Hell's Kitchen: Where's the Beef?

On Hell's Kitchen last night, we found out that revenge is a dish best served cold. And while you're blindfolded and/or wearing a chocolate mask.

That being said, my feelings towards this season of "Hell's Kitchen" have been decidedly lukewarm over the past couple of weeks. Is it possible I miss People Magazine's Sexist-iest Man Alive Jason or mini-chef/big hat Craig?

I mean, this episode featured plenty of what I asked for which was more "Ramsay screaming at the chefs" action. He even threw in a "shu-tit-down!" for good measure. (Although it's been too long since I heard a "donkey!")

The bottom line is that this group of people is just not very interesting to watch. The women, especially, are particularly ho-hum. Other than Corey and her nearly-weekly and mumbled "f---" during elimination, the women are incredibly boring — and that's even with Shayna gone!

So I can understand now more than last week why the show went to such ridiculous lengths to keep Matt and his crazy eyebrows around. The producers also decided to build the Matt vs. Ben rivalry and place it in the annals with Yankees vs. Red Sox (and Tom vs. Jerry, I suppose). Maybe it was just me, but I didn't really think Ben (pictured, left) was the only guy who'd singled out Matt and wanted him off the blue team, but Matt was just full of irrational behavior last night and his desire to kick Ben's ass (as misguided as it was) actually appeared to help.

The next morning, Chef Ramsay prepared three meals for the chefs and asked them what was missing in each. Despite Louross' insistence that it was always salt and pepper, the answer was that none of the meals had any real meat in them. None of the chefs got it. Petrozza came the closest, while Matt, um, did not, by saying one meal tasted like cat (which I'm sure he'll incorporate into his next puke-tastic recipe).

The episode also featured the annual blind taste test that I'm completely sure I would overthink and bomb if I ever had to do it. Fortunately, that task as left to the blue team after Louross and executive chef/general Bobby failed to identify one of their six combined foods.

This set the stage for an epic confrontation between Matt and Ben which was unbelievably anti-climactic. The red team (no longer the women) had built up a huge lead and all Matt had to do was not screw up. In the end, both men identified the same number of ingredients in one dish and the women earned a spa reward in Hell's Kitchen's patio (that just sounds funny). I actually liked this reward a LOT better than the lame stuff they've given the chefs the past couple of weeks.

During their reward, the women didn't exactly warm up to Matt, all but telling him that, if they lost, he was going home and that they really didn't want him on their team. Matt didn't help matters by saying he didn't mind being called a woman, as if that was something to be ashamed of. The good news is that I can continue to refer to the red team as the women now.

After sarcastically being served tea by Ben (who almost broke the sarcastic-o-meter) the dinner service was under way.

Roseann, as usual, was a disaster in the beginning and made me wonder why she wasn't fired last week. On the men's side, Louross struggled with the eggs that were to go on the appetizers slowing the men down.

Fortunately, he was overshadowed in the sheer incompetence department by Matt who couldn't cook any of the meat to save his life and had a mini-mental collapse when Ramsay started yelling at him (while Matt laughed in the background and made snarky remarks). Neither Ramsay (nor I) were buying Ben's comment that he wasn't used to the "brigade system," since that's what they've been doing for almost two months now on this show.

Since the men were bombing so badly, Ramsay appeared to struggle for reasons to yell at the women to make things seem a lot closer than they were. To that end, he threw one of Roseann's undercooked pieces of meat at Matt and said "sue me". He also yelled at Jen and shattered her confidence for reasons I honestly don't understand. I would've much preferred if Ramsay had caught Matt making one of his snide comments about Ben and the men and ripped him a new one.

Mostly though, he had great things to say about Christina's cooking of a steak and Matt making the best risotto ever (?!) at "Hell's Kitchen".

Needless to say, the women won the service and Matt could barely contain his glee during elimination. Personally, I find it hilarious (and a little sad) that Matt actually appears to believe the men are suffering because he left their team when the reason they're struggling is because they're a horrible team.

Ben made a "Survivor"-style effort to save himself by suggesting everyone nominate Louross because — well, I'm not really sure why. Fortunately, it appears that Petrozza has a soul and he refused. It also turned out that Petrozza has a heart because, instead of going along with the plan to vote once for each member of the team and arrange for a tie, he voted for himself and put himself on the chopping block.

Fortunately, Ramsay saw through this, complimented Petrozza on his class and fired Ben anyway, rather quickly. To me this was a shame, because I thought Ben was actually one of the more talented cooks this season (which is SO not saying much). Also, I liked seeing his description of "Electrician/Former chef" — that cracked me up for some reason. In the end, it's probably better that he's gone before Ramsay's constant tormenting drives him to the loony bin.

So what'd you think of this episode? Are you surprised none of these people have ever sued Ramsay? (Then again, maybe they have, though I'm pretty sure they have to sign releases) Did you enjoy watching Matt get his "revenge" (I have to say, I like watching him better when he's struggling — that's why he's on this show, right?) Finally, is that really someone's finger getting severed in the previews for next week? (Ewwww.)