The Shield: These Are My Confessions

I'm not sure how many times I can claim an episode from season 7 was "the best episode EVER" of "The Shield" before I start to sound like a totally fawning fanboy.

Ah, what the hell!

Last night's episode was THE BEST EPISODE EVER (I reserve the right to change my mind after next week's 90-minute finale). This could easily be my shortest review ever since this episode can be summed up with a simple "wow!"

Ok, fine, you twisted my arm — I'll expand on this fantastic episode.

It opened with a tense sequence in which an increasingly desperate Shane attempted to rip off two druggies, one of whom had just won a lot of money gambling. The two guys knew Shane as "Trap" (not Cletus?) and they didn't know Shane was really a cop.

Or so Shane thought. As soon as his plan blew up and Shane was fighting those two guys hand-to-hand, I was just sitting in my couch waiting/dreading the moment where Mara burst in to help and took a shot in the stomach (I never would've dreamed I'd one day care about what happened to Mara). Of course, this show rarely goes the predictable route. Instead, we saw Mara kill an innocent woman and shoot another guy before the Vendrell/Hoovers made their escape.

The couple didn't exactly get away clean. Mara busted her collarbone (ouch!) while Shane picked up a bit of a drug habit after being forced to smoke some cocaine mixed with speed (yum). I laughed out loud after he told Mara that he did MORE drugs the next day to "even himself out." Shane's always been an idiot, but this is a whole new level for him. Then I realized that Shane was probably coked up when he was pointing the gun at Tina after she and Julien spotted his car — and that she's lucky she didn't get her face blown off (nice job out of Paula Garces in this scene).

Indeed, Vic and Shane seem locked in a race to see who can fall apart the fastest.

Since Shane was getting desperate and sloppy(er), Vic figured Shane would be caught within a few days, which meant he had to have his deal from I.C.E. pronto. That meant he had to convince Beltran to move up his planned drug shipment two days, which he did very easily and very convincingly in that singular way Vic can where he makes it seem like the best possible option in the world.

Unfortunately, his powers of persuasion were a bit less effective with Agt. Murray who refused to fast track Vic's immunity and employment request. I was actually on Vic's side in this instance. Although his purposes were selfish, Vic WAS responsible for salvaging her professional career, so seeing him brush him aside was unacceptable. I'm not really sure I 100% bought Aceveda (Vic's long time nemesis) stepping up to the plate for him, but soon Vic was back on the drug cartel bust and had gotten his deal.

The only problem was that the deal only covered him and not Ronnie. Since we've gotten to know Vic and his fierce loyalty over the last seven years, we knew there was no way he'd take the deal excluding Ronnie with his long time partner standing right there. We also knew this would likely be a mistake.

Unfortunately for Vic, his partner wasn't the one to walk into a Claudette/Dutch setup this week. Vic sniffed out the police, but watched his ex-wife get (fake) arrested. The fact that Vic went back and accepted the deal — and therefore leave his partner in the lurch in exchange for (fake)saving his ex-wife — is probably one of the kindest things he's ever (fake)done for her. It's kind of a tragedy that it's all for nothing.

Of course, this was all merely a buildup to the sequence that will go down with the best in this landmark show's history.

The condition of Vic's immunity and I.C.E. employment was that he was to confess EVERY ONE of his illegal activities. I swear that was followed by the longest dramatic pause this year before, tentatively, at first, confessing to killing Terry Crowley. He knew he'd done it, we knew he'd done it, but it was still jarring to hear Vic say those words out loud. Also, kudos to Laurie Holden, whose shocked/appalled expressions during Vic's confession are her best work on this show.

I know I've been rightfully singing the Emmy praises of Walton Goggins all season, but let's not forget Michael Chiklis. He was unbelievable in the confession scene. As Vic talked about his misdeeds, Chiklis infused the character with only a hint of shame, and a surprisingly healthy portion of defiance and, yes, PRIDE. "I was too good," he said of Acevada and Jon Kavanaugh's failed attempts to nail him. The key word in that statement being "was" since he's been finally forced to spill his guts and throw a loyal partner under the bus. Then again, as Victor Samuel Mackey would say: "I've done worse."

Almost as good was Claudette's absolute freakout after realizing that Vic had wormed away from her clutches YET AGAIN. The fact that she knew the truth and that Ronnie is likely going to prison for the rest of his life was no consolation to her. That's what the Coyote must feel like after failing to catch the Road Runner. She even (temporarily, I think) fired Dutch for his Mackey-esque dealings with Billings and the child molester they had arrested a few weeks ago. CCH Pounder is always incredible (I think it'd be compelling to watch her do a crossword puzzle), but she stood out last night. Hopefully, Emmy voters were watching this episode.

Which happened to be the Best. Episode. Ever. (Unless you can come up with a better one?)

So what'd you think of this episode? Honestly, why the hell haven't Shane and Mara skipped town? (My girlfriend and "Shield" newbie Erica wants to know!) Wasn't it weird that other cops seemed to know that Danny was gone, but the show made us think she was running away? Why do you think Lloyd has been calling Dutch with his mom's cell phone? (Please don't get shot, Dutch, please don't get shot.) Will Vic try to warn Ronnie? Finally, what's the one thing you DON'T want to see happen in the finale? (Please don't get shot, Dutch.)