Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: No Can(cer) Do

I’ll give the writers of this show credit.

Despite blatantly (cheaply?) bailing out on one of its most provocative storylines (the impending death of one of its major characters), I’m not really all that pissed off. Not only that, but I’m REALLY looking forward to seeing what happens from here on out.

All this time we’ve been wondering how the scribes were going to write themselves out of the “Christian is dying” corner, and the whole “your lab results got switched” solution was not exactly very artful.

However, the shocked/pained look on Christian’s face (great job by Julian McMahon) as he was about to head out on his honeymoon with Liz and Wibur was brilliant. The game is now on to see how long before his marriage to Liz collapses, right?

This all followed an episode where Christian learned to let go of his false hope for immortality and had finally seemed ready to settle in and end his life as happily as he could with his new wife.

It wasn’t easy, since Kimber was back raising hell after being kicked out of her house (and bed) by Ram and Eden (AnnaLynne McCord back again from the “90210” for a quick scene). I’m actually surprised Eden hadn’t worked her evil charms on Ram sooner and convinced him that Kimber was washed up.

I thought this was the perfect opportunity to show Kimber in a more sympathetic light. However, the writers continued their mission to keep her as a raging bitch as she dumped her baby on Matt (who pathetically tried to hit on her anyway) and decided to try to break up Christian and Liz’s wedding after finding about the nuptials from Matt. Fortunately, Liz is considerably less pathetic than Matt, saw that Kimber just wanted to get a nice apartment and a nice chunk of inheritance money and handled Kimber very well. However, the wedding scene where Kimber stood up and simply walked out seemed to indicate she was genuinely hurt and still really loves Christian.

I wasn’t really loving the patients of the week. I get that the patients often parallel what the doctors are feeling and the bloodsuckers represented a form of immortality for Christian. However, they were mostly just tedious and stupid. They were actually some of the least interesting vampires I’ve ever seen. Christian thought so too, throwing them a bag of blood and sending them on their way.

I was actually more amused by Christian’s scheme to have himself cryogenically frozen. He was met the way he should have — by laughs from Sean, Liz and Matt. It was even better when he found out the reality wasn’t as sleek or stylish as he’d described it. I can’t blame the guy. I wouldn’t want a roommate in my coffin or urn, so why should Christian have one in his ice chamber.

Meanwhile, we got a little more insight into why Teddy is as crazy as she is. Actually, no we didn’t — we just got a bunch of scenes of her acting crazy for no good reason.

She’s been living a double life as a wigged anesthesiologist in Las Vegas, which is where she apparently picked up her little nitrous oxide habit. I guess that habit may be the reason she’s insane since she suffocated the (grosser) Vegas doctor. Will Sean (who may be developing a taste for the gas himself) be next? I wish I were interested enough in this crazy-for-no-reason character to answer my own question.

So what’d you think of this episode? Who do you think is the real love of Christian’s life? Liz or Kimber? (Since it’s obviously not Julia.) Was I the only one who didn’t realize how soon the wedding was going to be? Didn’t the guy vampire kinda look like Daughtry? How fast should Christian sue his stupid doctor? Finally, do you think this was a satisfying season finale? (I didn't even realize it was the season finale until today. As an episode it was ok. As a finale it was pretty meh.)