Jersey Shore: An Unfortunate Situation

After watching the latest episode of “Jersey Shore” it’s clearer to me than ever that the reason The Situation and Angelina fought so much is because they’re probably not that different.

For example, both think nothing about hooking up with multiple people. (Bonus points if it’s someone a fellow cast member has already hooked up with.) With Angelina gone (the rest of house literally busted out the champagne to celebrate) The Situation’s awfulness took center stage.

Unfortunately, the season’s other main source of awfulness (drippy Sammi) also jumped back into the spotlight. Notice I didn’t say “Ronnie and Sammi” in my previous sentence.

Although he was unquestionably the season’s villain early on, and he’s still a major jackass, I saw stuff from Ronnie that reminded me why he was one of my favorite people during season 1. When Sammi was talking about how gross The Situation was in a club Sammi said “If I ever met him, I would be like, “Hell no!” Ronnie’s instant classic response: “You DID meet him…and you made out with him.” Later, when the group was going out, Sammi whined “I don’t feel like I look nice” to which Ronnie responded, “Shut up.”

Damnit, I’m starting to like Ronnie again – Sammi…not so much.

With Angelina gone, Sammi worried that she wouldn’t have anyone else in the house to hang out with (on the rare occasions that Ronnie was able to pry himself away). It just so happened that Snooki wanted to extend an olive branch and the two got to talking.

It all resulted in some of the tensest body language I’ve ever seen when J-Woww came to sit on the couch, and Sammi refused to look at or talk to her. J-Woww gave a semi-convincing, half-hearted apology which Sammi didn’t really accept. Whatever. In her confessional, J-Woww called Sammi a priss and said that she used to beat up girls like that in high school. Also, last week. Later, Sammi told Ronnie about how she wasn’t going to forgive J-Woww (define “irony”) and waffled about whether or not to hang out with J-Woww, Snooki and Snooki’s friend Ryder.

Speaking of Ryder, when Snooki was futilely trying to give her flight information on the phone, I thought we were going to meet a drunker, dumber version of Snooki. Instead, Ryder turned out to be pretty cool.

In other news, Vinny was faced with a “bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” dilemma. Or in his case, “two girls on the beach weren’t worth as much as the possibility of hooking up with hot Romanian Ramona.” Vinny could’ve gone to the beach with two sure things, but chose to wait around for the girl who stood him up twice. (Picking the person who treats him like dirt – how girly of him.) He seems happy with the decision, so whatever.

One person not happy with the decision was The Situation.

Earlier, when The Situation was having trouble forcing himself on women (seriously, that one girl was saying, “Can you stop please?”) he declared that it was time to go. When Snooki complained the two got into an argument for which The Situation never properly apologized. (LOVED Pauly D benefiting from The Situation’s deplorable behavior.)

Later, when the crew went out again The Situation decided he wanted Ramona for himself, and hit on her when Vinny went to the restroom. (What was Vinny supposed to do? Bring her to the bathroom – that IS what Sitch did with his Canadian chick.)

When that didn’t work (hey, when Ramona shows up, she’s loyal!) The Situation turned dark, creepily staring at Vinny and Ramona. When he tried to declare that it was time to go and was rebuffed, he forcibly tried to make out with Snooki (EWWW) and lightly smacked her in the mouth. No, it wasn’t a hard strike, but there’s never any reason to put your hands on a woman.

In the past, I’ve joked about The Situation’s insecurity, but last night he was not fun to watch. As the season winds down, I’m curious to see how this conflict between the show’s two biggest stars (The Situation and Snooki) resolves itself.

So what’d you think of this episode? If you had a pet lobster, what would you name it? (RIP lobster.) Will The Situation’s incredibly douche-y behavior hurt him on “Dancing with the Stars” this week? Finally, what the hell happened to Rocio?