Hell's Kitchen: What Show Have YOU Ben Watching

Thank goodness for Paula, right?

I was starting to get worried that I was the only person involved with this show (and yes, watching this ridiculous program and writing about it every week makes me feel "involved") who could see that Ben (pictured, left) was nothing more than a delusional, pompous jackass.

However, judging by last week’s episode (where everyone seemed to agree a Danny/Paula/Ben final 3 was a foregone conclusion) and the promos for this one (promising a "SHOCKING" elimination which turned out to be Ben) it seemed like everyone had pretty much agreed that Ben was definitely, 100% for sure a better chef than Ben.

Thank goodness for Paula.

We’ll get into why I now want her to win more than ever, but first let’s talk about the rest of this relatively ho-hum episode. (Ho-hum is what happens when most of the basket cases are gone and all you’re left with are people who can actually cook.)

The chefs arrived in "Hell’s Kitchen" the day after elimination and were treated to three dishes by Chef Ramsay himself. Unfortunately, it seems like none of them have ever watched this show before because it was pretty obvious that this was going to be the challenge where Ramsay would ask them to recreate one of his signature dishes.

The contestants had 30 minutes and it seemed pretty obvious who was going to win from the beginning, since Danny was the only person shown that actually bothered to repeatedly taste the fish stew dish that had been chosen. Ben was too busy trying to keep his work secret from everyone else (kind of a dick move) while Andrea was too busy watching everyone else work.

I know the show feels like it has to make EVERY challenge seem incredibly close, but last night the manufactured drama was particularly stupid. Ramsay said Paula lost since she chose to use water instead of chicken stock. Um, how about Danny won because he was the only person that actually used the correct fish (red snapper instead of halibut) for the FISH stew?! Seems like a pretty important call to me.

As a reward, Danny won a trip up in a biplane with Chef Ramsay riding shotgun on a different plane. It looked like it was a fun day, but I personally would’ve been terrified the entire time and repeatedly asking Ramsay, "Couldn’t you just take me out to a nice lunch somewhere?"Back in "Hell’s Kitchen" nothing too interesting was going on (this would become a recurring theme for the rest of the episode) so what we got was a bunch of footage edited in a way to show us how whiny and annoying Andrea is. Pretty blah stuff.

Through a combination of (semi)competent chefs and the fact that there just aren’t that many people left to create personal drama, yesterday’s episode was pretty blah overall.

For example, Chef Ramsay had a big reveal for the chefs before the dinner service up in the contestants’ room. Instead of a new wardrobe, a past contestant, a celebrity or anything else that might’ve been interesting, the chefs discovered (and pretended to be psyched about) Ramsay-sanctioned pots and pans. Actually, I take it back - the fact that Ramsay took advantage of such a boring episode to shill his cookware was pretty amusing.

The dinner service started and something genuinely "shocking" happened. Not only was everyone doing well (Ben was rocking the risotto, Paula was kicking the scallops’ ass, Andrea was excelling at the tough meat station), but I found myself rooting for them to do well and for not too much to go wrong.

Ah, but all good things come to an end. Paula struggled a bit and Ben served bland risotto. That wasn’t Ben’s only screw up and it was amusing to see Ramsay take time out from the dinner service just to make sure Ben didn’t go off the rails mentally. In a related note, I never realized how hilarious it would be to hear someone repeatedly yell "PLAIN SALAD" at the top of his lungs.Since the dinner service was so drama-free, I found myself looking for things to happen. (Well, except for the lingering shot of that one patron’s breast - we didn’t have to look too hard to see that.

For example, when that patron gave Jean-Philippe the engagement ring so he could propose to his girlfriend, I was convinced something horrible would happen, but it turned out to be a semi-sweet moment. Also, when it turned out that Andrea had miscounted the Beef Wellingtons, tarnishing an otherwise mostly-perfect service, I had a horrible moment when I thought Danny (or Ben) may have messed with the meat in order to sabotage her. (Now THAT, would’ve been a shocking elimination if it happened and Ramsay had found out about it.)

But nope. Neither turned out to be the case. The final four couldn’t come up with a consensus. Ben, once again, listed his years of experience and condescendingly asked Andrea to do the same. Neither would put themselves on the chopping block and Danny had voted for Andrea (continuing to fuel my crazy sabotage theory).

This was when Paula stepped up and officially became the person I’m rooting for. She called out Ben for repeatedly flaking out during dinner services despite all his alleged experience. I don’t know if Paula felt kinship with sister Andrea, but I was just SO glad to hear someone on the show finally step up and get in Ben’s grill. (For his part, Ben was genuinely "floored." Ugh, get a clue dude!)

Ben continued to insist that Ramsay constantly yelled at him because he "saw something in him." Meanwhile, I continue to insist that Ramsay constantly yelled at him because he kept f---ing up!

In the end, Ramsay kicked Ben to the curb (yay!) and gave him some encouragement and praise for the way he handled criticism. That’s one thing I’ll give Ben credit for. He never EVER emotionally cracked under Ramsay’s withering gaze and he continued to fight. Then again, I could probably make the case that the reason Ramsay’s words didn’t affect Ben was because he was too dumb to realize that Ramsay meant them.

So what’d you think of this episode? Didn’t that woman look a little put-off when her fiancé proposed? (Like, instead of a ring, Jean-Philippe had served her a dead mosquito on top of her dessert? Is there ANY way Andrea sneaks into the final 3? (Um, not unless pericarditis is contagious and Danny or Paula caught it.) Finally, who do you like for the win? I like Paula for the reasons stated above and because Danny seems a tad too full of himself (though with good reason, unlike Ben.)