Dancing with the Stars: The New 30

I was especially interested in seeing last night’s episode of “Dancing with the Stars” because the show would be introducing the Lindy hop, my preferred style of dance for the better part of the last six years.

So it was both disappointing and a pleasant surprise that my two favorite routines of the evening were both Argentine tangos (also making its debut on the show.) As for the style of dancing I was REALLY looking forward to seeing, it was more like, “Would you like some Lindy hop with all those lifts?)

In honor of my and Samantha Harris’ sore throat (I SWEAR they’re not related), let’s take a cough drop and look at yesterday’s couples, in order of appearance:

David Alan Grier and Kym: I don’t remember these two doing anything really wrong in their Lindy hop. Then again, I don’t really remember too much about the routine in general (except for Grier’s cummerbund and a dual cartwheel) so that may be the problem. If you look at the brief footage of the Lindy hop club David and Kym went to, people weren’t flying through the air at all times — just sayin’.

Sadly, this would be the first of many cases in which the pros (unfamiliar with this style of dance) just seemingly threw a bunch of side-by-side dancing and lifts that have little to do with the Lindy hop into their routines. (I hate to go all Len on you, but somebody has to since Len seemed to take the night off from being all Len-ny.)

Lil’ Kim and Derek: This was one of my two favorite dances of the night and the first to score a 10 this year. Once again, Kim surprisingly looks the part of a ballroom dancer. One of the few instances in which Len DID go all Len-ny and slammed Derek for not interpreting the dance correctly. I didn’t care because I was mostly mesmerized by the move in which Derek quickly lifted Kim in the air and she kept her leg parallel to the ground. You can tell these two just enjoy each other. Kim is locked in a super tight battle with Shawn Johnson for that last spot in the top 3 this season.

Chuck Wicks and “Jules”: Question: if Chuck is so scared of landing on his head, why not just have him be the one who flips Julianne? Ugh, I’m just not into this “cute-by-design” couple at all. The judges seem to feel the same way, throwing out words like “competent” as “praise.”

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta: LT seems to have inherited the “: It’s Complicated” rehearsal mantle from Denise Richards. He’s still WAY over-thinking his dances and he and Edyta seemed to lose patience with each other. Appears to suffer from an inability to have fun. Still, while his tango WAS a bit plodding, Len giving it a 5 is probably the most preposterous score this year. Seriously. Finally, what is Alec Mazo doing with his time when he’s not helping former football players with their tango as a favor to his wife?

Ty Murray and Chelsie: Looked a LOT like Steve Wozniak when they started showing his video package (a brief oopsie by the producers). Do I dare say this was my favorite Lindy hop of the evening? Yes I do (if only for authenticity’s sake). Ty is still awkward when he’s dancing on his own, but he’s not nearly the train wreck he was in week 1. If you had bet me $5,000 that he’d EVER get a 9 after his week 1 cha cha, I would’ve taken that bet (and I would’ve lost). Chelsie should just change her name to Annie Sullivan (You know, because of “The Miracle Worker”? Nevermind, I’m a dork.)

Steve Wozniak and Karina: I liked that he looked at his improvement from a 10 to 12 as a “20 percent increase.” What else can I add that I haven’t already said about this guy (other than Karina wearing almost nothing to compensate for Edyta being almost fully-clothed)? I’ll turn it over to someone else. Who’s meaner? Bruno for cruelly saying the only thing Woz and his tango brought back from Buenos Aires was the stench (Argentinean burn!) or my girlfriend Erica for saying, “Maybe if he didn’t ride around on a Segway all the time, he wouldn’t be so out of shape.”

Melissa Rycroft and Tony: She makes extremely difficult routines look very easy. Unfortunately, this was really a freestyle masquerading as a Lindy hop, and her final lift was executed better in their rehearsal footage than it was live. Of course, since she’s destined to be in the finals, no one seemed to care and she got a 29 out of 30.

Holly Madison and Dmitry: I actually think she’s gotten a little better every week (emphasis on “a little”). Most of her work is still train wreck-y (almost fell off a stool this week) and she is almost certainly going home after being in the bottom two AND losing the dance off last week. Hopefully she can go home and go back to wearing shirts that allow people to clearly see her bra and rest her injured ribs (which, by the way, only hurt every time you breathe.)

Steve-O and Lacey: I had high expectations for Lacey’s/Katy Perry’s Lindy hop routine, since it’s right in her wheelhouse. However, there’s nothing she can do to keep Steve-O from constantly being a step behind. Am I the only one who didn’t think it was a terrible idea for him to perform in his clown costume?

Gilles Marini and Cheryl: The highest compliment you can give a celeb on this show (unless you’re third-place finisher Stacy Keibler) is that you can’t tell which person is the pro when they’re dancing. This is absolutely true in Gilles case. From the slicked-back hair and immaculate costume to the hot moves on the dance floor, he looked the part of an Argentine tango-er. Best routine of the season, so far. It also turns out he’s a brilliant actor, because I actually believed he was worried about his dance. It was so hot that Carrie Ann looked completely hot and bothered.

Shawn Johnson and Mark: These two are consistently delivering the most entertaining rehearsal footage. (Their trip to that gymnastics center was entertaining in every way). I couldn’t tell if their shirts said “Shark” or “Shmark” (probably the former). I agree that her steps were a bit plodding and the dance didn’t flow as well, but she had very good Lindy hop posture. Why did “too many lifts” become an issue all of a sudden in the evening’s last dance? I believe the goofy outfits (and the fact that she didn’t have heart broken on “The Bachelor”) contributed to her being underscored.

So what’d you think of this episode? Wasn’t Samantha Harris actually a little more coherent than usual? (I think her cold made her actually THINK more about her words?) Do you think it was too early for the season’s first 30? (I don’t buy into that — a 30 is a 30 no matter when it comes in the season.) Finally, which two celebs are going home? (I think we’ll say goodbye to Holly and Steve-O.)

24: Surprise, Surprise

Well I didn’t see that one coming.

I didn’t see that other one coming either.

Despite the fact that this proves I’m extremely gullible, I think the lion’s share of the credit should still go to the “24” writers for successfully pulling off not one, but two neat twists in the same hour — for now. In a few paragraphs I’ll talk about why one of the twists was probably unnecessary, while the other has seemingly backed the writers into a corner.

The hour picked up with Jack waiting for the Center for Disease Control people to determine if he was infected. We’ve seen many Jacks this season — Awesome Jack, Mournful Jack, Simple Jack (ok, maybe not the last one) — but I don’t believe we’d (ever) seen Defeated Jack. Watching the CDC people in their biohazard suits hose down a nude Bauer (something for the ladies) and ask for spinal fluid samples (ouch!), and then watching Jack sadly ride in the CDC truck waiting for his results while wearing those impossibly white scrubs, made him seem more isolated than he already usually is.

Turns out the bio weapon Starkwood had been testing in Sangala causes Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, featuring nasty symptoms like paralysis and dementia. When the oddly-fetching CDC lady broke the quarantine to hand him his results, things were looking up. Unfortunately, it turns out that Jack IS infected, but the disease he’s carrying is not contagious.

While Jack stoically dealt with the news (although I liked the way Kiefer Sutherland let a little fear and sadness creep into his performance), Renee was a mess. Larry informed her about Jack’s condition and Renee was devastated by the news, even shedding a few tears as she attempted to keep herself together. Moss also apologized for not believing her or Jack, but at this point, Renee was CLEARLY not listening anymore. I get that Renee and Jack worked closely through some intense experiences throughout this day, but I never really got that there was love there. Maybe it’s just me. In fact, it’s probably just me because the show has obviously been going in that direction for a while. (It’s likely the reason Moss would always get so irrationally jealous of Jack — because Renee was “in love” with him and he could see it.)

More importantly, I’m curious to see where the writers are going with this. As I mentioned last week, it’s doubtful they’ll kill Bauer off, but the show made a point of saying there was no cure for Jack’s disease and that he should be dead within a day or two. On “Nip/Tuck” this season, the show flirted with killing its main character with a disease before pulling the old “your test results got switched” routine. I just hope the “24” writers have something more creative than, “By the way, Starkwood DID develop a secret antidote to the disease.”)

The more I think about it, the more likely that seems given that Renee and Jack were pretty much the only people left behind when the FBI tried to take over Starkwood and will almost certainly be called into action. The scene where Moss told Jack he couldn’t go was funny (“I always knew eventually we’d agree on something”) and sad (the notion that Jack is no longer considered one of the best men because of his disease. (Of course, at this point I imagined Jack getting dementia in the middle of a firefight, forgetting whose side he was on and shooting Moss by accident.)

The reason Moss and Co. need rescuing is, primarily, my boy Greg Seaton. For weeks, the show has been establishing that Jonas Hodges’ right-hand man had doubts about the operation, but it turns out the show’s been playing us the entire time almost as well as Seaton played Tony.

Tony, if you recall, had been captured by Starkwood baddie Stokes and was being interrogated forcefully. Hodges correctly surmised that Tony wouldn’t talk and (after another amusing/sinister scene — the type Jon Voight has mastered on “24” this year) ordered Stokes to kill him. Enter Seaton, who capped Stokes and told Tony that Hodges had gone too far and needed to be stopped. He got Tony to arrange contact with the FBI and set up an immunity deal with the president in exchange for telling the feds where the bio weapon was located.

The president had come off an unsuccessful attempt to convince the joint chiefs that they should invade Starkwood (can’t blame them for not wanting a mini-war on U.S. soil) and quickly authorized the pardon. President Taylor is so busy with this Starkwood thing that she doesn’t even realize how much power Acting Chief of Staff Olivia now has and how she’s been wielding it (like the Jedi-mind trick she used to get Aaron to come out of retirement).

