America's Next Top Recap: Senses and Sensibility

Gee, "Top Model." Thanks for waiting until the next to last week to unleash this cycle's best episode.

And the best part is that my enjoyment of this episode had nothing to do with Marjorie being eliminated, despite the fact that I've been bagging on her for her whiny, woe-is-me attitude throughout the competition. I was actually really surprised at how disappointed I was following her elimination after Marjorie successfully made a conscious effort to readjust her attitude.

I'll touch on that a bit more later (that's what she said) because there's so much great stuff to talk about, including an awesome(ly ridiculous) tutorial by Paulina, a fantastic challenge, drunken hot tub fun (what is this? "America's Next Top Real World Contestant), and an awesome photo shoot. Ok, the photo shoot was mostly vague and lame.

The final four met Paulina for a lesson on using their five senses to help sell unlikely items, like toilet paper, fish and a letter(?). Since Paulina always tells it the way it is (the reason she annoys my girlfriend Erica, but also the reason I like her), she broke the girls down with tremendous accuracy, especially when she said that Samantha is a clown, Marjorie is the most real and that Analeigh is a great actress. McKey even seemed to pull a nice moment out of her ass when she said the stinky fish reminded her of the beach in the morning.

Later, the girls found out they'd be starring in a dialogue-free commercial with male model Mark Vanderloo. After seeing the storyboards for the commercial — which involved a female jogger checking out a hot guy in a cab, kissing him and stealing his cab — I was excited to see each of the girls actually try this commercial shoot. Then I realized the show is dealing with a CW-size budget (this ain't CBS, ABC or NBC) and the best they could afford was a treadmill.

At first, I was disappointed, but very solid performances from all the girls (including two GREAT ones) and Vanderloo's charm made this the best challenge in recent memory.

Samantha was her usual clownish self (fortunately she decided against giving Mark tongue), but I continue to find her "sweet idiot" act oddly endearing. Analeigh delivered, by far, the best acting performance, while McKey looked the most convincing as a jogger, was a bit awkward, but did a VERY nice job during her kiss (I like her shy look after the kiss and that she threw her arms around him). In the end, Marjorie had calmed her nerves enough to not fall off the treadmill (I wasn't the only one worried, right?) and deliver a funny, awkward, but winning performance that, according to Erica, was straight out of a Menthos commercial (in a good way).

Marjorie won a $10,000 denim shopping spree and shared it with BFF Analeigh, who had a strong case for winning the challenge herself. When Marjorie decided to split the shopping spree evenly, I felt that she was being a bit TOO generous, but Analeigh would soon earn that $5,000 worth of jeans.

For the first time in what seems like a long time, the contestants on this show had some boys (the boat drivers from go-sees, who came bearing pizza) over for some drunken fun. Well, it was drunken fun for Marjorie, at least. Meanwhile, the rest of the girls' idea of a party (charades, magic tricks) was more my speed.

From the beginning (and the editing of the episode), Marjorie was the only girl drinking, and she was downing wine early and often. She kissed one of the guys on a dare and eventually ended up in the hot tub fully clothed (for a change) with a guy named Bernard, who was in his underwear and said the now-immortal line, "C'mon, let's get married." Needless to say, it was great!

Even better was the way Analeigh played the "sober best friend looking out for her drunken girlfriend" part excellently. This show of solidarity was a refreshing change from the usual cutthroat insanity we usually see on reality shows, especially this one. And, honestly — who HASN'T had a party guest that won't leave?

I guess there was nowhere to go but down because this week's photo shoot was shockingly unimaginative. The girls were wearing over-the-top hair and makeup. In a field. With windmills in the background. Because they're in Amsterdam. Whatever.

Analeigh's airborne photo was named the best of the week, but the judges (and Mr. Jay) REALLY seemed to favor McKey's entire body of work during the shoot. I would argue that the chain McKey had during her shoot was a LOT easier to maneuver and work with than a rake or a shovel, but I don't want to take away from her stellar performance.

The bottom two ended up being Samantha and Marjorie. Samantha failed to impress the judges with her personal style at panel again, while she failed to impress Mr. Jay during the photo shoot until he was finally able to coax a few decent shots out of her. How dare she actually force him to do his job instead of allowing him to just sit in his chair saying, "Ooh, that's pretty."

On the other hand, Marjorie was oddly catatonic during her shoot. Mr. Jay mentioned that she looked crazy or high, but I thought she looked more like a zombie. I'm not really sure what happened there, since Marjorie seemed to have shed her nerves for the most part.

Of course, the worst part was when the judging panel criticized her for acting TOO composed and losing a significant part of her personality. This was after they'd implored her repeatedly to get her nerves under control. Now they decide she's "too composed." Holy mixed messages, Tyra! I also didn't agree with the idea that Marjorie seemed "condescending" just because she was calmly listening to the judges' critiques, instead of her usual nervous shivering.

Mostly it's a shame because Marjorie was good enough to win the competition. Instead, we'll have two girls in the finale who are capital C commercial and McKey, who may be the most improved contestant (in almost every way) the competition has ever seen.

So what'd you think of this episode? Were you also surprised that Marjorie's drinking wasn't a factor in her elimination? (No scolding from Tyra? No hangover at the photo shoot?) Is there an age limit for "Truth or Dare"? Finally, is there any way McKey doesn't win?