America's Next Top Recap: Plus a Minus

Last night's episode of "Top Model" (the best in this cycle) was so entertaining, I didn't even mind the fact that my pick to win it all got (unfairly) sent home.

Before I get to that, I want to get to this — Heather is the clearest front-runner in anything I've seen in a long time (yes, even more so than the New England Patriots). I mean, at this point, who, in this mostly unremarkable pack of girls can take her down? Anyone at all?!

As if to show us how mostly unremarkable these girls are, Tyra had them outfitted in hideous beige leotards which (as Erica astutely pointed out) ended up making Tyra look even more like the superduper star she is in comparison to these girls. Tyra was there to teach the girls how to move like a model, including moves they'd use when they're not on the runway, such as the non-hoochie wall slide, and crawling on the ground ("like you're cleaning the floor"). Hokay.

Some of the girls did ok (I expected Lisa to do a little better, since she's a stripper, er, bikini dancer), but it was Heather who received praise from Tyra for her floor-cleaning skills, much to the chagrin of Bianca, who got her bitch back on big time last night. I actually did the scientific research, and Bianca spent 92% of her airtime last night hating on Heather. I don't know why I'm surprised.

Bianca's always been a bitch toward the front-runner (first Lisa, now Heather), but it's slightly disappointing, seeing as how I'd almost warmed to her since she got her stupid pink hair chopped off, and she'll likely be around for many more weeks to complain, since she's the third-best girl in the competition after Heather and Lisa.

For the second week in a row (or I should say second new episode, since last week we got one of those annoying recap episodes I never see coming), we got some genuine star power as the girls' challenge was to appear in a vampire-riffic Enrique Iglesias video (a lamer version of which was shot sans "Top Model" contestants to keep the show's results up to that point a secret). When the goth theme was revealed, there was no doubt Heather would receive the featured role (which she did), leading Bianca to punch a wall (they obviously edited that part out).

During the shoot, Heather passed out from exhaustion (thought he slow-mo camerawork probably made it look more exciting than it was). Wait, we have breaking news — apparently, a model-wannabe was not eating properly (or eating at all)! Seriously though, it was nice to see the rest of the girls show genuine concern for their fellow competitor — except, of course, for Bitchanca who remarked that the competition was "too tough" for Heather.

For the most part, the girls performed well in the video. I was especially impressed by Heather (flirting very convincingly with Enrique in her featured role), Lisa (fiercely blocking his way with her long leg) and Saleisha (outshining Sarah in their shared shot). My least favorite was Chantal, who Erica correctly pointed out is SO middle-of-the-pack, but who I just think is completely lousy. Also, Bianca made a lot of kissy faces, Jenah smiled too much, Ambreal was accused for looking to hoochie as she writhed against a column (not sure how she could've avoided that trap) and Sarah looked uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, I loved how Enrique's role in the video appeared to be to aimlessly wander from one place in the underground club to another with a blank look on his face.

In the end, it was no shocker that Sarah got sent home, as the editing of tonight's episode focused on her concern's about her disappearing weight (I guess SHE wasn't the one eating Heather's food) and where that would leave her as a "plus-size" model. Well, according to the judges, that left her as a nobody who took decent, but not outstanding pictures, which just sends a great message to young women out there. What's that message, you say? I'll let Jack Donaghy (pictured, right) of 30 Rock (in the season 2 premiere) break it down for you:

"She needs to lose 30lbs or gain 60. Anything in between has no place on television."

So what'd you think of this episode? Is there ANY way Heather can lose (assuming she doesn't die from starvation)? Did you like how they basically chose the main girl for the video based on how they looked in their ultra-skimpy outfit, as opposed to, you know, having them DO something? Finally, what do you think Mr. Jay did during his week off?