Anyway, Seaton led Tony and the team of feds to a warehouse with two guards (who were easily taken care off). Unfortunately, the warehouse was empty (pictured, left) and Seaton suddenly pretended like Tony had forced him to say what he had said. Thank God the new, enlightened (but still Two Steps Behind) Larry Moss believed Tony. Still, as he ordered a search of Starkwood, a very-much-alive Stokes re-appeared and ordered Moss and his men to throw down their weapons.

Did I mention that this entire sequence was incredibly tense? At least it was for me, since I was expecting at least Moss to get killed, now that his character has been redeemed and proven NOT to be a complete tool. When Stokes and his men pulled up, I thought we were going to get a repeat of the shower room scene in “The Rock.” (P.S. I love “The Rock.”)

Still, why did Seaton need to dupe Tony at all? If Hodges/Stokes simply killed Tony, the FBI wouldn’t have been spurred into action the way they were due to Seaton’s intel. At best, they’d be going in blind, having no idea where the bio weapon was. The president would probably still be trying to convince the joint chiefs to invade Starkwood at all. Of course, Hodges probably didn’t know the president’s hands were tied (or that an air strike was out of the question) and felt like he had to do something to buy himself some time.

Also, while I totally get that the scene with Seaton and Hodges arguing in front of Tony was meant to lead Tony to believe that Seaton was disloyal, what was the point of having Seaton act squeamish about the bio weapon in previous weeks? Obviously it was to set us (the audience) up for the trick this week, but it still doesn’t make sense storyline-wise. Seaton shows real hesitance over the bio weapon the last three weeks (for just us in the audience to see) and then is revealed to be a totally evil mastermind this week. I’m just not a fan of sacrificing sound storytelling just to fool the audience. (If I’m going to be fooled, I’d like it to be more organically.)

Then again, I was just happy to see my boy Seaton (Rory Cochrane) gets some extended screen time. (I should’ve known he’d never betray his boyfriend Hodges — you know those two TOTALLY have a Mr. Burns/Smithers thing going.) I wouldn’t say the twist was “too clever by half” because I still kinda dug it, so I’ll just say it was “too clever by quarter.”

So what’d you think of this episode? Would you have figured Jack as a boxers guy or did you think he rolled with briefs? Are you buying that Renee is apparently in love with Jack? How cool is it that you can apparently sign a pardon online now? Is Janeane Garofalo’s Janis of ANY use at this point? Finally, how long until Super Secret Service Agent Aaron becomes a fly in Olivia’s increasingly devious ointment? (Ok, that sounded grosser than I intended.)

Hell's Kitchen: Three Men and a Lacey

You know how certain people, usually athletes like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods, are described as “clutch” because they come through in big-time, pressure-packed moments?

Well Lacey (pictured, right) is the opposite of that.

Actually, after her sad, pathetic, exhilarating, amusing, hilarious meltdown last night, she’s actually worse than the “opposite of clutch.” “Clutch” would imply that Lacey tried and failed. However, Lacey’s performance on the meat station during dinner service would be the equivalent of Tiger Woods throwing his clubs in the water on the 18th hole and walking off the course BEFORE a big putt, or Michael Jordan running away from the rest of the team as they huddled during a tie game with 10 seconds to go in the fourth quarter and catching a cab outside the arena.

We’ll obviously get to that later, but the continuation of this “Hell’s Kitchen” recap found Carol (once again) complaining about Andrea and vowing to destroy her for daring to sabotage her on the pasta station (are we sure that even happened?) during last week’s dinner service. This just in: the women actually WON the last dinner service (easily), so Carol’s whining was equal parts puzzling and annoying. Thankfully, Giovanni (using his most soothing tone) settled her down temporarily by reminding her to focus on the team.

This week’s challenge was a “Hell’s Kitchen” favorite (at least for me): the blind taste test. Since the red team had more people, one member had to sit out and LA volunteered rather quickly. (I believe that’s the fastest we’ve seen her do ANYTHING on this show.) She said she dropped out partly because her sense of taste was out of whack due to her being a smoker. Has she SEEN this show? Doesn’t everybody smoke?!

Each chef would taste the same four items and try to correctly identify them. The men jumped out to an early lead as Ben finally (semi)won a head-to-head challenge by beating Andrea 3-2. (I laughed out loud at Ramsay calling Ben a fat “bleep” as Ben rocked out while wearing the headphones.) Giovanni and Not Bobby matched each other in ineptitude by missing all of their ingredients. (Lobster tastes like poached egg yolk, Giovanni? Truffles are your favorite thing Robert, and you can’t ID them? I can forgive you for not getting the peas, but you shouldn’t have to be Helen Keller to get the truffles right. )

Carol put the red team back on top by schooling Lacey 3-1, but for the last taste test Danny and Paula would have to take turns identifying 10 ingredients in the minestrone soup. Danny put the guys back on top, but Paula eventually tied the game. As is ALWAYS the case, the challenge came down to the wire with Paula edging out Danny and earning the red team the coveted TV Guide photo shoot.

Not only would the blue team have to prep both kitchens, but they’d have to wait on the red team as they had their hair done and photos taken (fortunately, the cider Ben accidentally spilled on the red team when he was frightened by a camera pop didn’t get in anybody’s hair).

The rest of the time, we got more stank face/attitude from Lacey who was ignoring her teammates and being a general pain-in-the-ass. Hey, at least she didn’t quit and walk out of the kitchen this time, right? (Depriving us of another Ben “We Need You” speech.)

Soon, it was time for dinner service, which would feature a couple of VIPs in the house, in the form of Eric “Will of ‘Will & Grace’” McCormack and Robert “T-100” Patrick. (I’m one of the few people who also like to think of him as Doggett on the later seasons of “The X-Files.”)

Except for McCormack’s entrée apparently being a little late, the celebrities turned out to be a surprisingly small part of the dinner service drama. Then again, when it comes to drama, they couldn’t really compete with the season’s undisputed drama queen.

I’m not sure if it was sabotage on the men’s part, but as soon as it was revealed Lacey would be on the meat station, I thought “Uh oh.” Before that, Not Bobby struggled to get some appetizers out before Ben jumped in and took over, I mean helped.

When it was time for the entrees, Lacey COMPLETELY blanked when asked to produce a Beef Wellington and lamb. I mean, she had NO idea what to do. I know she’s supposed to be inexperienced, but I don’t believe for a second that during all her time at “Hell’s Kitchen” (or in her own life) that she never learned how to prepare either of these meals. I think it’s more likely that the stress of the show and the situation simply caused her brain to shut down.

Ramsay tried talking to (yelling at) her twice, but finally ended up sending her home. On her way out, she shared with us that her mom had advised her not to make enemies in “HK”, and that she’d done the exact opposite. (Definitely should’ve listened to mom.) I thought the blue team was done for sure, but a funny thing happened – and I’m not talking about Not Bobby splitting his pants (thank GOD he was wearing boxers). The men rallied and delivered their best dinner service, by FAR. (Where the hell was THIS all season?)

The red team, on the other hand, was suffering from a combination of overconfidence and dysfunction. Paula made some salty risotto at first, but quickly made up for her mistake. The biggest problem in the kitchen was Carol. She was on the difficult meat station and she struggled, which is completely understandable.

What is not understandable is that she appeared to be ignoring Andrea’s repeated attempts to communicate for the sole purpose of setting Andrea (and, as a result, her team) back. She was successful and got a measure of revenge for the way Andrea screwed her up last week in the pasta station. (Again, are we SURE that actually happened?) Unfortunately, she ended up messing up LA too, and the red team was the clear loser.

Ramsay ordered the red team to come up with two unanimous nominees for elimination. Again, the red team failed to work together. Everyone could agree on Carol (because she was terrible), but Andrea, Giovanni and Paula nominated LA for the second slot, while Carol and LA nominated Andrea. Now, I’m on Team Andrea, so I may be biased, but my take was that LA nominated Andrea because she’s trying to watch her own ass (understandable) while Carol nominated Andrea because she hates her. By contrast, Giovanni (who just got to the red team) doesn’t appear to have a bias one way or the other and he picked LA, so I tend to agree with his relatively objective view.

It didn’t matter because Ramsay called all three of the nominees for elimination forward and asked them why they should stay? Once again, Carol couldn’t get past her hatred of Andrea to objectively make a good case for Andrea to be eliminated, while LA defended her own soft-spoken attitude in the kitchen. In the end, Andrea successfully survived the double team and LA was sent home.

I like LA, but I thought her not taking part in the taste test was what killed her (why did no one bring this up?), especially since people had been telling her that she needed to step up and show leadership.

So what’d you think of this episode? Don’t the women always seem to win the photo shoot reward? (Just sayin’) Are you on Team Andrea or Team Carol? Finally, is there one small part of you that’ll miss Lacey? (Nah!)

(Sorry I posted this recap a few days late, but I was away from home most of the weekend. As is the case with the food on "Hell's Kitchen", better late than never, right?)

America's Next Top Recap: Talking Out of Turn

I like Celia (pictured, left) and so far she’s done almost everything right in this competition.

Except for that time in the last episode when she dared to strut onto Tyra’s runway and speak out of turn about another contestant during judging panel, earning her a thorough ass-chewing (or asshole ripping, if you prefer). Damn that was brutal.

We’ll get back to that eventually, but first let’s talk about the rest of the episode, which featured a visit from “America’s Next Top Recap” favorite Benny Ninja, the return of Sandra the Beast and the most amusingly artsy/pretentious crowd at a runway show yet (which is saying a lot for this program).

To the surprise of no one, Sandra was flying high after having the “best” picture at panel. The placement of my quotation marks was not an accident — Sandra’s picture was good, but I thought London, Fo, and Tahlia’s shots were all better. Aminat agreed with me (she thought London should’ve gotten top honors), but she hates Sandra even more than I do, so we can’t really trust her judgment.

