Dancing with the Stars: DANCMSTR Class

So what do you think happened to all the judges' paddles on "Dancing with the Stars" numbered 1-8? Were they recycled? Given to another needy reality competition show? Wait a minute, why am I STARTING OFF the recap with questions when that's how it's supposed to be ending?!

Even though the judges were handing out 30s like they were candy last night (especially to Helio and Mel B., who each scored a perfect 60 for their two dances), what was probably my favorite dance of the evening didn't get one.

Instead, Marie's quickstep to quickstep to "Good Mornin'" (yay! "Singin' in the Rain"!was tagged with a 29, which seemed downright disrespectful given the scores flying around last night. Still, their routine was cute, funny and had plenty of content, which the judges had lectured Marie on last week. In fact, you could've had a drinking game involving the use of the word "content" that would've had you knocked out before the start of their dance. It was almost as frequent as references to Marie's family.

Not to be outdone, said family was incorporated into the end of their madcap (as described by Bruno perfectly) mambo, which ended with Marie sprawled across her siblings' laps, achieving the rare "kinda cute/kinda creepy" daily double.

Of course, Marie landed at the bottom of the leaderboard again even though (for my money) she outdanced Jennie Garth. Jennie and Derek's tango at the beginning was solid, but done in by a completely weird song choice and Jennie only committing about 97 percent. Maybe she was still distracted by thoughts of a surprisingly nimble Mickey Mouse showing off his moves.

She later redeemed herself with a cha cha cha that was probably (no definitely!) her best dance of the season, and maybe even deserving of the perfect 30 she got from the judges. Still, I have a feeling it'll be Marie joining Mel B. and Helio in the finals. How would you feel about that Jennie? "Umm, I don't know why'd you put US there?" I've said it before, and I'll say it again Jennie, but if you don't give a damn about being there, why should I give a damn about you being there?

As I mentioned before, Helio and Mel B. scored perfect 60s last night. The only problem is that I really only thought one of each of their routines were worthy of that score.

So while I like Mel B's Viennese waltz after watching it a second time, I still think it was a bit too step-py and not enough glide-y (which I'm told are official words). Still, I like that they tried to do something unexpected and surprising for a Viennese waltz. As for their paso doble, the judges summed it up perfectly in showing their amazement that Mel could follow up her fierce performance of "Free Your Mind" with an equally fierce, but mostly different paso doble.(The couples had a hand in choosing what dance to do for their performances.) Bonus points for composing herself after a seemingly awkward start before the music started.

In my mind Mel B slightly outdanced Helio, who delivered a fox trot that I REALLY liked (I don't care for the fox trot at all) and I thought earned his 30. His cha cha cha afterwards — not so much. I like that it was silly and complicated (as all of Julianne's routines are), but the problem was that Helio was doing most of the silly moves, while Julianne was handling the complicated ones.

In between, we had the Len Goodman (pictured, right) paying his now-yearly visit to the couples and lecturing them on what they need to work on (Marie's hips, Jennie's arms, etc). In fact, Len probably had the best night he's ever had on the show, highlighted by his outta leftfield singing of the "SexyBack" lyric "I'll let you whip me if I misbehave" following Mel B.'s paso. Yikes.

So what'd you think of last night's episode? Do you think a weird song choice (or a weird version of a perfectly good song) can affect how a dance is perceived? Which Spice Girl do you think producers will try to coax into participating next year (since they were hanging around the set)? Who do you have advancing into the final 3? Finally, how awesome was it to see Len's DANCMSTR limo back again?