Some people say that the NFL doesn't really have an offseason — what with the NFL Draft, training camps and combines to keep us busy. Still, it seems like a painfully long time since the final NFL game last season (and since Bill Bellichick and the Patriots quickly snuck out of the stadium like they'd just shoplifted something).This week, Thursday is Must-See TV night again (and, mercifully, the game isn't airing exclusively on the NFL Network) as the Giants kick off their Super Bowl defense. Let's see how they and, more importantly, I, fare this season.
(If you're new to my picks column, my predicted winners will be in bold and I'll accumulate my win-loss record a week from now — unless it's really embarrassing, in which case I may "forget.")
WASHINGTON @ N.Y. GIANTS
I disrespected the Giants all of last season and I picked them to finish last in their division this season, despite the fact that they, um, WON THE SUPER BOWL. Why would I stop the insanity now and pick them to win something?
DETROIT @ ATLANTA
I think Atlanta will actually eventually play some decent ball this year, but I just don't expect them to do so coming right out of the gate, not even against the Lions, who return most of the cast from a potent offense last year.
SEATTLE @ BUFFALO (mini-upset!)
I constantly disrespect Seattle ALMOST as much as I constantly disrespect the Giants, so I'm going with the Bills because they tell me playing defense and running the ball wins games and Buffalo can do each very well (though the have no QB). On the other hand, Seattle HAS a QB, but have an unproven running game, and are pretty terrible defensively away from home.
JACKSONVILLE @ TENNESSEE
This should be a hard-hitting game with solid play that will also probably be an unbearable bore to watch. So I probably won't. Let me know who wins.
N.Y JETS @ MIAMI
Even if they weren't playing a shitty Miami team, I'd go with the Jets/Bretts because there's no way Brett Favre (pictured, right) doesn't have a monster game his first time out, right?
KANSAS CITY @ NEW ENGLAND
No chance.
TAMPA BAY @ NEW ORLEANS
So the Bucs are going to go into New Orleans and beat the Saints without having Jeff Garcia or Joey Galloway play in the preseason? I don't think so. This reeks of the way Jon Gruden "rested" Garcia at the end of the season last year, and the team laid a turd against the Giants in the playoffs. Be on the lookout for a turd. Don't step on it.
ST. LOUIS @ PHILADELPHIA
I think Philly's crowd will be a strong factor as usual in their season debut before something horrible inevitably happens and their spirits are crushed.
HOUSTON @ PITTSBURGH (mini-upset)
I like Pittsburgh, but I picked the Texans to make the playoffs, so I HAVE to have them pulling off some surprise wins at some point, right?
CINCINNATI @ BALTIMORE
Each of these teams have a major flaw (Cincy's defense, Baltimore's offense), so it should be kind of entertaining to see if the Ravens can score on the Bengals. I think they will because Cincinnati was THAT bad on defense last year. Also, Cincy let me down so many times last year, I'm not fully recovered.
CAROLINA @ SAN DIEGO
So Carolina's Jake Delhomme is coming off of elbow surgery and his first game is on the road against San Diego's fierce defense AND he doesn't have go-to guy Steve Smith. Not good times for Jake.
ARIZONA @ SAN FRANCISCO
The only team that disappointed me more last season than Cincinnati was San Francisco (yes, it was mostly because of fantasy purposes). Also, this is the year the Cardinals stop underachieving and DO SOMETHING, right?
DALLAS @ CLEVELAND
Cleveland was great at home last year, but have looked kind of disastrous so far this year, with preseason injuries to two of their best offensive players (WR Braylon Edwards and QB Derek Anderson). Both will be able to play, but I don't think they'll play well enough to beat the Cowboys.
CHICAGO @ INDIANAPOLIS
No chance: Part II
MINNESOTA @ GREEN BAY
Those Packers fans (the ones that still aren't crying into their pillows about Favre leaving at least) are going to be majorly amped up for this game. Which is why I can't shake the feeling Aaron Rodgers is going to go out there and lay a major egg on such a big stage. Also, Vikings RB Adrian Peterson won't get hurt for, at least, three more weeks, so the Vikes should be all right
DENVER @ OAKLAND
I'm not quite sure how this game score such a prime slot, but I'll go with the Broncos by a little because I don't think QB JaMarcus Russell and RB Darren McFadden will be major factors for the Raiders just yet.
Those are my picks for Week 1 of the 2008 regular season. And because I didn't have time when I finished my preseason predictions, here's how I see things shaking out this season.
NFC PLAYOFF TEAMS
1. Dallas
2. New Orleans
3. Minnesota
4. Arizona
5. Washington
6. Tampa Bay
WILD CARD ROUND
Minnesota over Tampa Bay
Washington over Arizona
DIVISIONAL ROUND
Dallas over Washington
New Orleans over Minnesota
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
New Orleans over Dallas
AFC PLAYOFF TEAMS
1. New England
2. San Diego
3. Indianapolis
4. Pittsburgh
5. Jacksonville
6. Houston
WILD CARD ROUND
Indianapolis over Houston
Pittsburgh over Jacksonville
DIVISIONAL ROUND
San Diego over Indianapolis
New England over Pittsburgh
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
New England over San Diego
THE SUPER BOWL PICK
New England over New Orleans
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