Before Sandra could annoy me any further, the girls got a visit from Toccara, one of the show’s most popular alumni. She came over for a slumber party and wanted to stress the importance of a model having a personality. She did this by repeatedly talking about great her personality was (ick), but I was just happy to have anyone around that would stop Sandra from talking.

The next day, the ladies met up with Benny Ninja and DJ/model Sky Nellor to learn about posing with music. Most of the girls (Allison, Sandra, Tahlia, Kortnie, others) made fools of themselves. (The show had worked particularly worked hard to show how much of a goof off Kortnie apparently is. Foreshadowing!) Meanwhile, the usual suspects (Celia, Natalie) excelled. The girls learned they’d be modeling clothes by the Blonds at a fashion show at super-duper hipster/transgender club the Mansion. I’m convinced Benny Ninja spends at least 40 percent of his time at the Mansion, where 60 percent of the people (men and women) look like Boy George.

Benny shouted “pose” to the girls (I thought it was part of the soundtrack at first) and encouraged the audience to boo weak poses (that was pretty funny). Unsurprisingly, the final two were Celia and Natalie, with Natalie unable to keep her balance on the runway due to her head getting so big and Celia fiercely picking up the win.

To be perfectly honest, I’d rather watch Natalie’s super-confidence in her abilities than Tahlia’s wimpy, tedious complaining. I totally understand how Tahlia can get really insecure because of the burns on her body, but her whole purpose for entering this competition was to inspire people. Last night, she seemed to be inspiring people to quit. Celia was also annoyed and seemed to get support from the rest of the girls in saying that, if someone other than Tahlia got eliminated, they should speak up and tell the judges about Tahlia’s repeated threats to quit.

I’m not usually a fan of mutinies or persecutions against one contestant (especially when that contestant is already down in the dumps), but I had to kind of agree with Celia’s sentiments. Of course, that could be because I hate quitters. Mostly though, I agreed with Natalie that Tahlia only wants to quit when she’s not doing well. (I hate frontrunners even more than I hate quitters.)

We saw this after Tahlia rocked her photo shoot and earned top photo of the week honors.

Apropos of absolutely nothing, the girls were posing as early 20th century Ellis Island immigrants, complete with period-appropriate photographic equipment.

Since the older camera didn’t allow for much movement, and the concept of the shoot (immigrant family photo) didn’t lend itself to too much outrageousness, I actually found this to be one of the more boring photo shoots in recent history (despite the presence of Benny Ninja and some terrific child models in the background).

The only ones I really liked were Teyona (most authentic), Tahlia (bonus points for looking model-y AND looking at the camera), and Natalie (looking like a dead ringer for Keira Knightley). The rest of the girls weren’t so much bad, they just missed the mark by looking off into the distance (like London) or getting lost in the background (like Celia).

The final two was comprised of Kortnie and Sandra, but because we’d been told Kortnie was a goof off, and because Sandra creates too much drama in the house to let go (and because Kortnie’s picture was worse), the outcome wasn’t a surprise at all.

What WAS a surprise was that Celia decided to go ahead with the semi-mutiny. After Kortnie’s elimination, Celia strode onto the runway from her safe perch and told Tyra about Tahlia’s ambivalence and repeated desire to quit. While I didn’t expect Tyra to exactly say, “Thank you for bringing this to my attention, I’ll let Tahlia go because you said so”, the way she completely smacked Celia down was still pretty harsh.

Tyra said that Tahlia had never expressed to her or any of the other judges that she wanted to quit (Why would she? She’s actually been doing well in panel?) and said that she was disappointed in Celia because it wasn’t her place to tattle on another contestant. I can definitely understand Tyra’s latter point (and it would’ve been nice if another contestant had spoken up in Celia’s defense), but this still felt more like Tyra-nt re-establishing her domination over every single person on the show than an honest defense of Tahlia’s merits in the competition.

So what’d you think of this episode? Is there ANYONE on this show who isn’t a “Random Profession/model”? Was I the only one surprised when Philippe Blond spoke and she was a man? Finally, did Celia just kill her chances at winning this thing or while Tyra let bygones be bygones?

Lost: A Killer Ending

Wow.

That’s the only word I can think of to describe the final few minutes of “He’s Our You.” I’ll obviously get to what happened in more detail a little further down, but right now I’ll just say Sayid’s decision at the end of this episode LITERALLY made me gasp.

In the thrown-together, informal list of episode-ending shockers in “Lost” history that I just came up with, I’d say this one goes near the top along with Michael killing Ana Lucia and Libby at the end of season 2’s “Two for the Road” and Desmond dejectedly saying “No matter what I do — you’re gonna die, Charlie” at the end of season 3’s “Flashes Before Your Eyes.” (Oh yeah, SPOILER ALERT, I guess.)

“Sayid episodes” are always interesting to me because they REALLY serve as showcases for Naveen Andrews’ talent. Ever since Shannon died in season 2, Sayid has really been the one person on this show without strong ties to anyone else on the Island. So Sayid-centric episodes tend to allow the actor to do his thing on his own more so than any other character. (Season 4’s “The Economist” was basically a mini-spy adventure starring Andrews.)

His alienation from everyone else — as well as the character’s true, dark nature (the major reason for said alienation) — also happened to be a huge part of last night’s episode. I mean, how alone in the world is this guy that, when Ben (wearing a fantastic hat) told him he was done killing all the people responsibly for his family’s death, Sayid had a hopeless, “don’t leave me” look on his face?

Turns out Sayid has been a natural born killer all his life. Or at least for most of his life, as we saw when he stepped in and coolly killed a chicken so his brother wouldn’t have to (shades of Mr. Eko and his brother) and earning the approval of his father.

The episode also filled in pretty much every gap in Sayid’s off-Island life. He’d gone to Santo Domingo to try to atone for his murderous ways before Ben enticed him into coming back by making him believe Hurley’s life was in danger and by pointing out that Sayid was simply capable of doing things “most of us aren’t.” We also found out how he got to be in handcuffs. Apparently, Illana is a bounty hunter who was hired by the family of the guy Sayid killed on that golf course in “The Economist” to capture him and bring him to Guam.

I FINALLY enjoyed her character because she was operating independently from Cesar (shaking off that Nikki/Paolo 2.0 stench) and because her scene with a depressed Sayid at the bar was pretty sexy. (We knew their drinks were expensive because McCutcheon is what Charles Widmore told Desmond he’s never be worthy of drinking.) I still think it’s a bit suspicious that she just happened to be taking Sayid on that particular flight to Guam, but right now I’m still chalking it up to fate (and NOT to the fact that she may be working for Genocidal Ben after all.) Now all we need is the episode to show us how Hurley made his way on the plane.

Speaking of Hurley, I should’ve figured the laid-back dude would fit in perfectly with the hippie-ish Dharma Initiative, but I didn’t. I’ll be sure to try that dipping sauce.

Of course, Sayid was still considered a hostile in 1977, and the rest of the Dharma people tried to figure out what to do with him. Horace seemed open to hearing his side of the story, Radsinsky continued to be a major pain in the ass, and we could practically hear Sawyer think as he tried to figure out a way to save Sayid’s life. All of them also mentioned Sayid facing the ominous Oldham.

So how great was it to see big bad scary Oldham was none other than William Sanderson from “The Bob Newhart Show” and “Deadwood”? Of course, we were expecting a monstrous figure, not a guy with a hangdog face who lives in a tee pee. It kinda reminded me of the fight in “Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls.” (Where else are you going to read a column linking “Lost” to “Ace Ventura”?) Of course, Oldham’s laid back self-assurance and cruelty made me scared for Sayid all over again right after I’d relaxed a bit.

Oldham force-fed Sayid some truth-telling serum and Sayid spilled everything. He talked about the hatches that had yet to be built. He talked about everyone dying. He talked about Sawyer (phew, close one!) He talked about being a bad man. He talked about being from the future (this is where he lost everybody). He even told the truth about him not being too drugged-up at all, but they’d stopped listening by then. After a semi-casual tribal council, Dharma unanimously voted to execute Sayid.

Yes, I said unanimously as in Sawyer voted for Sayid’s execution too. I get that he wanted to keep his cover and tried to release Sayid anyway, but this is the second week in a row that “LaFleur” is exhibiting troubling, Sawyer-y, save-my-own-ass tendencies. He’s not alone since Juliet admitted she wasn’t really expecting their friends to come back (since, except for Jack, they’re not really her friends), but Sawyer seems to want to incorporate Jack and Co. into the fold, mainly to prove that he CAN. Unfortunately, it’s looking more and more like his old friends’ arrival is going to rock the entire Dharma Initiative, hence his crack about the flaming VW bus after one day with them back. (Remember when all we were worried about was Kate messing up his thing with Juliet?)

The flaming bus was a distraction (shades of Charlie setting a fire to create a distraction and try to baptize Aaron) by Ben who had decided to break Sayid out so he could join him and the rest of the hostiles. The two made it into the jungle, where Sayid knocked Jin out with a cheap shot, grabbed Jin’s gun and shot Ben right in the chest!

Yes, I said that Sayid shot Ben, thereby accomplishing what so few people in time travel stories do by putting a bullet right into the Big Bad. I’m sure a lot of people saw this coming, but I’m slower than most people. We’d seen Sayid witness Roger Linus abuse his son, so I actually thought that Sayid had developed a bit of genuine sympathy for young Ben. I figured Sayid would use him to escape, then cut him loose, since all Sayid wanted to do at the start of the episode was be set free. (“I was just served a sandwich by a 12-year-old Ben Linus, how do you think I’m doing.”) Of course, when Sawyer offered to set him free and Sayid refused, I should’ve known he was specifically waiting for Ben to come around. I'm sure that, if he REALLY wanted to kill him, a lot of us would've wanted him to go right up to him and put two more bullets in his head. Shooting him once (it was a good shot, by the way) and running away reminds me of the "Usual Suspects" line, "How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?"

