America's Next Top Recap: Weighty Issues

For the most part, I was pleasantly surprised with how sensitively this show handled London’s (pictured, right) weight gain issue.

I say “surprised” because “sensitively” is not a word usually associated with “America’s Next Top Model.” I say “for the most part” because Ms. J’s immature slams about London’s weight during the judging panel were an unnecessary cheap shot. Then again, I can’t say I’m shocked the most useless judge has to strain to try to remain relevant and show that he/she shouldn’t be replaced on the panel by someone else.

We’d gotten hints that London’s weight was going to be an issue when London herself brought up the fact that she’d gained about 10-15 (noticeable) pounds since the start of the competition. (My girlfriend Erica for the second straight week: “Are we sure she’s not pregnant?” Me for the second straight week: “Ouch.”)

Before the issue came to the forefront, we learned that what the models REALLY wanted to do was direct. Well at least what’s what Mr. Jay wanted them to WANT to do. The week’s challenge had the models serving as the creative director for a fellow models shoot.

Most of them — except for time-wasting Aminat — did well. Allison came out of her shell, but was a bit disorganized during her model’s shoot, Celia did a great job, but had a bad crop on her chosen photo and Teyona styled Celia very well, but didn’t pick the photo Mr. Jay would’ve picked.

In the end it didn’t matter because Teyona won the challenge and a chance to take part in a Seventeen magazine photo shoot. She got to pick two friends to bring along, so she selected BFF Aminat and Celia, her partner for the challenge. I thought it was a smart, fair move for Teyona to reward the person who helped her win, but that didn’t stop Fo from feeling slighted because she’s Teyona’s close friend. Personally, I had no idea Fo and Teyona were supposed to be that close. (Apparently, neither did Teyona.)

As the girls were hanging out in the house, they got an early wake up call from Mr. Jay (Allison totally DID look like a bewildered woodland creature). While they were getting ready, they got a knock on the door. Teyona answered and shrieked at the sight of singer Ciara. I know Ciara, and I enjoy her music, but I probably couldn’t pick her out of a lineup. I think it would’ve been funny to see someone like me answer the door. (I would’ve been like, “Oh hi, come in. Your name is Ciara? Like the singer?)

The week’s photo shoot had the girls acting like an obsessed Ciara fan(?) that got tangled up in microphone wire on her way to the singer(?!) but apparently decided to do a sexy pose anyway(?!?). Despite the rampant silliness of the concept, London was seriously worried about having so much of her body exposed, and it showed during her tense shoot.

Afterward, Mr. Jay pulled her aside and gently asked her about the matter. Sure, the whole “your body is a temple when you’re a model” thing was a bit trite, but I liked him quietly taking London to the side and addressing the issue in a firm, sensitive way instead of doing something like calling her a fat ass while she was on stage.

The rest of the girls (except for janky faced Aminat) did pretty well. My favorites were Natalie (capital-F Fierce), Fo (great angle on the body) and Teyona (best combination of fierceness and body placement.)

The bottom two were predictably London and Aminat. Though I like London and I thought she took some very strong photos during the competition (CERTAINLY stronger than Aminat) I can’t argue with the judges keeping Aminat, who’s simply more model-y.

Goodbye London, I won’t so much miss your preaching (which mysteriously reappeared in this episode), but I WILL miss your fantastic bleach blonde hair, eternally smiling eyes, and the fact that you don’t look like a flamingo.

So what’d you think of this episode? Do we really consider Ciara a music “icon”? (Um, no. I think Clay Aiken is more of a music icon.) Where does the Portuguese-speaking pool boy with the Brazil nuts rank among the insane ways the show has revealed its overseas trip. (I still say it’s not nearly as crazy as the Chinese dragon from a few cycles back.)