Project Runway: Zip it!

Has there ever been a bigger disparity between the haves and the have-not-a-clues on “Project Runway”?

Don’t get me wrong – I’m perfectly ok with the fact that we’re CLEARLY headed for an Irina/Carol-Hannah/Althea finale. Those three designers have definitely stood out (albeit, in an underwhelming season) and deserve to battle it out for the title. Irina even makes for an imminently hiss-able villain.

The only problem is that the only “drama” until we get to the finale is which of those three women will win the weekly challenge (the judges seem hell bent on not having the same person win two weeks in a row) and which of the crappy designers will be asked to leave.

(Actually, I think it’s pretty clear by now which crappy designer might NEVER be asked to leave — our boy Christopher. Again, he seems like a nice guy, but his continued presence would be a little easier to take if he wasn’t so painfully delusional about his performance this season. I especially liked the part where he was describing his dress and said the judges are “going to look at it and go, ‘That’s a Christopher piece.’” The only problem is that Christopher honestly believes this is a GOOD thing.)

That sucking sound you heard at the start of the episode was just Christopher and Logan hanging out in their room. They joined the rest of the designers for the week’s challenge. After asking everyone to turn their backs to the runway, Heidi revealed that everyone would be creating a companion look for a previous challenge winner.

Well, everyone except Logan. Not only had Logan never won a challenge, but Althea informed us that he’d never even be in the top 3. (How is that even possible?!) Instead, Logan had to work with the zipper dress from the first challenge that no one remembers. (I REALLY should’ve seen the night’s outcome coming.)

The designers had $100 and headed off to Mood, where Carol-Hannah got a head start on the weekly mentoring session with Tim. C-H was worried about the fact that she’s only made dresses so far and was considering trying something else. Tim WISELY advised her to do what she feels comfortable doing, but to knock it out of the park. Crisis avoided. I understand the need to stretch creatively, but I’ll never understand why designers think completely changing who they are deep into the competition is a good idea. That’d be like me saying, “I’m going to write this recap in Italian this week — I’ve never done it, but really I want to show I can do something different.”

This week, the recently-snoozy workroom portion of the show was livened up by semi-genuine drama. Althea noticed that Logan was making a zippered collar, which is what she did during the Christina Aguilera challenge. Althea complained to Irina over lunch about how she “hated” Logan for stealing her design. If it’s any consolation, I don’t believe Logan knowingly “stole” Althea’s idea. I think the dude is too clueless to be that conniving. This was especially amusing, given that Althea would later be accused of plagiarism herself by her lunch buddy on the runway.

Tim eventually came by for his mentoring session. He saved Carol-Hannah again, advised Althea to make her pants less diaper-y and appeared to (figuratively) throw up his hands of Christopher and his ridiculously voluminous dress. Irina actually had the line of the night, asking “Why is one dress throwing up another?” (See, THIS is the kind of clever villainy I can get behind — she should tap her inner Michael Kors more often.)

Speaking of Kors, he was absent this week, but thankfully replaced by popular season 2 alum Nick Verreos. The runway show was, once again, pretty underwhelming, but that was to be expected given that the looks were complementing previous designs.

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Irina, Carol-Hannah and Althea were in the top 3. Carol-Hannah made a lovely (if safe) little black dress, so the challenge winner came down to Irina and Althea’s dueling oversized sweaters. Things got a bit awkward on the runway when Irina pointed out that she’d done the look first, but Nick helpfully pointed out that sort of thing just happens in the workroom. Also, we’re talking about a big sweater here – not exactly as unusual as a zippered collar.

Nina thought Irina’s dress looked cheap, but all the judges (especially Heidi) unanimously swooned over Althea’s version of the similar look and gave her the win. To be honest, I would’ve gone with Irina on this one. To me, Althea’s model looked positively sloppy — I guess the lumpy sweater/boobs-around-the-stomach look is “in” now (or at least it was last year when they filmed this). Of course, there’s a decent chance Heidi and Co. know more about this subject than I do.

Christopher, Logan and Gordana were in the bottom 3. Christopher actually improved on his performance from the past month and actually escaped the bottom 2, where Logan’s tragically 80’s/lizard with a floppy neck getup faced off against Gordana’s depressing Polish office worker.

Personally, I would’ve sent Gordana home. While Logan’s look was bad, it was more misguided than anything. Gordana’s jacket was ill-fitting and the whole look just kind of made me sad. Really, really sad.

Still, Logan’s had it coming for a long time now. Given that he added nothing to the show, (at least not for me) it was time for him to go. I might’ve been sad to see him pack his bags if not for his elitist, “I don’t design for middle America or 90 percent of the population” rant.

So what’d you think of this episode? Did you enjoy guest judge Kerry Washington? (Though pleasant, she was no Milla Jovovich.) What exactly is the point of the challenge wins at this stage? (There’s no reward and past work didn’t save people like Ra’Mon and Epperson.) Finally, do you think the show should bring back more alums as guest judges? (I think there’s a place for someone who can relate to what the contestants are doing through.)