Of course, Sayid shooting Ben raises an incredible amount of questions that I’ll let smarter people tackle. First off, could Ben actually be dead? (Doubtful, but how clever of the writers to not show us any 2007 Ben in this episode at all to leave that possibility open.) If this happened in Ben’s childhood, then he must remember it as an adult, which means he’s been pushing Sayid to kill knowing full well that one day Sayid would travel back in time to shoot him. (That’s a special kind of twisted.) Could Ben be a Christian Shephard-like ghost? (Doubtful, since I don’t think ghosts age.)

Most likely Sayid’s bullet was not fatal, but will still require medical attention in the next episode. If only there was an experienced surgeon somewhere in Dharmaville. Uh oh, Sawyer and Co. are going to have a hard time working around that one.

So what’d you think of this episode? Since Ben was obviously lying about the people camped outside Hurley’s mental hospital being the same people who killed Locke, who the hell WERE those people watching Hurley in the mental hospital? What do you think was in that cube Oldham gave Sayid? (Other than sugar.) How did 12-year-old Ben set up that VW bus stunt? Finally, wasn’t having Sawyer and Kate get interrupted RIGHT when she was about to reveal to him why she came back a total party foul?

American Idol: Adam and Eve(rybody Else)

Isn’t it great when everything comes together perfectly?

I COULD be talking about Motown night on “American Idol”, but I’m not. Except for the performances by Michael Sarver and Scott McIntyre — which make for excellent snack breaks, by the way — I was pleasantly surprised by the contestants’ take on Motown classics. Of course, I’d mentally prepared myself to hear a bunch of solid-yet-unspectacular carbon copies (which is kinda what we got from the likes of Danny Gokey and Lil Rounds) and not much else — except for maybe Simon throwing around his “old-fashioned” critique more frequently than usual.

But when I say that everything came together perfectly, I’m actually talking about Adam Lambert.

If I had to sum up his performance in one word, it would be “DAMN”. (See, I can actually count, unlike Kara DioGuardi in her unfortunate comment that the six words to describe Adam’s take on “The Tracks of My Tears” were “One of the best performances of the night.” Oof.)

Anyway, back to Adam. There’s never been any doubt that he’s a phenomenally gifted singer. The problems I’ve had with him come from his tendency to go miles over the top with EVERYTHING he does and from his tendency to make every performance about him, as opposed to putting the focus on and serving the song he’s singing. Simon would tell you that this conceitedness is a good thing, but I find it off-putting.

That’s why it was such a delight to see him ditch the sitars and put the focus on mentor Smokey Robinson’s beautiful song. In turn, we got to focus on his fantastic falsetto, instead of squirming uncomfortably as he leered at the camera. On a more personal level, I was happy to see him ditch the sometimes-distracting and anachronistic Hot Topic duds for one week in favor of a sleek, Joaquin Phoenix-as-Johnny Cash look (NOT Joaquin Phoenix as a rapper) that ironically came the week AFTER he sang Cash’s “Ring of Fire.”

The look, the voice, the song choice — everything came together for what was one of my 10 favorite performances in the show’s run.

Fortunately, a lot of Adam’s competitors were no slouches themselves.

I was happy to see Allison Iraheta grab the coveted final performance slot and knock “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” out of the park (especially with that hella fierce final note). Last week I wondered if she could do anything other than “rocker grrl.” This week, I’m wondering if that even matters. Then again, maybe it does since she landed in the bottom 3 last week along with Michael and the unjustly-axed Alexis Grace (boo!)

The only thing I didn’t like about her segment was that the judges were forced to rush through their critiques for her (and Danny) because, presumably, the show was running late. As I said after top 13 week, why don’t we ditch the stupid judges’ intro (and maybe they can stop playing with crayons) so a great performance like Allison’s can get its due? Also, what the hell was Simon talking about when he said she had a “terrible week last week.” (She made it sound like the fact that she was in the bottom 3 was her fault.)

I also didn’t agree with Simon that Kris Allen needed to act more conceited. As my girlfriend Erica pointed out (as soon as she stopped swooning) Kris’ humble demeanor works for him and makes him more attractive. His take on “How Sweet It Is” was (as always) very interesting and surprisingly well sung. Mostly though, this guy is just dreamy. (I feel perfectly comfortable saying that because he just is.)

Other than those two minor differences of opinion with Simon, I felt like the judges were mostly on their game last night. Simon was right in saying that Anoop Desai’s “Ooo Baby Baby” was good, but a little sleepy. Personally, I felt his chorus on that song was the weakest part (Erica was a little creeped out by the way Anoop said the “baby”s), but I REALLY appreciated the way he worked the verses. Most of the singers in this competition treat verses as a necessary nuisance until they get to REALLY bust out in the chorus.

Matt Giraud opened the show with “Let’s Get It On” and (against major odds since the Marvin Gaye original is SO good) pulled it off. It’s his best work since his Hollywood Week take of “Georgia on my mind.” I don’t agree with Kara that he needs more riffs (that’s like telling Adam he needs more guyliner), but I thought he distinguished himself enough from the original without radically changing the (fantastic) song.

As I mentioned before, Danny and Lil were good, but not great last night. Danny gave off a distinct whiff of “going through the motions” in his performance of “Get Ready.” Also, why would he ignore Smokey Robinson’s advice about singing the end of the verses himself? (After admitting that Smokey has about 40 more years of experience in the music industry). Fortunately, Danny sounded really good, and I particularly enjoyed his little move with the backup dancers. Still, I couldn’t disagree with Simon that his sprints from one side of the stage to the other made him look “clumsy.”

Lil on the other hand was CLEARLY touched by the group’s visit to Motown and wanted to pay tribute. Unfortunately, her performance of “Heatwave” was yet another good copycat (not even as good as her Mary J. Blige impersonation). The performance was also a bit hectic and the song was monotonous to the point that it sounded like she was singing an extended chorus the entire time (why bother with boring verses?) At what point does Lil’s good standing with the judges run out (not last night since Simon — blech — went out of his way to remind us she was one of the best singers in the competition) and she makes a trip to the bottom 3?

I don’t think it’s going to be this week either, since the bottom 3 should clearly be Michael, Scott and Megan Joy (Not Corkrey).

I actually didn’t hate Megan’s slightly uncomfortable performance at all (certainly not as much as the judges), but I agreed that faster tempo songs don’t suit her unique, riff-riffic style of singing.

For his part, Scott finally, FINALLY picked an interesting song. Of course, “interesting” is code for up-tempo. He sang “You Can’t Hurry Love” decently, but he’s just not in the league as most of the singers in this competition. So for the second week in a row, the best part of his segment came after the song was over when he joked about not knowing he was wearing pink pants. (Kudos to Seacrest for not missing a beat by asking “how do you know they’re pink?”)

On the other hand, everything about Michael Sarver’s segment was wrong. Wearing flip-flops to meet Smokey Robinson is WRONG! (This coming from a Floridian who wears flip flops and jeans to the movies, grocery store and pretty much everywhere else where there’s NOT a music legend). As far as the singing, Michael either ignored Smokey’s advice to really attack “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” or he’s just not a good enough singer to knock that song out of the park like it needs to be. (I think it’s the latter.) Simon may have seemed cruel in saying that he has absolutely no chance to win, but he’s also absolutely right. Erica, on the other hand, summed up Michael’s plight perfectly:

“His main problem is that he’s not as good as everybody else.” Um, yeah.

So what’d you think of this episode? Was Smokey Robinson too nice/boring for your taste? Where does Adam’s performance rank among the best in “Idol” history? (If you think it belongs up there at all.) Finally, who do you think is going home? (I’ve got Michael, Megan and Matt in the bottom three with Michael going home — I just think Scott still has a lot of support.)

Heroes: That's Cold

Even when “Heroes” hunkers down and delivers a good episode with plenty of emotion, cleverness and action, the show still can’t get out of its own way.

That being said, the good outweighed the bad last night in “Cold Snap”, an episode which is much better enjoyed if you don’t think about it too much.

I’ve never, EVER bought the Matt/Daphne romance, so I was happy to find out that Daphne herself wasn’t buying it either in the episode’s best sequence.

The couple(?) was finally reunited towards the end of the hour. To gain Danko’s trust, HRG and Angela had agreed that HRG needed to deliver the elusive “Rebel” to Danko. HRG suggested to Danko that they let Tracy go because Rebel had contacted Tracy recently and he believed Tracy would lead them right to Rebel.

During the “escape” (I’m stupid, so I honestly couldn’t tell if HRG/Danko were letting her go on purprose or if Rebel helped Tracy escape — I’m going with Rebel broke her out, but Danko didn’t try too hard to stop it), Tracy went to the creepy Nosetube room where the people with abilities were being kept. Apparently, she only had time to release regular cast members. Since Tracy is only out for herself, she was about to ditch Parkman, Mohinder and an incapacitated Daphne, but ended up escaping thanks to Parkman.

Matt and Mohinder rushed Daphne to a hospital where he gave the doctors his ex wife’s name and made up a story about a hunting accident.

Later, Daphne woke up to a bright, pleasant room and plenty of flowers because Matt had apparently convinced people that she was Gwen Stefani (because all bleach blonde skinny edgy white chicks are the same). Daphne was annoyed that Matt had automatically reverted to using his wife’s name and did what she does best — ran away. Matt caught up with her in Paris on top of a similar building to the one Nicole Kidman hung out at in that Chanel commercial. He revealed that he flew there(?!) before taking her on a “Superman” ride and attempting to convince her to stay with him.

