America's Next Top Recap: Gladiatrix of the Trade

While I've often complained that this latest cycle of "Top Model" has been relatively boring in terms of the contestants personalities and the weekly photo shoots, I thought last night's episodes was one of the best.

Then again, whenever you can incorporate sword-fighting gladiators, a healthy does of Tyra's brand of crazy and ornate renaissance paintings into the same hour, you figure you're in for an eventful episode.

The episode started with an inexplicably cocky Fatima declaring (to the audience at home) that she had no competition based on her strong performance during the Cover Girl commercial shoot last week. As disastrous as that challenge was, I wouldn't exactly be bragging about being the best of that bunch (it's kind of a like being the tallest midget in the world).

We also had the return of crazy, delusional speaks-in-third-person Dominique. When the women were presented with the gladiatorial challenge — in which they learned five basic moves and then took on the mighty Fernando in an impromptu photo shoot — Dominique expressed a lot of enthusiasm, especially at the prospect of whooping Whitney's ass. She quickly added that she was joking (but we all know she really wasn't).

I actually enjoyed Dom in this episode more than any other this season. She wasn't picking any petty fights with any of her competitors and her delusions about how great of a model she is actually worked in her favor — she appeared to have no idea how little Tyra and Co. think of her "Top Model" prospects, which allowed her to cut loose and do some good work.

Speaking of cutting loose and doing good work, that's precisely what Whitney did during the first half of the episode. The challenge was to apply the fighting techniques they'd learned and incorporate strong model poses, and Whitney did just that, cutting a strong figure, while not being afraid of showing her stomach. More importantly, I didn't hear her start a single sentence this week with "Being a plus size model." (Unfortunately, she was replaced by Katarzyna's, "The judges have told me I'm boring, so.")

Anya (as usual) also did a very nice job during the shoot, while Katarzyna appeared to be dragging her sword and Fatima had her body completely turned the wrong direction (even after Mr. Jay told her precisely not to do that). Then there was Dominique, who struck high fashion poses while intentionally leaving out the fighting techniques they'd learned. I liked it. It was completely wrong, but I liked it. At least it was interesting.

The challenge winner came down to Anya and Whitney, with Whitney (finally) taking the prize (a shopping spree in Rome), but deciding to share it with Anya (I guess it DOES pay to be nice to other people, as Anya has). So even when Anya doesn't actually win challenges, she still reaps the rewards. She's so dominating right now.

Still, the thing I probably liked the most about last night's episode was that, for once, the editing did NOT give away at all who was going home. Heading into the main photo shoot (photographed by Mama Tyra), you would've thought that Fatima (and her cocky attitude) and Dominique (and her insanity) were the most at risk.

Of course, it turned out to be Katarzyna (Paulina nailed the fact that she has sleepy eyes), and Whitney (who, according to Tyra was stuck in a breast and booty rut) in the bottom two. To me, it looked like she'd pulled her hamstring or something.

On the other hand, Anya struck a terrific pose, and looked like she was right out of a painting, while Fatima's fluid movements impressed Tyra and contorted torso excited Ms. J more than anything else I can remember.

Finally, there was Dominique, who Tyra admitted she was not excited to shoot, and came on set looking like Cruella DeVille. Fortunately, Dominique worked her photo shoot and probably produced her best shot to date. It would've been even better if she hadn't killed most of that goodwill with her tragic red shirt and tights combo at panel.

As is the case with pretty much every reality show, the more boring contestant was eliminated and Whitney survived another week in her hopes of becoming the first plus-size model to win this show. It's too bad, because I thought Katarzyna was a very good model. Still, after two bottom-two trips in a row, Whitney seemed a little discouraged last night, and I hope she has enough left to make it to the finals. (If not, I'll finally get to use the "Fat Chance" headline I've been waiting to use for the column after her inevitable elimination).

So what'd you think of this episode? What was the point of having Ms. J at the first photo shoot? (Honestly, what did he add?) Did you (like Fatima) occasionally forget that Katarzyna was on this show? (I have to admit, I'd forget too sometimes) Does Tyra really realize that French and Italian are not the same language? More importantly, who do you have being eliminated next week and falling just short of the final three?

I've got Anya (a lock), Fatima (I think she's going to win this thing) and Whitney in the top three. Even though Dominique's coming on strong, the judges just don't like her, and she's just as likely to follow up a good showing like last night's with a complete meltdown.