Dancing with the Stars: Group Effort

I actually like the group dances on “Dancing with the Stars.”

It’s not even because it gives one of the most ridiculous shows on TV a chance to take the Absurd-o-Meter up a few notches (last night’s routine tackled every 1960’s cliché imaginable).

I like them because when we see all the celebs dance at the same time we can see who’s really good and who has no chance of winning. (See: Last season’s legendarily bad performance by Susan Lucci during the Top 6 group dance, which, I believe, directly led to her being FINALLY being eliminated.)

Most surprisingly, this was the episode that finally made me like Chuck Wicks.

Without further ado, let’s get to talking about the dancers and their performances of styles they hadn’t yet tackled, in order of appearance.

Melissa Rycroft and Tony: Carrie Ann called this the best Argentine tango of the season and I’m inclined to agree with her — except that Giles’ Argentine tango earlier in the season earned a 30. I still think this one — with its intricate leg work (those legs were telling a story all by themselves!) and breathtaking lifts — was a little better. My only question is whether to give special/wonderfully-random guest mentor Teri Hatcher ALL of the credit or SOME of the credit.

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta: Hey, did you know that the celebs designed the pro’s outfits this week? I don’t blame you for forgetting, since this was pretty much the only instance in which that little tidbit became an issue. I don’t know where the judges got off giving LT straight 7s. He started off well, but his waltz eventually dipped into the disaster zone — a dress over the Edyta’s head here, a botched kneeling move there — which just goes to show what happens when you put too much clothes on Edyta. More importantly, LT is SO over this whole thing. He looked surly during the goofy, Brady Bunch-ish graphic touting the group dance. He acted grumpy during the group rehearsal. Finally, this week he actually went back and played golf. Why don’t the fans just do him a favor and let him stay there?

Lil’ Kim and Derek: The “bedroom” dance seemed like a natural fit for Kim, but this was the week in which she and Derek decided to tone things down for Len’s benefit. It didn’t work since he gave them the exact same 8 from last week and the confusing comment that he “likes raunch, but doesn’t score it very highly. (Huh?!) It also made me wonder if Carrie Ann or Bruno ever get offended that the celebs don’t go out of their way to please THEM. (Then again, Bruno is pretty easily amused.)

Chuck Wicks and Julianne: As I mentioned before, I enjoyed Chuck Wicks more this week than I have during his entire run on this show — and that was BEFORE he busted out the blonde wig for the group dance and the instant classic sexytime pinky-near-the-mouth look for the camera! (Pictured, left) During his samba, he finally, FINALLY seemed to realize he was (wearing red pajamas) on a ridiculous show and cut loose. The blonde wig eventually reinforced Chuck’s newfound freedom. All that being said, I think the judges got a little carried away giving him the same exact score as Giles.

Ty Murray and Chelsie: There isn’t much to say about Ty that I haven’t said before. When he has to dance alone, he’s kind of a train wreck (like he was during the men’s portion of the group dance at the beginning) and stiffer than a Shawn Johnson cardboard cutout. When he’s in hold, he’s pretty good. Also, the guy continues to charm off the dance floor (I had no idea that was him dressed up as a hippie during the group dance rehearsal). Finally, why did it look like he was starting a lawnmower before he rode Chelsie like a bull?

Shawn Johnson and Mark: I can objectively see that Melissa and Giles are better dancers, so why do I consistently enjoy Shawn and Lil’ Kim’s performances more. To me, Shawn’s cha cha cha was one of the more enjoyable routines of the night. GREAT mixture of the polish and precision Shawn naturally has as an Olympian with some newfound flair as a dancer (LOVED their side-by-side moves). Hopefully she’ll take time out from accepting awards to do even better on this show? (How is it possible she hadn’t gotten a 10 until last night?!)

Gilles Marini and Cheryl: Giles, you’re a GREAT dancer, but you have to slow down. Cheryl’s right about Giles “Latin” arms, and I thought getting him training underwater in a pool was ingenious for improving his arm movements (and not-so-subtle eye candy for the women, who pretty much got an entire outline of Giles’ package). Still, his waltz felt a bit rushed, but it won’t hurt his status as one of the show’s front-runner, and the top dog among the men.

So what’d you think of this episode? Did ANYONE see the alleged blunder in Melissa’s performance that Len pointed out? What was the point of having the celebs “design” the pros outfits? (Does anyone actually believe LT or Ty Murray slaved in a workroom, “Project Runway” style?) Who do you think is going home? (Please let it be LT) Finally, who do you think Chuck resembled most with his wig— Shaggy, Kurt Cobain or Derek Hough? (Please don’t say Derek Hough — that would be CREEPY.)