Unfortunately, none of the stuff in the previous paragraph actually happened.

If you want an example as to how ridiculous “Heroes” has gotten, I’ll tell you that I thought it was absolutely ridiculous that Parkman could now fly, but was totally ready to shrug my shoulders and roll with it. THAT’S how ridiculous this show has gotten and that’s how low my expectations are. GREAT job by the writers for a couple of touching, dreamlike sequences that contrasted perfectly with Matt and Mohinder sitting in that gray-toned hospital room after Matt finally let her go. (I still don’t totally buy that Parkman could’ve believed someone he hardly knew and who wasn’t into him at all was the love of his life.)

At first, Daphne looked like an ungrateful beyotch after Matt had risked his life several times to save her. It was a great twist to have those scenes merely represent Daphne’s (totally justified) doubts about their spirit walk-based relationship, and her desire to have Matt move on with his life. For that reason, I think it was worth it to temporarily bring Daphne back from the dead — only to kill her again. I thought it would’ve been interesting to see her clash with Parkman’s ex-wife Janice, but then I remembered that Daphne didn’t really love Parkman, so that confrontation would’ve probably been lukewarm at best.

Oh yeah, did I not mention that Parkman’s ex was back in the picture. After some more truly embarrassing scenes for Masi Oka (this poor guy) and James Kyson Lee in which Hiro and Ando yelled at Baby Parkman thinking he was Big Parkman, the two finally realized it was Parkman’s son. They also realized the baby had the power to make things work. (Including the TV which inexplicably showed the footage of Parkman with a bomb strapped to him on a loop.)

Shortly thereafter, Janice arrived home for some more weirdness. For someone who was alone at home with two complete strangers and her young child, she seemed more annoyed than frightened (WTF). Hiro and Ando explained what was happening, right before some government guys showed up to kidnap Baby Parkman. Ando unleashed a HADOUKEN! (has he always been able to do this? I thought his power was just complementary) while Baby Parkman fixed Hiro, allowing him to stop time. Apparently, he wasn’t able to fix him all the way, so Hiro wasn’t able to teleport and, instead, had to transport Ando and BP 12 miles in a wheelbarrow.

I like that Hiro has his powers back (well one of them at least), but introducing Parkman Jr. and re-introducing Janice Parkman seems like a weird, random way to do it. Out of all the characters from season 1 I would’ve like to have seen return, Janice Parkman is probably not in the top 100.

Now, Micah would definitely be in the top 10, especially since I’d pegged him as “Rebel” a long time ago. I’m not patting myself on the back TOO much, since the show didn’t seem that concerned with keeping the “Rebel” reveal a secret — Noah Gray-Cabey’s name was in the opening credits. (Maybe one day we’ll find out how Micah knows so much about everyone — he must talk to a LOT of computers and cell phones — or maybe we won’t. I’m ok either way.)

Once I got over the fact that he looks almost exactly the same (but sounds totally different) I was able to listen and find that Micah still had a soft spot for females that look like Ali Larter. He knew Tracy wasn’t his mom, but hoped that she’d have some of Nikki’s goodness. In the end, Tracy redeemed herself by freeze framing her own body and all of Danko’s men (in a cool special effect) while allowing Micah to escape and wreak more revolutionary havoc. Danko then shot the Ali Larter-shaped ice sculpture, ending Tracy’s life.

Or did he? I know that Tracy’s face blinked on the ground, and the possibility exists for a T-1000-style assembly. However, I think more likely Tracy is done with the show, but NOT Ali Larter. Wasn’t there supposed to be a third sibling to Nikki/Jessica and Tracy running around out there?

Finally, Angela Petrelli was running for her life through most of the episode. For a character that’s usually in complete control, it was nice to see Cristine Rose get a chance to play frazzled. I liked the scene where she saw about five seconds into the future (how weird would it be to be able to do THAT?) and eluded capture. Eventually, Angela swallowed her pride and asked her snooty friend Millie (guest star Swoosie Kurtz) for help. Millie (who’d gone through her own interrogation) tries to get Angela to turn herself in, but eventually ends up giving her some cash.

The bad guys eventually caught up to Angela in an elevator and had her trapped. Fortunately for her, Peter had busted in to the elevator and flew her to safety. Sure this was (kinda) cool, but how the hell did Peter know where Angela was? (Was he flying around the city watching her all day?) How did he get into the elevator shaft AND open the top of the elevator so quickly? Also, where the hell did he fly off to after he picked his mom up (does the elevator shaft not have a ceiling?) Oy, see what happens when you think about this show too much?!

So what’d you think of this episode? Did you miss seeing Claire or Nathan? What was the significance of the extended scene of Danko shaving in the beginning? (I’m thinking it was just to contrast how sloppy HRG — with his facial cuts and umbrella-forgetting — has become with how together Danko is.) Do you think Tracy is really dead? Finally, was it my imagination or wasn’t Sylar hanging out in Danko’s apartment at the end of the previous episode? What happened with THAT? Are we supposed to assume he was the one who delivered Doyle to Danko? If so why would he do that?! (Uh oh — I’m thinking about things too much again!)

Dancing with the Stars: Highs and (All-Time) Low

This is shaping up to be the most EXTREME season of “Dancing with the Stars” yet.

I’m not necessarily talking about contestants busting out snowboards (would you really be surprised on this show?) or trying death-defying stunts. What I’m referring to is the biggest disparity in talent I’ve ever seen on this show. The good dancers are REALLY good, and the bad dancers are cover-your-eyes awful.

In honor Belinda Carlisle watching some of last night’s performances and punching a wall out of frustration that she got eliminated before some of these fools, allow me to ramble about last night’s dances (the samba and fox trot) in order of appearance.

Denise Richards & Maksim: And we’re back to the cringe-worthy: It’s Complicated rehearsal packages. Denise asks Maks about a move and he (unhelpfully) responds with “none of your business.” Going first did her no favors as she looks completely nervous and awkward and terrible throughout. Possibly the worst samba roll I’ve ever seen in my life (I love me a samba roll.) She got two “5”s but I actually would’ve tossed in a “4” because she’s not injured (as far as we know) and has had plenty of time to prep (unlike Holly and Melissa). So what’s her excuse for being so bad? I thought it would’ve been great if one of those black bars had covered Maks’ nipples when his samba dress top fell off.

Chuck Wicks & Julianne: Significant improvement last night from Chuck as he made the bold decision to actually dance this week. The eights he got are still a bit ridiculous. You can probably tell I’m still not into this couple and their (forced) efforts to prove they’re just this cool average couple and that he’s a normal guy still fall flat. My girlfriend Erica may have pegged why I don’t care for these two: “The pro dancer should NOT be more famous than the celebrity.” I totally agree with this, but given that Melissa and Gilles aren’t that famous I’d amend it to say, “The pro dancer should NOT be the only reason a “Star” is counted as a celebrity and allowed to participate on this show.”

Holly Madison & Dmitry: This week Holly officially passed Denise in terms of dancing talent (despite having a LOT less time to learn). Samba was still pretty rough, but definitely livelier. Though she’s having fun up there, Dmitry’s reaction of “It’s hard” to the question of whether or not he missed Jewel had to hurt. Then again, Holly seems so oblivious she probably didn’t even notice. Finally, what’s up with the knee-high socks/heels combo in rehearsal?

Steve-O & Lacey: Maybe they should’ve used the footage from their allegedly-better rehearsal THIS week. That was a pretty long (bleep) during his rehearsal. Erica pointed out that clean-cut Steve-O looks like a little boy when dances ballroom. Appeared to hurt his ankle at the end, but is determined to come back. He’s in danger of becoming the Black Knight from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.”

Lawrence Taylor & Edyta: How do we know LT is serious about dancing? Because he’s giving up golf outings (but not golf outings with Melissa)! (Were we supposed to know this a big deal/care?) Either way, Len is totally right in that LT’s biggest problem is that he needs to lighten up because he definitely has skills. His ceiling is still a sixth place finish, no?

Shawn Johnson & Mark: Mark lightly hitting on Shawn’s teenage friends in West Des Moines, Iowa wasn’t as creepy as it should’ve been. Is West Des Moines the “bad” part of Des Moines? Shawn was excellent last night, getting a 27 and vaulting past Lil’ Kim into this season’s top 3. She smoothed out her rigidness for the fox trot, so I’m sure the judges will find something new to nitpick about her.

Gilles Marine & Cheryl: The only person who danced more intensely than Gilles was Cheryl, who (as Carrie Ann pointed out) seems TOTALLY inspired. (What dancing with Wayne Newton doesn’t fire a person up?) This was probably my favorite dance of the night (Gilles looked like a pro at time). He gets big time kudos for, not only following up his own personal 27 from last week, but matching Shawn Johnson’s own 27 from just a few moments before. I’m still not sure why you would dedicate a sexy samba to your mom.

David Alan Grier & Kym: David Alan Grier finally put things together somewhat. At least these two finally appeared to be enjoying each other’s company. I’m not sure what all the high kicks had to do with ballroom (they’re more Broadway), but I liked them. (This show should land him another gig on the Great White Way, no?) Erica pointed out his center of gravity when he spins is weird and I agreed because we’re both dance dorks and we notice that kind of thing.

Steve Wozniak & Karina: Nothing about this was good — except for Woz saying his 10 (the lowest score in the show’s history) was not low enough. I’d go even farther — this wasn’t just the worst televised samba, I’d bet it was the worst samba anyone has ever done anywhere. Karina (in her prison-striped gown) looks miserable. Woz injured his hamstring this week, leading to a lot of close ups on his fleshy leg. Nice line about his “worm” (pictured, left) being more like a “slug.” Whenever he’s dancing, I’m either afraid he’s going to fall down, hurt himself or drop Karina. (He did the latter last night.) Someone please explain to me why you would put this guy through. I mean, even if you like him (and I do), you have to be rooting for him to go home and rest, right?

