Lost: Cabin Pressure

I consider myself to be a relatively intelligent person, but there's just no way I can even pretend to understand most of what went down during the last episode of "Lost."

That being said, I'll still do my very best in what will probably turn out to be my shortest recap ever, unless I decide to ramble on and on. Like I'm doing right now.

When I found out that "Cabin Fever" would focus on Locke, I was a little skeptical. We finally found out how he got paralyzed and it appeared to me there was nothing new to learn about the character.

So, instead, we were taken WAY back into Locke's past into the night in the 1950's (judging by the music and wardrobe choices) where he was born three months premature to a 16-year-old named Emily, who insisted he be named "John" (a fantastic choice). What was interesting about this scene is the way it mirrored Ben Linus' birth in "The Man Behind the Curtain" from last season, with Ben's mother Emily (hmm) insisting the baby be called Ben right before she died giving birth to him.

Richard Alpert, the ageless wonder from the Island played by Nestor Carbonell, appeared to take an interest in Baby Locke and reappeared in his life a few years later to give him a test. To be honest, this was the scene that made my head explode. Richard suggested John had special abilities and might be eligible for his institution. He gave him a test, asking him to pick out which of the items belonged to him — already. We all assumed it was the knife, right? Well after flirting with the compass and what appeared to be sand, Locked chose the knife, which not only disappointed Alpert, but seemed to make him angry.

"The Man Behind the Curtain" wasn't the only past "Lost" episode revisited last night. I just happened to watch Season 1's "Walkabout" this past week (the one with the big reveal about Locke's disability). When I have 45 minutes, I sometimes pop in a random ep of "Lost" sue me. Anyway, when teenage John turned down a "science camp" offer from Mittelos Science (the company that Alpert represented when recruiting Juliet), and his guidance counselor told him he couldn't be the quarterback and the prom king, I rightly predicted the next words out of Locke's mouth would be "don't tell me what I can't do."

We got a more direct reference to "Walkabout" when the deliciously creepy Matthew Abaddon turned up in Locke's rehab facility after his injury and urged him to trek to Austrailia for the walkabout (thus, in actuality, urging him to end up at the Island).

Since I'm still picking up the pieces of my brain from last night's episode, what I can obviously gather is that the Island has been calling out to Locke for a very long time (probably longer than anybody). And, conversely, Locke was having some Island-tastic visions (note his drawing of the Smoke Monsters). For some reason, he wasn't ready to go to the Island when he was a boy, or a teenager (or the Island wasn't ready for him to come). I'm not sure why he was finally deemed able to go to the Island. Was it because his faith was so shaken after his injury? Was it because the Island was under some threat (maybe Widmore) and needed Locke to be there?

All I know is that every episode of "Lost" should have at least one scene with Lance Reddick's Abaddon. No more, no less.

I would also like it if Sayid and Desmond weren't stranded on the freighter for the better part of a month (in real time, I mean, though who knows how long they've been on there in "Lost" time). Seriously though, ever since "The Constant", Desmond hasn't done anything, and Sayid hasn't fared much better.

I didn't really care for the scenes on the freighter. I liked the subtle reminder that Michael can't be killed just yet (though Keamy certainly tried) and we finally got to see how the ship's doctor got his throat slit.

Still, I'm not really too thrilled with the fact that Keamy — who took over the freighter after killing Capt. Gault and is on his way to firebomb the Island or something — is getting all this screentime in favor of people like Sayid and Desmond. I just don't care about this meathead mercenary.

Back on the Island, Locke, Ben and Hurley continued their search for the cabin. Locke was guided by a creepy dream featuring Horace Goodspeed, the man responsible for bringing Ben to the Island. How weird was it that he appeared stuck in a loop? We found out Horace was the one who built Jacob's cabin and, after revisiting the mass Dharma Purge grave and Horace's remains, Locke had his roadmap to the cabin.

The scenes between this trio were my favorite thing of the night. I liked Hurley pointing out that they were probably the three craziest people on the Island (though Ben is crazy like a fox), and I liked watching the big guy share his chocolate bar with Ben towards the end in a silent scene.

Mostly though, I liked the interplay between Ben and Locke (some of the best stuff on the show) with Ben banging home the point that Locke was becoming the new Ben. Not only did he now appear to be the Island's go-to guy, but Ben even pointed out that Locke was picking up Ben's manipulative tendencies. Finally, even though I should know better, I believe Ben when he says he wasn't the only who ordered the purge. However, I was still a little disappointed because last night's episode wasn't the usual Emmy-worthy acting clinic Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson usually put on when they're together.

Anyway, when Locke finally arrived at Jacob's cabin, he found — a clean-looking Christian Shephard sitting on the chair (where the heck was Jacob?). Since Locke doesn't know Christian is Jack's dad, Locke was more puzzled than terrified — until he saw Claire smugly and creepily sitting in the corner, insisting he keeps her whereabouts a secret. This only adds to the speculation out there that Claire is really dead, but mostly succeeded as a supremely chilling little scene.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot — the way for Locke to save everyone is to move the Island.

*boom* Lost!

So what'd you think of this episode? Are Locke and Ben half-bros? Given that time-traveling has been brought into the "Lost" fold since we last saw him, is Alpert ageless or just traveling through time? What the heck WAS that thing on Keamy's arm? Finally, how would YOU go about moving an Island?