Dancing with the Stars: Doble Trouble

I wish I could say that I sorta missed the cuddliness of Steve Wozniak (and the entertainment value of Karina Smirnoff’s stank faces), but I just didn’t. I’m mostly happy I don’t have to watch the duo “dance” while hoping they don’t get hurt.

With Woz (and Holly Madison) gone in a double elimination, we were left with nine couples as they tried to dazzle us with their Viennese waltzes (or, as Toni Braxton would say, “Vietnamese waltzes”) and Paso dobles. Let’s see how they did, in order of appearance.

Chuck Wicks and Julianne: He looked kinda stupid at times during his waltz, but I liked that he threw himself into the performance (also, this show is kind of all about looking stupid) for a change. This real-life couple is STILL more meh than most fictional couples. It would be nice if Chuck actually seemed like he wanted to be there, instead of acting like the guy whose girlfriend dragged him to Bed, Bath and Beyond. Who does he think he’s going to win over by acting like he’s too cool for this show? People who watch this show know it’s ridiculous, so just embrace it already Charles, and stop acting like you’re above it all.

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta: (pictured, left) Kinda looked like Shaquille O’Neal during his intense-yet-lumbering paso doble. I was expecting a bit more out of him here. He was TOTALLY right about the challenging music he danced to having no discernible beat. He looked almost as puzzled as I was after his weird lap dance comment. (Does he have to bring up golf EVERY week?)

Shawn Johnson and Mark: Best waltz of the evening and a nice return to simplicity after last week’s overstuffed gymnastics routine/Lindy hop. It’s going to be a dogfight between her and Lil’ Kim for that final top 3 slot.

Melissa Rycroft and Tony: Funny rehearsal footage with Melissa trying (and failing) to get her angry face on and lose the cheesy grin. She definitely had a “Poker Face” during her Paso doble — it was a little on the blank side for me, instead of angry. Then again, maybe she was distracted by some of the slight technical mistakes she made. Still, she was very good last in what looked like the toughest choreography of the evening (yes, even tougher than Gilles’). Is it bad that I like her more now that she’s made some mistakes and that we have confirmation that she’s a mortal in this competition?

David Alan Grier and Kym: I’ve said it before and Carrie Ann said it last night — these two are just not connecting as a couple. Carrie Ann said they’re not dancing together, but it just seems to me like these two just don’t go very well together as human beings (his jokes seemed to sail over her head from day one). It’s a shame because, random dog-peeing kicks aside, he’s a pretty talented guy. He’s worried about falling to the middle of the pack. With Woz and Holly now gone, he’d better be careful he doesn’t wind up in the back of the pack.

Gilles Marini and Cheryl: It’s probably weird that I was totally ok with Gilles starting off shirtless (before Cheryl put the bolero on him) while my girlfriend thought it was too gratuitous, isn’t it? While his Paso WAS a bit hectic at times, Gilles totally hit his steps. Do we think he didn’t get a 30 because the judges (Len) didn’t want to give someone a perfect score for two straight weeks this early on? His son (whom he doesn’t see anymore thanks to this show, apparently) is adorable.

Steve-O and Lacey: Probably not a good sign that I enjoyed watching him dance with Wee man in rehearsals more than I did his actual performance. Though his posture is still a bit screwed up (his back IS a wreck), this was definitely his best work (I liked the brief miming) and a charming waltz.

Ty Murray and Chelsie: Took a big, awkward step back this week and looked more like the Ty from week one. If you ever wondered what it’d be like if the Terminator did a Paso doble, you should check out this performance. (Even a Transformer would be more fluid, Bruno.) On the bright side, he continues to deliver the best rehearsal packages, taking Chelsie on an entertaining bull-riding field trip.

Lil’ Kim and Derek: I liked the ridiculous music video she was shooting this week, I loved the fact that she was practicing in a robe during her downtime, but I just didn’t love her “sassy” waltz. To me, Lil’ Kim came off like a rapper pretending to do a ballroom dance (which is what she is) instead of someone who inhabited the dance (which is what she’s done in the past). Maybe it’s just me.

So what’d you think of this episode? Is Gilles peaking too soon? Do we still have ANY idea what a Buddha board is? Finally, who do you think is going home? (I’m betting it’ll be LT, who only scored two points higher than cellar-dwelling Steve-O.)