Melissa Rycroft & Tony: Are you sure you don’t want to hang on to that awesome job you had Melissa? (You got to work in an awesome cubicle, like me!) Is it her fault that she’s so good that her dances look effortless? Kristi Yamaguchi alert! Oh wait, Kristi Yamaguchi won. Carry on.

Lil’ Kim & Derek: I love Lil’ Kim’s easy-going enthusiasm (pay attention Denise) and willingness to learn. Didn’t love her samba (her arm extensions are a little weird), but I’ll let it go because it inspired Len to coin the term “bionic booty.”

Ty Murray & Chelsie: Not only is he the most improved person this year, he’s the most improved person I’ve ever seen on this show (based on how dismal he was that first week). I’m still not 100% sure he can pull off a Latin dance. When Chelsie slipped on her dress and fell, the only person who didn’t freak out was Ty (even I freaked out a bit). Love this guy’s attitude.

So what’d you think of this episode? Does Ty improvement mean that Chelsie is a sort of Mrs. Miyagi-like teacher? (I say “YES”) Did Shawn, Melissa or Gilles deserve a 10? (I say, “Yes”) Finally, is this the week one of the injured Steve’s goes home? (I say Woz’s time is up, but I’d also advise Denise Richards to watch her back.)

24: Biohazard Pay

The second half of this season of “24” is rounding into shape very nicely, making the perfectly-solid first half of season 7 look a bit ordinary. I mean, can you even remember a time when the biggest threat was a “CIP firewall” and how we weren’t even exactly sure how the damn thing worked?

I was reminded of the first half of this season (and how far we’ve come) thanks to First Gentleman Henry Taylor’s cameo return last night. Seems like he’s going to be all right (um, yay?) and the president told her husband about Olivia working in the White House. She also assured him that she’d be over to visit him “soon.” To recap, the guy has been paralyzed and nearly murdered TWICE, but the president is in no rush to see him, confirming that Henry is almost as unimportant to his wife as he is to me.

He’s particularly expendable given what a force his daughter has proven to be. In a surprise to no one, it turns out Olivia WAS responsible for the story about Ethan authorizing Burnett’s interrogation/murder being leaked. So far it still seems she’s working in her mother’s best interest (she wants Ethan to take ALL the blame for the Burnett scandal), but she’s giving off an unmistakable whiff of evil I just can’t ignore. Will it turn out that she’s league with Starkwood and was (indirectly?) responsible for her brother’s death? Either way, a HUGE thanks to actress Sprague Grayden for livening up the Taylor family.

Ethan, on the other hand, will apparently take a Henry-style extended break from this season. I’m now 99% convinced that Ethan not being present during the attack was merely a clever coincidence concocted by the writers to make us suspect him. (The unconvinced 1% still can’t ever trust the warden from “The Shawshank Redemption.”) I felt bad for the guy as he agreed to fall on his sword for believing his is responsible for Burnett and Sen. Mayer’s death. I still have a feeling we haven’t heard the last of Ethan this season.

Meanwhile, in eccentric old Oscar winner news, Jon Voight delivered the goods again as Jonas Hodges, who was given his most extended screen time yet this season. Turns out his board at Starkwood (the six year olds who need their carrots) was nervous about Hodges’ plan to cut off the rest of the government. Hodges was passionate that his Starkwood soldiers could’ve been of help during the day’s attacks, and vowed to not answer any calls for help and challenge the Senate subcommittee’s investigation.

Of course, Hodges can say this because he knows subcommittee leader “Red” Mayer died “tragically” (loved how Voight said that last word sarcastically). I’m also thinking his plan for the bioweapon (and the day’s other events) is to cause a calamity so great that it will make Starkwood essential. Then again, the most important thing I got out of this storyline was the reveal that Seaton’s first name is “Greg”, so what do I know?

Well most of the time I know more than clueless Larry Moss, so imagine my utter delight when the Special Agent in Charge of Being Two Steps Behind actually wised up and seemed open to the possibility that Jack didn’t kill Sen. Mayer (or Burnett). I’m not suggesting these people should have ever trusted Jack blindly, I just thought someone in Moss’ position should’ve been smart enough to take ALL of the day’s events into account before deciding Jack was a cold-blooded killer. As a special added bonus, we got to see him channel his inner CSI as he figured out that the shooting at Mayer’s house probably involved a third party. He reached out to Renee (still in timeout) who gave him the Starkwood name. That wouldn’t be the last time Moss heard Starkwood that evening.

Jack had met up with Tony at the port where the bioweapon was delivered. Soon thereafter, we met Carl, the head of security at the port. As soon as we saw this random character had a wife pregnant with kids, we figured something horrible was going to happen to him.

Jack and Tony cornered him and Carl told them that he’d agreed to let the Starkwood guys (led by the smug Stokes) come into the port because they’d told him they were smuggling in electronic equipment and because he needed the money. Jack convinced Carl to go out, pretend like everything was ok and let Stokes in. Carl asked Jack if they had his back and Jack said “yes.” Unfortunately for Jack, it turns out that Carl watches “24”(and knows about the flimsy-at-best track record Jack has for keeping people alive) and said “Promise me.”

Despite Tony’s (legitimate) protestations, we knew as soon as Jack gave his promise he wouldn’t let Carl die. This isn’t the same “get the job done at any cost” Jack we saw earlier in the season who repeatedly lectured everyone else (especially Renee) about how soft they were. This is also a character that has repeatedly lost people (even people close to him) in service of saving even more lives. However, given his talk with Sen. Mayer an hour before about sacrifice, and the trauma of losing a friend like Bill Buchanan, I’m ok with the character’s evolution at this point. (Maybe all Marika needed to do to stay alive a few hours ago was ask Jack to “promise” to keep her alive, instead of having her sister Rosa make Renee promise to keep Marika safe.)

Anyway, maybe Jack simply thought he was awesome enough to save Carl AND get a hold of the bio weapon. I loved Jack’s reaction when Tony pointed out that instead of following he weapon, they’d be engaged in a 2-on-10 firefight: “2-on-9” Jack coolly corrected.

Turns out Jack was mostly right. After the fire fight, he was able to confiscate the truck (following an Indiana Jones style punch to the driver before throwing him off the drivers’ seat), but the canister with the weapon had been damaged and gas was leaking out. Oh my, Jack did NOT just go in there himself to shut the valve off and limit the damage? (Of course he did.) As if he wasn’t freaked out enough, Stokes’ men came by, shot at Jack and reacquired the bio weapon.

Jack had gotten a hold of Moss to give him the grim update. Larry still seemed skeptical about attacking Starkwood without proof that a bio weapon existed. Here, Kiefer Sutherland got to play something he rarely gets to play on “24” — vulnerability. “I — I was exposed” he said with his voice slightly breaking.

Of course, we know nothing’s going to happen to Jack (especially given news that Kiefer Sutherland is on board for season 8), but it’s a credit to Sutherland’s ability that he still made me feel for a character I’m almost completely sure is going to be perfectly fine.

So what’d you think of this episode? Weren’t Ethan and President Taylor a little TOO touchy-feely after his resignation? (OMG did those two totally hook up one time, and is Olivia Ethan’s daughter?! Ok, I’ll stop talking like that now.) Should Carl name his twins “Jack” and “Tony” as a tribute? What's going to happen to the kidnapped Tony? Finally, is there any chance at all Jack will suffer serious consequences from his radioactive exposure?

Desperate Housewives: A Shocking Conclusion

Not bad, “Desperate Housewives” writers, not bad.

The fact is Edie’s impending death on this show was one of the worst-kept secrets on TV this year. Fortunately, the show’s writers and producers seemed perfectly aware of this and concocted a couple of amusing fake outs to mess with the audience.

Before I get to that, I want to talk about the rest the episode, which featured (as usual) a couple of husbands acting like idiots and Susan (for an unprecedented third week in a row) behaving like a mature adult.

Susan’s first ex-husband Karl was back in the picture because Karl’s son Evan was a new student in Susan’s class. Although Karl is a major a-hole, I enjoy the character because he’s the most interesting guy Susan has ever been with BY FAR. (Even in their hostility, the two actors have good chemistry.) However, the problem this week was Evan, an apparent serial-killer-in-training prone to drawing violent pictures in class.

Turns out the kid was just depressed about his mom (Karl’s wife) leaving him. Instead of doing her best Nelson the Bully (Ha-Ha!) Susan empathized with Karl because she knew what it was like to be dumped by your spouse. I know the two were holding hands at the end of the episode, but I don’t really think anything will come of it. These two are MUCH better as exes. (I’d rather see Susan with her female boss from school.)

Lynette was having a hard time easing back into the workforce, mostly due to Lucy, Carlos’ new right hand woman/she-beast. Lucy had a weird affection for glass figurines and was making everyone, including her boss Carlos, work late which was putting a crimp in his sex life with Gabby, which was in an unprecedented two-week draught.

While Lucy was undoubtedly horrible, I can’t say it’s 100 percent her fault. I totally get that Carlos is incredibly worn out from working so much, but when your wife pulls out the good lingerie, you have to (to use the technical term) man up and hit that. Nevertheless, Carlos eventually realized Lucy was an awful person after Lucy chewed out Carlos and Gabby’s daughters — whom she (racistly) thought were related to the cleaning lady — for playing with the figurines. Lynette (who’d organized the play date) stopped in at the end to rub a little salt on the wounds (Lucy doesn’t know that you don’t mess with Lynette).

Mostly, I was happy to see Gabby and Carlos acknowledge that they were reverting back to their overworked, unhappy selves (my main fear with Carlos going back to work) and do something positive about it.

