Desperate Housewives: Running of the Bullies

Last night's episode of "Desperate Housewives" delivered the funny in a big way as two of the main characters (Bree and Susan) returned to top form.

Unfortunately, there still seems to be some mandate that at least one of the Housewives has to act like a complete shrew in each episode — how else to explain the way Lynette is treating Tom?

I get that Tom can be every bit as childish as any of the couple's kids, but Lynette was being downright horrible to her husband right from the start. As the two were cleaning out their garage, she ridiculed all of the hobbies he'd never gotten around to (in front of Dave, a guy they don't know that well). No one likes a ton of trash in their house, but that was just mean (at least Tom got to keep those old Playboys).

As if that wasn't bad enough, Lynette made it look like their daughter Penny (THAT'S where she is) was responsible for leaving Tom's bass lying in the middle of the garage, causing him to run over it. I mean, who cares if Tom wants to jam out every once in a while in his garage with Dave on drums, Mike on guitar (and maybe Carlos as a blind piano player)? It's not like the dude is planning on ditching his family and touring around the world.

Of course, the most significant development occurred when Dave came over with a replacement bass and warned Lynette that, if she keeps stifling him, her marriage might be in trouble. At first, I thought Dave's presumptuousness would rub Lynette the wrong way and possibly lead her to team up with Mrs. McCluskey in digging into Dave's past. However, Lynette seemed content to play the hero at the end of the episode by giving Tom the bass.

In fact, Dave spent a decent amount of time winning over his neighbors. Besides Tom and Lynette, he seems to have Katherine on his side after fixing her sprinkler system. The only problem is that Katherine is supposed to be helping Mrs. M. dig up dirt on Dave. I like Katherine and Mrs. M together (mostly because it gives Dana Delaney something to do) and McCluskey's straightforward interrogation style toward Edie was a treat.

While they weren't the most effective team, they got in Edie's head enough to make her call out her new husband for evading a direct question about his past. The scene where Dave admitted that he hadn't gone to college in front of Edie and her friends was as tense and awkward as it was meant to be. Of course, I think it's 50/50 whether Dave is being truthful, but that's another reason why Neal McDonough is the best addition to the show in years. It also looks like Mrs. McCluskey's life will be spared, but she'll likely be taking a trip to a nursing home soon.

Out of all the housewives' storylines, I was happiest to see Bree come back from wreaking havoc in her new workplace to wreaking havoc in her family. Danielle (pictured, right with Bree) brought Bree's grandson Benjamin (Benji) back to Wisteria Lane for the first time in three years.

Bree had promised to be on her best behavior while Danielle and her new husband Leo were visiting, but Bree had trouble biting her tongue right from the start when she saw Danielle's "delightfully ethnic" outfit. After revealing that they were homeschooling Benji (loved the line about him overtaking Danielle once he gets to reading at a 4th grade level) and raising him as a vegan, it almost seemed as if Danielle was actively doing as much as she could to antagonize her mother.

Then again, given what a severe figure Bree can be, can you blame her? Fortunately, this brought back the conniving side of Bree as she manipulated the boy into eating a hot dog (so he can play for the Red Sox). Of course, it all backfired when he threw up said hot dog and Danielle stormed off. The unexpected repercussion of this scene was Orson lashing out at Bree for blowing their chance at a relationship with their grandson. We also found out that Orson blames Bree for letting Danielle take Benji away while he was in prison. I know the guy has been (rightfully) feeling neglected lately, but that's still too harsh.

Benji was far from the only kid on the block. Susan's son M.J. and Gabrielle's daughter Juanita got some healthy screen time last night as Susan found out her son was being bullied by Gabby's daughter. After Mike and Jackson refused to teach M.J. how to beat up a girl, Susan took matters into her own hands and shoved Juanita to the ground after she'd attacked M.J. again. Juanita had it coming and it's probably just the thing I would've done — except that I don't hit girls because it's against the rules (this is why I don't have kids yet).

That led to a funny exchange of words between Susan and Gabby ("I'm saying she's fat for YOUR age," Susan to Gabby) before the two rolled around in an abbreviated fight. With Susan's hair dye still in, I think this had the comedic potential to match Gabby's fight with the nun from a few years ago. I know I've complained about Susan's constant pratfalls, but what can I say? Teri Hatcher is good at them, and this time she got some equally good lines to complement the physical comedy. Eventually, the two friends made up over booze and the shared knowledge that they each have it pretty hard but are good mothers at the end of the day.

I'm still not convinced Gabby has it as hard as the writers want us to believe. The couple finally sold their convertible the smuggest couple I can remember seeing on this show. However, I found it a tad unbelievable they had to go from their gorgeous car to Andrew's (full disclosure) piece of crap. I mean wasn't there a 2003 Toyota Corolla they could've picked up instead.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed seeing Gabby face off with Andrew because they're two of the cattiest characters on the block. I'm also delighted to see that just because Andrew wears a suit and tie doesn't mean he's lost his edge (though hopefully he won't sleep with Carlos to get even with Gabby), but I was even more delighted to see Gabby get a small victory, when she finally convinced him to pay for the busted radiator. That girl needed a win in the worst way. She helped make this episode a winner too.

So what'd you think of this episode? What's with the weird man-love between Mike and Jackson? Am I picking up a gay vibe between the two or am I just picking up a gay vibe because I can't separate Gale Harold from his role on "Queer as Folk"? Finally, who's Dave going to recruit to be on his side next?