America's Next Top Recap: Award-Worthy Performances

It doesn't happen very often, but every once a while, Tyra takes off her crazy hat for a little while and actually teaches the girls in this competition something.

Ok, so Tyra never really takes off her crazy hat, and when she does she replaces it with an inexplicable black hoodie at the judges' panel. I know she explained why she was wearing a hoodie, but I still don't understand. Still, it's always cool (and a little startling) to see this ridiculous mess of a show actually try to teach somebody something.

Of course, lest you think the show's going straight (not true in ANY sense of the word), Tyra's session to give the girls their signature looks yielded such gems as "rebel ice skater" (like Tonya Harding?), "Hunchback of Notre Dame" (as opposed to "Hunchback of Northwestern? We get it, Marjorie is French) and "Top Model of the World" (I got nothin').

The girls posed for 20 frames while getting critiqued by Tyra, who would then tell them what they needed to work on. This proved especially helpful for Analeigh, who was still trying to find her niche and who no one in the house apparently considered a serious contender. This exercise should've also proven helpful for Lauren Brie, but unfortunately she hadn't yet realized how bland she is. Well, at least Sheena noticed, calling LB "translucent and bland, like her hair", without seeming to realize that "translucent" and "bland" don't mean the same thing.

Turns out the photo shoot was also the week's challenge and Marjorie took home the prize for improving her hunchback pose from over-the-top and ugly-ugly, to ugly-pretty. The reward was a trip to a diamond jewelry store where she and a friend would get an item for free. Marjorie brought Analeigh along, seemingly sensing a fellow contestant's low self-esteem.

Back at the house, drama came in the form of Elina's confession that her Russian mom (who we know she hates) didn't exactly encourage displays of emotion. Last week, I asked if Elina could do anything other than "smolder" in her pictures and, while that question still stands, we gained some understand of why she seems stuck on neutral this week.

The girls traveled to the Orpheum theatre in downtown L.A. where Mr. Jay acted as a sort of ringmaster. Since the show has done the circus freak thing before, I knew they were headed in another direction. Another clue was that the episode was called "Fiercee Awards," named after the made up awards Tyra gave out on her (equally excellently terrible) talk show.

In fact, the girls would be reenacting signature moments from award shows. If they were smart, the girls would also incorporate their signature poses.

My favorites this week were Analeigh (I hope I haven't had that look on my face while interviewing someone — good job with her arm too) and Marjorie (the deserving challenge winner, who contorted her body beautifully and never forgot her face). Joslyn bounced back well with a pretty picture, but unfortunately she has no chance to win, so I don't think I'll invest too much time in her (I don't want to be disappointed.)

The worst of the bunch were Lauren Brie (who DID have a tough assignment, but still didn't do anything) and Samantha (I think even I might've looked pretty standing up there, but I still like her).

Elina was supposed to be an overly emotional actress and her frustration led to real tears. However, I don't equate her real tears with truly letting herself go, which is what the job required. I feel like the tears were more a result of frustration than the emotional release Elina was trying to attain.

Meanwhile, I didn't agree with the praise showered on McKey's photo (pictured, right). She just looked generally angry to me, not specifically like she's lost an award, which would include disappointment or shock. Meanwhile, I didn't agree with the hate thrown on Sheena (Tyra wanted to see more movement, but she had her gown stepped on in the picture - at least her profile is back on the site) The judges also said Sheena just seemed flat, which is probably the first time she's ever heard that. (Then again, maybe it's not and that's why she got the boob job.)

Either way, Sheena landed in the bottom two with Lauren Brie and, for the second week in a row, personality won out over pretty pictures. I'd like to say LB will be missed but I know nothing about her. In fact, you know how the eliminated contestant vanishes from the group photo at the end of every episode? I'm convinced they didn't use a special effect this week — Lauren Brie just disappeared into nothingness.

So what'd you think of this episode? Who knew that out of everything, Tyra's signature is apparently her eyes? (I thought her signature was her batshit insanity.) Finally, is there ANY stopping Marjorie (who got called first) or is she peaking too early?