America's Next Top Recap: Going Bananas

With the (not-so) triumphant return of the cheesiest graphic on TV right now (that would be the glossy model photos superimposed on an airplane’s windows) the contestants made their way to Sao Paolo, the modeling capital of Brazil. Or South America. (Heck, why not THE WORLD?!)

All of the girls were thrilled to be in Brazil, except for Natalie who repeatedly complained about not being near the beach, working in a “poor neighborhood,” the sleeping situation, and pretty much everything else. She just generally had a stank(ier than usual) attitude. (Foreshadowing!)

As soon as the girls arrived, they had to team up and participate in a (not-quite)Amazing Race to locate the woman who was the inspiration for the song “The Girl from Ipanema.” Fo was still annoyed that Teyona didn’t share her reward with her last week, despite the fact that no one besides Fo thinks that Fo and Teyona are friends. (At least not based on what we’ve been shown on camera.)

Aminat and Teyona (actual friends) got off to a fast start, but were eventually overtaken by Fo and Natalie (who won the challenge and a bunch of ridiculously over priced flip flops), as well as Celia and Allison, who had been stuck with the slowest cab driver in the bunch.

Since there was no drama in the new house (besides Natalie’s whining) the show’s producers generously decided to give us a second challenge in which the girls took a beginner’s capoeira lesson from a guy I’m 99% sure was named “Eddy Murphy” (but looked like Don Cheadle in disguise — go figure).

Mr. Jay and Ms. J apparated out of nowhere and announced that the girls would incorporate their capoeira skills into an impromptu photo shoot. Unfortunately, Teyona didn’t hear the “photo shoot” part and just did capoeira. Celia, who had accidentally kicked Aminat in the face during their session (thank God this didn’t become a thing), took good photos, but her arms got in the way of her face for most of them. Natalie looked like she was doing apathetic cheerleader kicks, while Aminat’s face continued to be underwhelming in photos.

Fo, meanwhile, had a bit of an angry puppy face, but her excellent body angles helped her win. Not only did she earn 50% more frames for her shoot later on, but she got to pick which model would lose 50% of her shots. Fo picked Teyona and tried to convince herself that it was mostly because Teyona was strong competition. However, we all know it was because Teyona didn’t acknowledge their imaginary friendship.

The two had a minor faceoff back at the house after Teyona announced that she took Fo’s choice as a compliment. Fo finally reminded Teyona (to her face, instead of whining to us) that she had snubbed her last week. (I bet it felt good for Fo to get it out in the open.)

As has been the case with (seemingly) every single contestant who has earned extra frames, Fo needed them during the Carmen Miranda/Chiquita banana photo shoot (which was set in a favela/ghetto for no apparent reason.)

It’s not that Fo’s picture was bad, it’s just that she totally mimicked Carmen Miranda’s original pose and didn’t bring anything new to the table. My favorites were Allison, (pictured, right, who COMPLETELY brightened up the favela — hmm, maybe that contrast is the reason the photo shoot was set there) who earned top picture honors, despite the fact that my other favorite Teyona’s picture was a little better (maybe the judges didn’t want to give her two straight Top Pics).

My least favorites were Celia (a little sleepy), Aminat (underwhelming face AGAIN) and Natalie (even sleepier than Celia, despite Mr. Jay’s assurances).

The bottom two was comprised of Natalie and Aminat. This was Aminat’s third appearance in the bottom two. You know what they say — “Strike three, you’re out-standingly shiny skin and statue-esque body are keeping you around, despite the fact that you CANNOT take a photo to save your life.” (People say that, right?)

On the other hand, I can’t get TOO bent out of shape about Natalie’s ouster. She’s always been cocky and arrogant (as Aminat is happy to point out), but up until last night, at least Natalie bothered to back up her talk. Goodbye, Natalie. I hope you’re back in the United States in a warm weather city and near a beach — so you can stop complaining.

So what’d you think of this episode? Was I the only one surprised to know the Girl from Ipanema was a real person? (And still alive?) Were the judges planting the seed for Celia's elimination by bringing up her age or setting up the "obstacle" for her to overcome as a future champion? Finally, how racist was Natalie’s obvious disgust about having to shoot in the favela? (A little racist? Kinda racist? Not racist at all?)