Dancing with the Stars: Final-ly Free

After a week's worth of buildup touting "Dancing with the Stars'" most competitive finale three — I actually believed that claim, in that all three finalists had a real shot at winning — Monday night's final performance episode was surprisingly meh.

And that was even after I got over my extreme annoyance that the first half hour of the show was a complete of waste of time. The segment in which each of the finalists recounted their favorite dance — and we had to sit through said dance — was SO "results show" and ended up having nothing to do with Monday's finale except giving us a sneak peek at the yellow color palette for the night's first performance.

Once the dancers hit the floor for the Samba Smackdown, I was actually pretty encouraged. I liked the idea of a Samba Smackdown and the freestyle round, as opposed to rehashing past dances like they've done in previous season finales.

I think each of the finalists did a pretty terrific job in their individual spots and the group portion of the dance.

Brooke drew a small disco ball with the number 1 tucked inside from a larger disco ball, which meant she and Derek would leadoff the dance. As usual, Brooke was incredibly impressive, but I felt like the dance showcased Derek a LOT more than Brooke (although I DID appreciate them throwing a samba roll in there for me). I'm especially talking about the moment where Brooke appeared to stick her hand out for Derek to grab, but he was too busy doing five turns in midair or something. As usual, the judges hardly noticed or cared. Well, Bruno definitely noticed Brooke and told her that "everyone would like to drive that model." This elicited the typical reaction anyone has to Bruno: "Huh", shortly followed by "Ick."

I actually thought Lance and Lacey's solo was WAY fiercer than Brooke's AND gave Lance more to do. Of course, the judges scored it a few points lower than Brooke's, highlighted by DANCMSTR's (and Lance and Lacey nemesis) 8. Really, Len? An 8?!

Warren brought up the rear and, as usual, was the crowd pleaser. As the judges pointed out, there appeared to be more content in his samba than usual, which is encouraging because there's a real chance that Warren might win the ugly mirror ball trophy, so it's nice to see him give a damn about getting better technically. Len, of course, was less than impressed, giving him a 7 (I thought anything lower than an 8 was banned from the final performance episode.)

Up next was the freestyle round. Tom repeatedly hyped it as the most eagerly anticipated portion of the competition, and I agreed with him. It's a chance for each couple to break out of the show's sometimes-constricting ballroom bubble AND show their creativity in the process.

While I don't agree AT ALL with Len's assessment that Brooke and Derek's freestyle was the best he'd ever seen (off the top of my head, Drew and Cheryl's freestyle was better), I still appreciated the incredible level of difficulty involved. I also appreciated the fact that Brooke eventually ditched that awful pink (ladies) dress she was wearing in favor of a sparkly pink pant and tank combo. Maybe, I'll appreciate it when I watch it again, but to me it felt a bit like a glorified and slightly stiff jive with a BUNCH of lifts thrown in.

Not to be outlifted, Kym made sure she threw enough lifts for Warren to execute during their freestyle to "Proud Mary." I liked that Warren and Kym, at least, started out ballroom dancing before launching into an all-lift fest, but my favorite part was still the fact that almost every time Kym did a lift, she'd lose about 8 percent of her sparkly costume (thanks to Tom for pointing out that each sparkle represents a full costume for Edyta). The dance earned a 10 from Len, following some self-reflection for giving their samba a 7.

While I feel that too many lifts in a freestyle can make viewers numb to genuine "wow" moments in a routine, I'd much rather see too many attempts at "wow" than not enough.

In a related story, Lancey's freestyle was a complete failure. Not only did it not feature any truly "wow" moments, it wasn't even that good of a hip hop routine (Jason and Edyta's freestyle from last season was more pure fun). Add to that the pitfalls in performing a hip-hop routine in your last chance to make an impression in a ballroom competition (again, see Taylor, Jason) and it adds up to Lance and Lacey leaving a bad taste in everybody's mouth after their final routine. The best part was their song choice, which inspired Len to throw up a gang sign and say "tricky, tricky, tricky" — ok, so it wasn't a complete waste.

As someone who's picked Lance to win all season and who considers last week's mambo to be the best dance of the season, I kinda hope he loses for crapping the bed so badly with the freestyle.

It's particularly disappointing for Lancey because I believe that if they'd finished anywhere near Brooke (or just in second place) the competition would be theirs because of his much bigger fan base.

On the other hand, you have to give Brooke credit — she went out there and did exactly what she was supposed to do. I don't believe Brooke's fan base is even close to being as big as Lance and Warren's, so she HAD to finish atop the leader board (and the judges had to over score her two more times ) for her to have a chance of winning.

Of course, the fact that Lance is tied with Warren opens the door for the big fella. Don't discount the idea that his fan base (he's, by far, the most popular competitor) might be big enough to overtake Brooke for the title. Then again, he's not even close to being worthy of the championship. I know the best dancer doesn't usually, I mean always, win, but Warren winning would be a new level of farce — even for this show.

So what'd you think of this episode? Which past contestant from this season are you looking forward to seeing the most during the final results show? (Don't say Cloris) Finally, who ya got? Going into last night, I would've said Lance, but after last night I say...Warren! (Sorry, there's just something disengaging about Brooke that stops me, and I suspect other, from fully embracing her.)