Dancing with the Stars: Ham Solos

Ok, so now that Susan Lucci and her freakishly skinny arms are gone, we can finally get down to the real competition between the final five talented (yet oddly unexciting) dancers.

In keeping with this season's Lacey-esque theme of wanting to change things for no apparent reason, the show introduced a 15-second solo for each celebrity during their Latin round. Unlike most of the other changes, I felt like this one worked.

Brooke Burke stayed atop the leaderboard with two fierce, impressive and challenging routines. Her tango was up first and, while I loved the first part, I agree with Len that the couple seemed a bit off in the middle. However, Len lost me after that when he started giving really specific critiques to Brooke because (thanks to Carrie Ann proclaiming that she's as good as the pros) of the impossibly high standards she has to meet now. Meanwhile, Bruno and Carrie Ann predictably gushed about the tango and Carrie Ann even ignored a lift (which my girl Erica caught), thereby confirming my theory that Bruno and Carrie Ann don't even watch Brooke dance anymore and just give her 10s.

Well that's not exactly true, since Bruno was CLEARLY watching Brooke shake her ass in front of the judges table during her mambo solo. As the judges said, her solo fit most naturally with the dance, but I also found it to be the least interesting thing (Bruno would disagree) in a ridiculously challenging mambo routine. Brooke's wig, on the other hand, was just ridiculous.

On the other hand, Cody's solo was probably technically the worst, but I enjoyed it the most. Bonus points for incorporating a one-armed pushup, a dive onto the judges table and the slightest hint of a samba.

Unfortunately, that was pretty much the highlight of the night for Cody. The judges gave him decent marks on his charming fox trot and his (weirdly slow and plodding) samba (pictured, left), but both were pretty forgettable except for that solo. In fact, I think I enjoyed watching Edyta try to keep Cody's friends from drooling on her more than anything Cody did on the dance floor, which is part of the reason why he was tied for last place on the leaderboard.

Fortunately for him, the judges and producers don't seem to want him to go anywhere (and miss the chance to see Julianne Hough's return), since the ever-improving Maurice Greene got under-scored for both of his dances and tied Cody for last place.

I think his quickstep (where he travelled around the entire floor very easily) was his best dance yet and I like that he admitted that being a sprinter had nothing to do with his success in the dance (seriously, people). He deserved a 9. Similarly, his paso doble (including impressive cape work) was an improvement over his solo performance during his solo in last week's team battle, but the judges seemed decidedly lukewarm. By dropping him into a tie with Cody, the show is essentially asking the fans to decide who gets to stay — advantage Cody (and comeback kid Julianne).

It was nice to see Warren Sapp bounce back this week and have some fun. I actually preferred his fun tango to Brooke's more polished, technical performance of the same dance. On the other hand, his jive was kind of a mess. I know he's a big guy and I continue to be astonished by his light-footedness, but that jive just didn't look right. And neither did his solo, which I'm guessing was supposed to have some Charleston action, but mainly made him look like he was playing hopscotch. The judges disagreed and gave him high marks.

Finally, there was Lance and Lacey, who this week decided to play it relatively straight for Len's sake, after last week's barefoot debacle. And next week, they'll take a chance after playing it safe this week. I see the pattern and I say "whatever". The best part is that, no matter what they do, Len always gives them a lower score than the other two judges. I guess he's a Backstreet Boys guy.

Unfortunately, Lance didn't do anything memorable on the dance floor. His fox trot was mostly charming, but sometimes clunky, while his samba was fun, but unspectacular. The most memorable thing about his solo was that Carrie Ann inexplicably called him out for looking upwards too much (I'll admit that I sometimes forget that set has a balcony), but seriously, who cares? Almost as inexplicably, Len called his footwork "atrocious". Really, Len? It's THAT bad? Why didn't you say anything before? Go listen to "I Want It That Way" and ease up a bit on this couple already.

So what'd you think of this episode? I know we grade people on a curve (hello, Cloris), but is Len being too tough on Brooke? Will Carrie Ann ever complain about something people care about? Finally, is there any chance Maurice sticks around instead of Cody?