On the other hand, I just can’t come up with anything positive regarding this storyline with Orson. Last night he revealed to Bree that his reason for stealing was to hurt her. I also finally came around to the idea that his stealing is the perfect mix of embarrassing and unnecessary to do the trick.

However, the problem is that, unless the writers’ goal is to get us to hate Orson, the storyline isn’t doing anyone any favors. Who would’ve thought a few years ago that Andrew of all people would be the voice of reason? He was the one who talked his mother out of selling her company for Orson’s sake because if he really loves her, why would he want her to stop doing something she loves?

Most importantly, the problem is that Orson is a big whiner. Maybe he should’ve thought about having a good job and being well-respected BEFORE he ran someone over with his car. I realize Andrew ran Carlos’ mom over with his car in the first season, and he certainly acted out in a bad way, but that character eventually paid his dues and came out the other side the better for it. Orson not only wants people to hand him things (a good job, respect) but he feels like he has to demean his wife to do it.

I kinda wish Edie HAD run him over with her car as he got chased out of a house by a feisty old lady, instead of swerving to avoid him and crashing her car.

This week finally featured the much-discussed camping trip. (Honestly, that thing was first mentioned like two months ago — and staying in a nice cabin does NOT count as “camping.”) In fact, we got to see how Dave’s revenge plan against Mike would play out in detail at the start of the episode, culminating with Dave shooting Katherine while she was on a hike with Mike, blaming those phantom hunters in the woods. The most satisfying moment for Dave appeared to be driving back into town with Mike as he cried over Katherine’s death, but the fact that James Denton can’t really convey any emotion made this scene a little funny.

Of course, when it was time to execute the plan, Dave was thwarted by a text from Edie (whenever I’m about to murder someone, I have the good sense to put my phone on silent)— she knew everything after receiving the fax about Mike killing Dave’s family in that car crash.

Dave came home and was confronted by Edie, and Nicolette Sheridan got to do a little acting (but not too much because her face IS frozen in time). Dave nearly choked her out (near death experience #1) causing Edie to run out of the house and crash her car after swerving to avoid hitting Orson (near death experience #2). Unfortunately, she’d hit a power line and was electrocuted when she stepped out of the car (strike three!)

I know the promos want us to think Edie is alive, but I’m not buying it at all. Though she was never a “main” housewife and had been relegated to the background in recent seasons, I’ll miss the edge she brought to the show. Hopefully her death will kick start some interesting stuff for Dave (who I’m finding more tedious every week) and the rest of the women.

So what’d you think of this episode? Does anyone else awkwardly keep a fax machine in their kitchen? (I sure don’t!) Can we get more scenes of Tom as a “Desperate Housewife” please? Finally, what was your all-time favorite Edie moment? (Mine was her first scene in the pilot episode — it pretty much tells you everything you’d ever need to know about Edie and it’s one of the best TV character introductions in the last 10 years. Seriously.)

Hell's Kitchen: You Had a Bad J

After a (relatively) competent dinner service last week, the Gordon Ramsay we know and (are afraid to admit) love came back with a vengeance last night slamming a door so hard on TWO separate occasions that the camera (or was it the world?) shook!

But before we get to that, let’s talk about the rest of the episode, which featured the chefs getting acquainted with tapas — smaller, appetizer-sized portions of meals. The contestants were also told they’d be serving tapas-style plates in dinner service only to have the tapas theme be completely ignored during said service.

Of course, there was plenty of drama within the teams, most of it featuring the usual suspects — Andrea, Carol and Lacey.

The continuation of this “Hell’s Kitchen” recap found Carol positively shocked that her nemesis Andrea had not put her up for elimination. Andrea explained her decision by saying that she did simply did not believe Carol was one of the weaker people in the dinner service and refused to nominate her based on personal reasons. Carol mostly seemed confused by the concept of NOT basing important decisions entirely on personal feelings. Still, Carol was right about one thing — the remaining four women seemed to be split evenly between Team Andrea/Paula and Team CaroLA.

That didn’t last for long because Chef Ramsay moved Giovanni from the blue team to the red team. At first, I was puzzled as to why this was such a major loss for the blue team because I figured Ramsay just picked Giovanni to join the women because he had the girliest hair. Not-Bobby pointed out that Ramsay had given the blue team the worst person from the red team, while taking the best person from the blue team and placing them on the red team. Then again, Not-Bobby also insists on saying Lacey is fat (dude, mirror!) so I wouldn’t say he has the soundest judgment. I mostly remembered Giovanni as the steakhouse guy who couldn’t cook steak and as the Italian chef who didn’t know what polenta was.

It just goes to show how, um, cleverly edited this show is that Giovanni’s cooking skills have mostly been hidden, despite the fact that he’s apparently an amazing chef. Still, I like to think his “let’s squash this beef” attitude was just as important in (temporarily) bridging the divisiveness on the red team.

Then again, his cooking literally won the challenge for the red team. The chefs had to prepare five tapas from leftovers. After Lacey whined, and J presented a dish that Ramsay hilariously remarked was a bit “phallic”, it came down to a showdown between Ben and Giovanni (OF COURSE, it came down to the last dish). Though Ramsay was very impressed by both, he awarded Giovanni and the red team the victory and trip to the racetrack.

Now I know I’ve made lots of cracks about how every single challenge is made to look like it’s incredibly close, but how the heck did the show manage to make the race between Andrea’s horse (Victory’s Lady) and Ramsay’s (Stress Free) come down to the wire? Did they film the race first, and THEN have Andrea and Ramsay place their bets for the first and second place horses? What are the odds that two horses with such appropriate names would even be competing in the same race? Most importantly, is this all just really a coincidence and is every challenge really THAT close and I just really need to let this go?

Back at HK, the blue team had to prep both kitchens as punishment. In a shocking turn of events (not really), Lacey is a lot less chipper when her team doesn’t win, and soon walked away from her team again. This led to an almost shot-by-shot remake of Ben’s speech from a couple of weeks ago about how the team needs Lacey (kudos to the editors for using that footage). My feeling is do they REALLY need her? I know that Lacey’s actually been decent in recent dinner services, but being down 5 to 4 wouldn’t be impossible for the men. Unfortunately, they were about to be forced to work one man down.

The red team had some issues near the start with LA spacing out, and Carol undercooking some pasta before bizarrely blaming Andrea for not sharing in the blame. But they mostly kicked ass last night with Giovanni’s steady presence and Paula’s apparently outstanding Beef Wellington.

The blue team, on the other hand, was a disaster from the start. J had horribly botched the rice for the risotto, setting the appetizer station back 30 minutes right away. We knew it was going to be a terrible night for J because earlier in the episode, he’d referred to himself in the third person, and my unscientific poll has shown that when he does this, he’s just terrible.

Soon, he was overcooking scallops, and drawing the ire of Ramsay who called him a bozo, chewed him out in public and eventually kicked him out of “Hell’s Kitchen”. (Don’t you just love when Ramsay gets SO mad that his voice cracks?) So that was the end of J, who claimed he was at HK for his family (most of whom are undoubtedly ashamed of him).

Ramsay wasn’t done, turning his venom to Ben. I’ve always considered Ben one of the strongest men on the blue team, but he’s just never, EVER delivered during the dinner service (and none of his dishes have won head-to-head challenges). I’m just not sure anymore why I thought he was any good. Ramsay chewed him out in private as well, but what was even scarier was the way, he’d get close to Ben and whisper “I want you out” in his ear (shiver). Maybe the reason I can’t completely bash Ben is because (like Andrea) he owns his mistakes and failures and that buys people a lot of currency with me, as opposed to when they act like deluded fools.

The blue team lost and, after a deliberation that included the funniest declaration of the season (Not-Bobby will become a crack whore if Lacey wins), nominated Lacey for elimination.

Ramsay wasn’t about to let Ben off the hook and asked him to step forward. He soon tested him by asking him who the worst chef was that evening, and Ben passed by admitting he was the worst. Then, in a not surprising-at-all move, Ramsay eliminated no one because the blue team had already lost J. And because having Lacey out of our lives already would’ve been WAY too much to ask.

So what’d you think of this episode? Am I the only one who thinks Beef Wellington looks disgusting? Did anyone bother to tell Carol they actually won easily last night? (The way she kept harping on Andrea about the pasta thing made her seem like an insane person.) Finally, does anybody actually want to see Lacey win, only to see Not-Bobby as a crack whore?

America's Next Top Recap: Bus-iness as Usual

Is the “America’s Next Top Model” universe the only place where calling someone “pretty” is an insult?

I think so, as another contestant was slapped with the dreaded “pretty girl, not a model” tag and was sent home for the second straight week.

The episode picked up with a couple of the models dealing with the fallout from last week’s judging panel. Tahlia’s confidence was in shambles and Truth or Dare specialist Nijah seemed puzzled that the judges had criticized her for a lack of personality. On the flip side, Natalie was so confident after her positive reviews that she didn’t seem to mind that Teyona was actually the person who’d been given “best picture” honors.

We learned that Natalie has already had plenty of modeling experience, which begs the following question: what the hell is she doing on THIS show? Aren’t “ANTM” winners notorious for never being seen again after their Cover Girl commercials stop airing (unless they marry a Brady, of course)? Natalie may have been better off trying to become a model on her own.

That point was sorta reinforced when Cycle 9’s Chantal and Bianca dropped by Ms. J’s “Charm School” for runway walkers. (Bianca, in particular, seems to be doing great for herself judging from that “Top Models in Action” segment later in the episode). Natalie exuded an incredible amount of (appropriate) cockiness and badass-itude in her walk, while Tahlia and Nijah faltered. Allison also struggled because she was over thinking her walk, leading Ms. J to put books on her head for her posture.

