Heroes: Slaughterhouse Four

Yes, “Heroes” has been “better” this season, but does that mean that it’s actually “good”?

I can’t fully go there because I feel every episode has only been about 66% good. Most of this year’s installments have been focusing on three storylines (which certainly isn’t a bad idea). Unfortunately, one of those storylines has been an absolute dog every week.

Best in Show this week goes to the Parkman/Subconscious Sylar saga, which only promises to be more interminable.

Poor Greg Grunberg. Not only has his character CLEARLY outstayed his welcome on the show, but it appears as if the producers insisted Parkman keep his shirt on in his love scene with Janice, while Zachary Quinto got to be shirtless when Subconscious Sylar was romancing her. (You know — because Grunberg is fat.)

Don’t get me wrong, I like Grunberg. It’s just that Matt has mostly lost the everyman quality that made him appealing in the first place and the writers now seem content to have him act like a Class A moron. I mean, what other explanation is there for Matt to actually believe that becoming a fall-down drunk (as a way of getting rid of Subconscious Sylar) was a GOOD idea? Though it was pretty obvious that SS was messing with Matt, the fact that Sylar is now in Matt’s body was a twist. (Notice that I didn’t say it was a “good twist” because it just means this nonsense is going to go on and on.)

A plotline I’m actually glad to see go on is Claire’s possible budding lesbianism. And, no, it’s not because I’m some sort of perv, ya pervs! It’s because “Heroes” is showing us that attention-grabbing kiss from a couple of weeks ago wasn’t JUST a ratings stunt. I liked how Claire’s initial resistance to Gretchen wasn’t so much because she’s a girl — it was more because entering into a relationship would jeopardize the “normal” life she’s pining after.

This storyline also gave us a bunch of nice moments, including Rebecca telling Claire, “You didn’t have to go all Buffy on us” when a bunch of sorority sisters tried to “kidnap” Claire and Gretchen for a Screamin’ Scavenger Hunt. Eventually, Claire, Gretchen and another pair of girls were dropped off in the middle of what looked like a “Resident Evil” game. Invisible Rebecca’s main goal was to kill Gretchen inside the abandoned slaughterhouse. Claire was able to save her, and Rebecca fled. The only thing I didn’t like about this storyline is that the other two girls didn’t get killed. I mean, one of them was annoying, and the other was bitchy — and they entered a room called “Kill House.” (Come on!)

Picking up from last week, HRG did his best to save Jeremy the Healer/Death Dealer, and the writers did their best to shoehorn Ali Larter into the proceedings. Noah had Tracy pretend to be Jeremy’s mom to get him out of prison.

In the midst of all that, Samuel (oh yeah, I remember that whole carnival thing now) wooed Tracy with the promise of a world where they would all be accepted. (I kinda wish Samuel would just do whatever it is he’s going to do already.) That promise looked more tempting after what happened to Jeremy.

A couple of hick deputies (the show wanted to remind us that they were in Georgia) kidnapped Jeremy, chained him to a car and dragged him down the street after Jeremy had accidentally killed another person. The melodrama and cheesiness of the accidental death sequence robbed it of some of its effectiveness, as did the fact that a person with abilities was basically outed and no one seemed to notice or care. (I’d probably ask questions about a guy who can kill people by touching them, even if I weren’t a reporter.)

Still, “Heroes” did show admirable restraint in the dragging sequence, by not actually showing us Jeremy’s death (although we did get the bloody aftermath). Once again, whatever feeling this may have evoked was undermined by bad writing. Aiming for poignancy, Tracy asked Noah, “Do you think we could ever just live in the open?” Noah responds with, “After today — no.” I get what they were going for, but a line like that pretty much sends the message that everything that’s come before (the company, Danko hunting heroes just last season) is insignificant.

So what’d you think of this episode? Has there been a “Heroes” episode you’ve TOTALLY loved this season? What was with the douche-y hat Sylar/Nathan (or whoever the hell he is) was wearing at the carnival? Now that Tracy is obviously on board, who will be next to join the carnival? Are there any abandoned slaughterhouses in your area? Finally, is anybody out there actually looking forward to Mohinder’s imminent return? (Bueller? Bueller?)