You know, when one of the most relentlessly ridiculous shows on TV takes its ludicrousness to Amsterdam, I expect great (bad) things.What I didn't expect was such a ho-hum episode, which featured a not-so "Amazing Race" homage and an inane "debate" about prostitution.
As is always the case when the models travel overseas, the girls' glamour shots boarded an animated plane for the surprisingly short trip. Once there, they were greeted by Daphne Deckers, the host of "Holland's Next Top Model." Deckers informed the girls they'd have to get in pairs (Samantha was the slowest to team up and got stuck with Elina) and follow a series of clues to find the house they'd be staying in.
We watched some obligatory running, obligatory pay phones, obligatory cab rides, obligatory complaining from Elina (whose sandals were holding her back), but my favorite part of the segment was the little captions updating each team's status. Sam and Elina won, earning 25 extra frames each for their photo shoot, while Sheena and McKey came in a "distant third place."
The race was so exhausting that half the girls decided they just had to strip down naked, get in a bathtub and "shave each other's vajajays," according to McKey, who looked on in horror along with Sheena and Samantha. It's one thing for Elina, Analeigh and Marjorie to frolic naked in an outdoor hot tub or something, but cramming into a bathtub inside was just weird. I guess you have to be European to understand. Or maybe Elina is looking for a new, occasional makeout partner in Analeigh.
Either way, the girls travelled to the Red Light District, where Ms. J informed them they'd be modeling several Dutch designers' clothes in the very same windows that prostitutes use to, um, advertise their services.
Once again, the girls worked in teams. Elina and Analeigh were up first and, while Elina did very well, Analeigh spent most of her time untangling herself from the decorations. Sam and McKey went next and had been asked by their designer to act like living dolls. They did exactly that, up to the point where I think they looked exactly like mannequins. To me, it was a bit lifeless, but it was what the designer wanted, which earned them the win. I actually preferred Marjorie and Sheena's more forceful "ugly" work, despite the fact that Sheena was slammed for being "too pretty" and Marjorie seems to be relying too much on her "hunchback" poses. I get that it's her signature, but show me you can do something else.
Sam and McKey actually earned a kick ass prize — a return trip to Amsterdam for International Fashion Week.
Still, it's not likely Samantha will revisit the Red Light District when she comes back, since she considers the profession to be degrading and didn't understand why anyone would do it. This put her at odds once again with Elina, who said she understood prostitution, but added that it's not something people have to respect. Samantha is kind of a likable idiot, but ice princess Elina has a unique way of completely turning me off when she gets into these silly arguments with the girls, even though I agree with what she's saying in this case (I'm 90% sure it's because of how condescending she is). Either way, as far as arguments on "Top Model" are concerned, this one barely registered.
Later, the girls boarded a boat for their photo shoot, because, according to Mr. Jay, Amsterdam is mostly known for its shipping history. That's funny, I always thought it was for the legal drugs and prostitution.
The photo shoot was relatively drama free, except for when Elina zoned out and appeared to be ignoring Mr. Jay, but who knows how that was edited to look? The judges got it exactly right this week, awarding McKey top photo, while also lavishing praise on Analeigh (working a bit dangerously without a harness). They also rightly criticized Elina and Sheena (straddle that beam!) for disappointing photos that landed them in the bottom two.
This week's panel was actually a lot more interesting than the photo shoot. The highlight occurred when Tyra tried to fix Sam's tragic "soccer mom" outfit, but instead ended up making it look like she was a "soccer mom that's been hit by a truck," according to Paulina. Personally, I thought her rumpled looked like someone who'd gotten away after someone attempted to sexually assault her. For some reason, this led to Ms. J taking his pants off. I wish there were some way I could unsee that.
Although Elina was in the bottom two for the second straight week (shades of last year's winner Whitney), it was pretty clear Sheena was going home. She's been uneven most of the time, but, with only five other girls remaining, was really out of her league, as far as looking model-y.
Sheena (pictured, right) probably in a league of her own when it came to her reaction to being eliminated. No tears, no angry face — just relentless optimism and a genuine gratitude for the chance of being on TV, chasing her dream and entertaining millions of people for a few weeks. Although, she was at odds a few times with Elina (who hasn't?) she seemed like the nicest, most supportive person in that house (I liked the way she embraced Isis), and she'll be missed. Of course, she'll mostly be missed because she was my Ridiculously Early Pick to win this thing.
So what'd you think of this episode? Are there any countries that DON'T have a version of "Top Model"? (If so, what's wrong with them?!) At what age does a model become "legendary" ala Daphne and Paulina? (37?) Finally, with five people to go, is there any clear cut favorite? (I'm really liking the way Analeigh is coming on.)
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