Back at the house, the girls played a game of truth of dare. Noses were licked, and Tahlia was called out by Natalie for having the worst photo last week. Like many people, I feel for Tahlia and I’ve been rooting pretty hard for her to get her act together, but her photo WAS bad, and Natalie was simply adhering to the ironclad rules of truth or dare. Tahlia needs to stop being a wuss and start being FIERCE.

The week’s challenge involved a Jill Stuart fashion show, and the contestants using everything they’d learned about catwalk etiquette. The results were perfectly predictable — Nijah, Tahlia, Allison struggled; Celia and Natalie thrived — except that I would’ve given Celia the win because Natalie’s twirl in the middle of her walk was hella dumb.

With Natalie’s head about to pop from getting so big, and Tahlia being so down on herself that I actually thought she might quit, the models headed to their photo shoot. This week, they had to work in pairs of 2 (and in one case 3) to act out different sections of New York City while posing on top of a bus.

Of course, the reversal the show set up came to pass when Tahlia outshone Natalia (and Teyona) in their tourist picture. I actually didn’t think Natalie came off quite as fake as the judges told her she did, but I was happy to see her get smacked down to Earth a bit.

My favorite picture of the bunch was Fo and Aminat's, simply for the fact that they were equally strong and conveyed their businesswomen characters clearly. By contrast, I still have no idea who the artist and the muse was in Nijah and Kortnie’s photo, while Sandra slightly outshone Celia in their photo and London was stronger than Allison.

Sandra was named the winner after taking a week off from being a horrible human being (or maybe the editors just took a week off from showing us her beastly side), and the bottom two came down to Allison and Nijah.

Let’s take a close look at this one. Would the judges get rid of the quirky girl who’d taken two VERY good photos up to that point, or would they get ride of the “pretty girl” who had also taken a bad picture last week. Needless to say this was one of the least suspenseful decisions ever.

Nijah’s gone, but she gets kudos for taking her ouster with grace and maturity. (That really just means she didn’t cry or say anything stupid on her way out of the house — which is a real accomplishment on this show.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Is it bad that, when the light hits him right, Ms. J looks more like a women to me than fellow “Charm School” hostesses Mo’nique and Sharon Osbourne? With Nijah gone, which of the remaining models can do the best Carlton dance? (My money’s on London.) Finally, with a few weeks under our belt, who do you like to win the whole thing? (I’m still feeling good about my Ridiculously Early Pick of Celia.)

Lost: Not Following Doctor's Orders

“Namaste” was all about getting our bearings.

Sure, the episode was mostly about our slightly dazed (but not because of the drugs for that sub ride) and confused characters finding their bearings in their new settings (whether it was 1977 or 2007). It was also about us in the audience getting a chance to wade back into the pool slowly after a week off from the show that often leaves us channeling Hurley. (Uh...what?)

I usually think of “transitional episodes” as a necessary evil, but “Namaste” was filled with enough fun little moments and a surprisingly high amount of humor to keep us from feeling like we were spinning our wheels.

Let’s knock the ’07 stuff out of the way first because, frankly, there are a currently a LOT more people I care about in ’77. (1977 also has the added benefit of NOT featuring Cesar and Illana. I know it’s VERY early, but these two are still screaming Nikki and Paolo 2.0, and their only purpose seems to be that they were probably leading the outrigger that shot at Sawyer, Juliet and Co. in the ocean while they were travelling through time some episodes ago.)

That being said, I really liked the first and last 2007 sequences. I thought the plane crash was very well done (I liked the brief moment of tranquility after the turbulence that took Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sayid away). And Frank Lapidus (it’s still kinda weird seeing Jeff Fahey clean-shaven) reinforced the notion that he’s an awesome pilot, landing the plane in one piece after overshooting a runway on Hydra Island (probably the one Kate and Sawyer were working on as part of that chain gang when they were held captive by the Others).

After that, I mostly waited for the episode to go back to the Dharma days. Even the typically-excellent Michael Emerson came off as too cartoonishly bad in this episode. It was ok when Lapidus asked what was happening and Ben sarcastically/evil-ly responded “How would I know?” to cap the opening sequence, but having him coolly/evil-ly ask Sun “Wanna come?” when he announced plans to go to the main Island was too much. It felt like each line should have been followed by a rimshot (“Lost” version of a rimshot is that muted trombone noise right before the show goes to commercial.)

At least now we know why he was knocked out cold when Locke finds him. Sun may have become the first person in the history of ever to get the jump on Ben. She knocked him out with an outrigger paddle in the middle of a speech about getting back to his people, so Sun and Lapidus (who’d followed Sun into the jungle after she’d followed Ben) headed to the mainland.

They docked near the Others’ barracks and took part in one of the show’s spookiest sequences ever. I’m not even talking about the Smoke Monster apparently scanning them and deciding they didn’t deserve to be eaten (or have an arm ripped off). I’m talking about the entire sequence with Christian “I Never Use My Last Name When I Introduce Myself” Shephard slowly emerging from one of the lit houses and inviting Sun and Lapidus to follow him (that’d be a big “no thanks” for me). Inside he revealed a “Shining-esque” picture of Sun’s recent plane mates in 1977 and gave the understatement of the (21st) century by telling them “You have a bit of a journey ahead of you.”

What was most interesting to me in this scene wasn’t the revelation from the picture (we could see that coming as soon as Christian started scanning for photos), it was the idea that Sun (and Lapidus?) must apparently travel back in time to meet up with the rest of the crew. I can’t be the only one who was under the impression that the people from the Dharma days would have to be the ones to find a way to get back to the future (especially before that nasty purge).

Speaking of the nasty purge, leave it to Hurley (who is really the one character that speaks for the audience) to bring up the elephant in the room. I hadn’t realized how little Jorge Garcia has been given to do since “The Lie”, but it was good to have him back and pointing out how awesome Jin’s Korean was.

After he got over his initial shock (and awkwardly hugged Kate) Sawyer dropped the bomb on his friends that it was actually 1977 (loved Jack’s “of course it is” reaction) and got the idea to pass off his friends as new Dharma recruits that had arrived from a sub. He’d have to do it without Jin’s help, who bolted for the Flame (the telecom station) when he heard Sun was on the plane.

It was in the Flame that we met Radzinsky. If you recall, Radzinsky was Kelvin Inman’s original Hatch buddy in the Swan before Desmond arrived on the Island. That hatch got a bit of a shout out as Radzinsky was working on a model of the Swan as Jin came barging in asking if a plan had landed on the Island. Mostly though, Radzinsky seemed like an annoying, know-it-all irritable jerk, so I was a little disappointed in the character. (Then again, given that the character’s previous appearance was a splatter of blood on the ceiling, I don’t know what I was expecting.)

Maybe I was just annoyed because he was so eager to kill Sayid, who’d been wandering around in the jungle. Sawyer/LaFleur forced him to identify himself as an Other to save his life, but now Sayid is in lockup and being brought sandwiches by an old frenemy. Seriously, how great is it that young Ben of all people is the one bringing food to a captive Sayid? (If little Ben ever pummels Sayid with his fists, then I’ll really be freaking out!) Last we saw, Sayid was advising anyone who’d listen to do the opposite of what Ben says — so I guess he’ll be having ketchup with his sandwiches instead of mustard. (Also, what’s with this show and bringing sandwiches to captors? Whatever happened to gruel?)

Jack, Kate and Hurley are having a much easier time fitting into 1977 (despite that one particularly suspicious Dharma guy that was eyeballing Jack). I liked Jack’s tense meeting with a distracted Dr. Chang and his assignment as a workman/janitor (was this somehow Sawyer’s doing?) I also liked the scary moment when Kate wasn’t on the list before Juliet swooped in for the save. Did Juliet leave Kate’s name off before having a change of heart?

We don’t know because the players in this love square (and this episode) did a spectacular job of putting off the “big talks” they must have with each other. Instead, we got lovely, mostly wordless scenes (Juliet helping Sawyer gather clothes after learning Jack and Co. were back, Jack finding Juliet in Sawyer’s house, Sawyer staring at Kate on her porch) conveying what they couldn’t talk about yet, because they had to make sure the new arrivals’ cover was established first.

We DID get a great scene near the end when Jack came by Jim (not James) LaFleur’s house to game plan. Jack busted his chops about reading a book and drinking beer, while Sawyer responded with a pointed dig about Jack’s past failure as a leader. To his credit, Jack didn’t become indignant like he did in the past and seemed to take things in stride, while Sawyer seemed more concerned with re-establishing that he’s the man now (dog!)

This got me thinking (a rare occurrence). All this time, we’ve assumed Kate’s arrival on the Island would be the thing to shatter Sawyer’s perfect life on the Island. But what if it’s Jack’s return that really does him in? The Sawyer in “LaFleur” was a take-charge kind of guy, but seemed sweet and supportive. Now that Jack’s back on the Island, will Sawyer start acting (and drinking) like he’s got something to prove and revert back to his old wiseass, nickname-spouting (“Kong”, “Quickdraw”) self? What if THAT is what proves to be his ultimate undoing?

So what’d you think of this episode? Where the hell is Faraday? (Sawyer said he’s “not here anymore”, but knowing his smartass tendencies, I take that to mean that Faraday lost [*boom* “Lost”!] his mind, not that he actually went somewhere.) Why did Sun and some of the other ’07-Ups not travel back to 1977 (other than to mess with Jin)? (I can understand Ben not being back there, since 1977 already has a Ben Linus, and I can understand Locke not making the trip since he has to be in the same time period as Ben so Ben can mess with him.)

Also, are we really supposed to believe Sawyer has a sweatshirt that fits Hurley well? Is Sayid destined to really become an Other? (I don’t see any way Sawyer can get him out any other way) Finally, was there a point to Ethan being revealed as Amy and Horace’s baby (other than to creep Juliet out) and are we really supposed to believe Ethan was 26 or 27 in 2004?