Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Holy Crap!

Ok, so that was the most disgusting opening for a TV show I've ever seen. Actually, it's probably the most disgusting thing I've seen on TV all year. It could also be the most disgusting thing I've seen this year period. If it's not the most disgusting thing I've seen in any year, then my mind has subconsciously blacked out whatever that revolting so I wouldn't remember.

We'll just go with top 10 most disgusting thing ever. (Ooh, I smell a column).

Actually, I smell diarrhea after Kate let loose all over Sean's hot tub while they were in there together. Ok, so I didn't smell it (thank god), but I did see it and I wish I hadn't. Apparently, Kate (pictured, left), the "Hearts 'N Scalpels" actress with body issues, was on laxatives after binge-eating to match her co-star. When she and Sean first hooked up, I thought it was kinda sweet, but now it's looking like this chick has way too many issues.

Of course, Sean, being the noble one, will likely stick it out for a few more weeks. As for me, I can only give kudos to actress Paula Marshall. I don't like to throw the word "brave" around when it comes to actors because it's not like they're running into a burning building, but I'll just say that I'm not 100% sure I would've agreed to star in that craptastic scene.

Meanwhile, Sean was distracted by Eden (as in "Garden of" — who talks like that?) who wanted a surgery to restore her hymen, which she claimed was broken during a bumpy horse ride. Apparently, the girl was telling the truth after her mom (surprise, Olivia, Julia's girlfriend) confirmed the story. It was fun watching Sean be tempted (because Dylan Walsh plays being flustered so well), but I wonder if this was a one-episode thing (since Julia, Olivia and family appear headed back to New York) or if they plan to keep this up (if so, how?)

Although the episode was titled "Everett Poe", we only got one brief, amusing scene with the plastic surgery addict and Christian. Would've liked to see that followed through some more. Instead, we got Christian trying to sleep with Julia for the umpteenth time (though he actually succeeded for a change). Unfortunately for him, it turned out the whole thing was Olivia's idea to "get KRIS-tee-ehn (as Julia would say) out of her system.

Later in the evening, Christian wound up in a bar playing male escort to a lonely older woman for no good reason. This sequence was so confusing that I actually caught the rerun of the episode right after the show first aired to see if I missed something. Nope.

Finally, we had the return of Matt with his creepy eyebrows. He claimed that he took the baby from Kimber because she had given all their money away to Scientology. Although he seemed genuine, I didn't exactly buy it and felt a twist coming. I didn't see the twist coming — turns out Matt and Kimber have become drug addicts hitting up Matt's two dads for cash. In case you didn't get it, the show hit you over the head with it by using Amy Winehouse's "Rehab."

Although I'm interested to find out how that happened (since Kimber was living so healthy last year) and how Sean and Christian will react, I'm a little leery of the show becoming once again refocusing on Matt, Kimber and Julia, after such a good Sean-and-Christian centered premiere.

So what'd you think of this episode? You looking forward to seeing Rosie O'Donnell back on the show next week? (I am!) Is Julia really gay or just bi-curious, as Liz claimed? (Methinks Liz is right) Finally, what do you think they used to simulate the you-know-what in the hot tub?