's still one of my faves. Even Erica acknowledged that it was like the John Ceballos special. The worst were Allison (completely dead in the eyes) Dominique (not a good job with her lower body) and Fatima (who, Erica rightly pointed out, didn't move her legs too much because she's probably super duper conscious about the lower half of her body as a result of her female circumcision).
Other than imploring Nigel to feel her ass, the judging panel was mostly uneventful. Well it was mostly uneventful unless you're Allison and you refuse to say "thank you" after Tyra "compliments" you by saying your looks is a lot softer and prettier after the makeover. Allison, who didn't sort of look like Sarah Silverman anymore after the makeover, kept talking about all the experience she had, but it turned out to be too much experience, as she overpracticed before her shoot. Her time in front of the camera DID yield my favorite exchange during the photo shoot: Photog (to Allison): "Are you cold?" Mr. Jay: "No, she's posing."
It came down to Allison and Dominique, with Allison (and her dolls and crappy attitude going home). I was rooting for Dominique to stay because, despite the mom haircut (which Tyra vowed to alter), I think she has more potential. Also, the producers allegedly made a special slot just for her in the final selection during the premiere, so it'd be kind of a waste to get rid of her so quickly.
So what'd you think of this episode? In this competition, is it worse to look like a tranny or a mom? Isn't the new "Tyra Mail" delivery method awful? Where the hell did Allison get those dolls? Finally, what was your favorite and least favorite makeover?
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