American Idol: Lucky 13

Sorry if I’m late with this recap of the “Idol” wild card show, but there really isn’t much to say.

At least not when the judges had CLEARLY decided who they were going to advance to the top 12, er 13 before anyone sang a word on Thursday. (In a related story, Anoop being added as the 13th finalist is a frontrunner for the Least Shocking “Shocker” award this year.)

If you don’t believe me then you probably still think the Earth is flat. Or you believe that four scattershot judges can come to a reasonable, informed decision on who advances to the final in a two-and-a-half-minute commercial break.

Here’s a quick rundown of the evening’s performers:

Jesse Langseth: Probably my favorite person coming into last night – I REALLY wish she had picked a different song than the non-showcasey “Tell Me Something Good.” Dances as sexily and naturally as Megan Joy Corkrey wishes she did.

Matt Giraud: If he’d sung “Who’s Lovin’ You” the first time, he wouldn’t be performing in the wild card round – he’d already be in the finals.

Megan Joy Corkrey: Picked a good song for her voice again (“Black Horse and a Cherry Tree), but I CANNOT ignore the tragic dancing. It’s painful how much the judges want her to be the new Adele or Duffy – because what America needs is an inferior version of Adele or Duffy.

Von Smith: What’s his secret? He can’t sing well unless he’s yelling.

Jasmine Murray: Sounds exactly like a dozen or so other R&B/pop singers. Also, “Mulan”? Really?!

Ricky Braddy: He’s good, but am I the only one who can’t understand a single word this guy is saying when he’s singing? (Actually, I’m not because I turned to my girlfriend Erica for translation and she had no clue what he was saying either.) Finally, could his pants have been ANY tighter?

Tatiana del Toro: After getting over the mere fact that she was here, I had the same impression as before. Good singer, but why is she so CRAZY? Also, singing the same song is a no-no if you don’t switch it up...

Anoop Desai (pictured, right): ...unless you’re Anoop and you revisit your popular “My Prerogative” performance. Then it’s perfectly ok.

From the start it was obvious that the judges wanted Anoop (who IS charismatic and incredibly popular), Megan (American Adele), Jasmine (Commercial with a capital “C” – I know because they mention it every time she’s on stage) and Matt (his “Viva La Vida” was AWFUL – so to bring him back after that train wreck tells you they REALLY wanted him in the finals). On top of that, Anoop was probably the only person in the country who thought he was actually going home after Matt picked up spot #12.

After watching this atrocity of a wild card show I’m more inclined than ever to agree that the reason people like Ju’not Joyner and Kristin McNamara were not picked for the Wild Card show is because they would outperform the judges’ preconceived picks and make the show look even more rigged than it already is.

Then again, this top 13 may go out there and put on some spectacular performances. Ok, maybe not. How about this? This top 13 may go out there and put on an entertaining program for the next 13 weeks, even if they’re not the 13 best singers that could’ve competed for the title of this year’s American Idol.

That’s the thing. As much as fans like to rail about the integrity of the competition, this, first and foremost, is a TV show. And, like “The Bachelor” earlier this week, TV producers know that even if you outrage your fans, they’re still talking about you. And that’s better than being ignored.

So what’d you think of the wild card show? Which three from the show would you have put through? (Based on the performances, I would’ve picked Matt, Jesse and Anoop.)