Dancing with the Stars: Ladies First

After the second week of Season 6 of "Dancing with the Stars" — and the first week with all 12 couples performing on the same night — I’m forced to reconsider a few things.

Maybe a woman CAN win this show after all. The ladies’ certainly stepped up their game last night, and I see four women with the potential to go far in this competition.

The best bet is obviously Kristi Yamaguchi, who came out and delivered another incredible strong and sharp performance. The editors tried to throw us off the scent by showing Kristi "struggling" to learn how to shake her groove thing, but she came out and delivered another lively and on-point mambo. That’s two straight sharp performances, and you just know she’s going to perform the hell out of the slower-tempo numbers because of her figure skating background. Most of all, I think she can win because, unlike other front-running "hot girls" in this competition, she’s got a YOOOGE female fan base from her skating days.

Also maintaining her momentum from last week (albeit to a much smaller-degree) was Priscilla Presley, who came out in a cougary outfit to do her mambo. Her dance wasn’t as good as last week — it looked like she actually screwed up or fell behind a couple of times, though that could’ve been by design. I’m actually gonna go with "she screwed up", which is ok because I think she’ll be much more suited for ballroom rather than Latin dances. Mostly though, as my girl Erica pointed out, she’s not just happy to be in this competition — she actually appears dedicated to trying to do well.

A pair of quickstepping ladies REALLY stepped up their game and convinced me that they deserve a spot in the competition for the next few weeks.

The only thing I liked more than Marlee’s (pictured, right) deceptively simple explanation about how she hears music — it’s being in the shower with the door closed and hearing music in the next room — and the look on her face in that picture above, was her surprisingly good footwork during the quickstep. I thought she was strongly decent last week (can you hear me holding back on using the word "good"), but after this week, I think she can really dance, and deserves to go far in this competition based on that merit instead of the kid glove treatment you’d think she’d get from the judges and even fans. Also, Henry "The Fonz" Winkler was in the audience to support her! A quick IMdB check tells me that she was married in his backyard (Random!)

Still, I have to give the "Most Improved" ribbon to Shannon Elizabeth. Coming into this thing, I thought she’d be more suited to the Latin dance, but, thanks largely to partner Derek Hough’s fun, creative routine, she looks like a natural ballroom dancer. She REALLY needed that performance because, since I don’t think Monica Seles is going home, Shannon was going to be my pick to be eliminated.

Instead, I have to go with Marissa to go home. After the most emotional rehearsal package I can remember (especially considering we’re just in week two), she delivered a decent, but unspectacular quickstep that actually suited her spazz-tastic nature (I liked the beginning near the stairs, and the end part where they spun away from each other), but, quite simply, was the fifth best female performance of the night.

Monica Seles, God bless her, is trying, but the girl just cannot dance. She tried to cut loose to some En Vogue, but scored a 15 for the second week in a row. And that’s only because the judges have obviously reached some secret agreement to not give out anything lower than a "5". All that being said, I think she’ll be around next week because her rehearsal packages are endearing and I think people want to see her dance well once. Unfortunately, I just don’t see it happening, and I think the most compelling thing about her is how much she looks like Celine Dion now.

So I’ve got four legit contenders on the women’s side, with Kristi having a strong chance to win. Unfortunately, I think she’s destined to join a list that includes John O’Hurley, Stacey Keibler, Mario Lopez, Joey Fatone and Mel B. — arguably, all the best dancers in the their respective years and all watched someone else hoist the awful crystal ball trophy. As my girl Erica astutely pointed out, the best dancer never really wins.

So, hello Jason Taylor! I actually though the judges over scored his mambo a bit last night (he seemed a little stiff with his solo movements), but he still looks like he’ll be a very good Latin dancer. Also, any deficiencies were covered up by Edyta’s characteristic lack of clothes and her electric and charismatic choreography, which recalled a Cuban nightclub (or at least "Along Came Polly")

The other strong contender on the men’s side, Mario, actually improved his score from last week, even while inexplicably wearing a sleeveless tuxedo jacket with a shirt fashioned from a scarf (ala Project Runway’s Carmen’s Tiki Barber outfit) during his quickstep. Unfortunately, all the votes from women who are into hot black guys are going to Jason, so I’m picking him as the "Sabrina Bryan Award" winner to go home WAY before his time. At least he got to hang out with Karina at the beach. I mean, if she’s not interested in indulging his obvious crush, why take him to the beach? Let Carrie Ann have Mario, seeing as how her assessment of his dancing was basically: (babble, stutter) "You’re hot!"

Whereas two women stepped up from last week, a couple of guys took significant steps backward.

Sure, Cristian improved his posture with the help of his military uniform (hokay), but he still hasn’t clicked yet. I love the pros’ random training tactics — it’s like, "you need to work on your flexibility, so I’ve brought in an anaconda for you to observe." I don’t know if it was him or partner Cheryl’s choreography, but she appeared to dance circles around him during their quickstep. I’m getting a vibe from him that he knows he’s good enough to coast right now without really trying or bringing it (which is probably true), but I still hope he picks it up soon.

Steve Guttenberg on the other hand remained as likable as ever, even while his mambo was a limey green (Steve) and sherbet (Anna) disaster to a song that sounded like "Mambo 4" (good one, Erica) Honestly, it was like watching an utterly delightful train wreck. Still, anybody who can claim that this show makes the world a better place and NOT come off like a nutcase is doing something right. (Excellent job by Tom with his quip about "changing the world, one low score at a time") Also, I don’t know if they’re both single or attached, but Steve should DEFINITELY hook up with Anna’s mom/ "Police Academy" fanatic. Imagine if Guttenberg had actually been in "Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow."

The other major thing I’m not so sure about last night is that Adam Corolla is going home.

It’s not that he wowed us with his dancing. In fact, he seems to have given up trying to dance well, and is just out to entertain, which he did last night wit his "mambo". Jimmy Kimmel was there to support him, which should be good for an extra eight votes, but if Julianne had kicked him in the face as she almost did near the start of the routine, that would’ve netted the couple an extra thousand votes. Still, I’d put money on him to go home, since I still don’t see him winning over any new fans with his humor and his "Mitch" explanation for calling Carrie Ann a bitch was weak. In that instance, a sincere apology would’ve probably been the best thing, but, to her credit, Carrie Ann handled herself very well.

Mostly though, I’m not so sure that Adam is going home anymore because Penn has become so damn annoying. In addition to actually being a worse and clumsier dancer than Adam (Penn’s big feet + quickstep = disaster), his constant interruption of the judges and attempts to be funny are really grating. He’s making Adam seem low-key by comparison. At least we got the first voodoo doll-assisted performance in the show’s history.

So what’d you think of this episode? When (if ever) will Kristi see an "8"? Was Penn REALLY kidding when he tripped going up those stairs after leaving the judging panel? I’ve got Adam and Marissa going home — who ya got?