Dancing with the Stars: She's Making Us Misty

Don't ever let anyone tell you that dancing isn't hard.

Sure I may be a little biased because I've dabbled in dancing for the better part of the last five years, but, if you needed any more proof, look at what happened to poor Misty May Treanor (pictured, left).

Here's a world-class athlete who won a gold medal at the Olympics less than two months ago rupturing her Achilles tendon during a rehearsal for a show that would regularly rank in my top 5 silliest shows on TV if I ever bothered to put that list together.

I'll miss her because she had potential as a dancer and was a natural born performer. She was also, by my count, one of only five people (along with Lance, Toni, Brooke, and Warren) who could actually win this season. I'll also miss Maks, one of the most interesting pros (if not the most interesting), but not as much as my girl Erica will miss him (probably for different reasons than mine). That being said, I really hope this rumor doesn't turn out to be true.

With that out of the way, let's talk about the dancing last night — which I guess I have to do despite the fact that, with few exceptions, was mostly uninspired and over scored. The couples performed the Viennese waltz and the jive, while one couple performed a Vietnamese waltz for good measure.

Len's assessment that Brooke's waltz was the best dance of the season is absolutely true from a technical standpoint. However, I didn't really see a wow moment in the dance (I get that the waltz isn't a "wow" dance, but still) and found myself spacing out a bit (probably because it was the last dance of a mediocre night). I don't think it was worthy of the season's first 10, much less one from the DANCMSTR. More interesting was Derek chastising his partner when she had trouble learning the dance ("your mind is lazy.") Ok, so the fight itself wasn't interesting, but I enjoyed it because I've (unfortunately) been known to go all "Derek" on Erica a few times when we dance and because of the odd way the two seemed to be acting during this "fight."

While Brooke's may have been better, I enjoyed Warren and, yes, Toni's dance better. Warren continues to amaze with how light he is on his feet, though his arm action fell just short of Jason Taylor-esque. Warren earned his first 9 (I thought it was really a solid 8) Meanwhile, Toni insisted on taking a chance this week altering her "Vietnamese" waltz with a faux-hard-rock edge. Personally, I didn't see enough of a difference in her dancing from a traditional waltz to peeve the judges, but I guess they were just too distracted by the music. I guess they were also distracted while waiting for the handstand she practiced over and over again, but (smartly) never tried to perform. Also, I kinda like that she's good enough that she doesn't need to take any chances — but still took one! As long as it's not a regular thing it should be fine.

That's been the problem facing Lance and Lacey, who finally dialed things down this week. While trying to appease Len, they visited what they thought would be his peers at a retirement community (come on, Len's not THAT old!) Unfortunately, Lance's dancing was simply not good enough. Warren's waltz CLEARLY was better, and that just shouldn't be. Despite the underwhelming dance, I fear Lacey's throwaway remark that Cloris will be coming to the retirement community after the show will hurt the couple more than Lance's subpar dancing.

Rocco also performed a waltz and, while I usually struggle to find nice things to say about his dancing, I will say that I don't remember him being THAT bad this week. Of course, I was probably distracted by the awful version of "What's New Pussycat" (good call by Erica in saying it sounded like Randy Newman was singing). Bruno was right — he should've kept the blindfold on the entire time. I should've reached for the ear plugs.

The remaining couples performed the jive — except for Cloris who performed a travesty masquerading as a jive. I feared this would happen after the judges (um, Carrie Ann) trashed her the one time she actually tried to dance last week. The less said about Cloris' performance (featuring a moment where she pretended to smell Corky's fart) the better. That routine had "2" written all over it.

I was actually looking forward to a performance by Maurice for the first time because I figured the jive would be right up his alley. In the end, it was just meh and the thing I remember the most is Cheryl backleading her way through most of the moves and Maurice's awful jacket. Of course, the judges all gave him 8s because they'll likely never get a chance to score him that high again this season.

Cody's jive, on the other hand, had lots of potential before (as Len accurately pointed out) it became repetitive and fell apart in the second half. (Really, Julianne? You choreographed TWO moments where he plays your leg as a guitar?) Then there was Susan, who is just not very fun to watch because I feel like she's going to break if she dances too hard. Then again, maybe she feels that way too, given the dainty little way she dances. That didn't stop the judges, mesmerized by her breasts, from giving her straight 7s. More importantly, I think she's supplanted Kim Kardashian as "Person Erica hates the most."

So what'd you think of this episode? What was your favorite Misty/Maks memory? Is there any chance Maks could potentiall whipe Kim's ass (ha!) into shape? Finally, is there any chance in hell they send someone home this week?

(NOTE: I won't be linking to the dances anymore in these recaps. Every time the videos got taken down after I spent so much time linking to them a little piece of me died. Sorry. If you haven't seen the show or the routines discussed here, I encourage you to seek them out yourself, so you can fully appreciate my hilariously witty comments. Thank you.)