Hell's Kitchen: The Furious Five

And here I was slightly worried the next few episodes would be boring.

I thought that after last week’s double elimination, most of the season’s (incompetent) fat had been trimmed, and that the show’s remaining, relatively-competent chefs wouldn’t be great sources of drama leading up to the finale.

It’s both sad and oddly-comforting to be wrong.

Four out of the five finalists stunk up the dinner service to varying degrees. On top of that, the one person Chef Ramsay did NOT berate last night was Dave (pictured, left), who spent 92% of his screen time acting like a complete dick. (This blog is rated PG-13, in case you didn’t know.) Fun times all around.

In case you’re new to the party, the reason Dave was in such a foul mood was because Tennille changed her mind about nominating Ariel for elimination last week. Dave wanted to nominate Ariel because she was a stronger competitor - not because he actually believed she deserved to be eliminated - and had gotten a reluctant Tennille to agree. In the end, Tennille just couldn’t go through with nominating an undeserving chef for elimination, much to Dave’s chagrin.

In my last recap, I mentioned that I’d considerably soured on Dave, which is a shame because he’s been nothing but a rock star for coking with one good hand. I’m not mad at him because of his shadiness. (It’s a reality show, and he’s using strategery – I get it.) I’m mad at him because he’s acting like an ass simply because someone Tennille to go along with his shady plan (and for not seeing the irony of the situation).

Anyway, once you removed his repeated personal insults at Tennille and his constant complaints about having to be around her (in the kitchen, in the dorms, during their punishment) – not that much actually happened, I suppose.

The week’s challenge had staff from Bon Appetit magazine judging a presentation challenge. The five remaining contestants would prepare a meal, and the top two would be selected based on how the dish was presented. From those two, a winner would be picked based on taste. I like to think that an eye-pleasing and creative presentation can add a lot to a dining experience, so I was interested in seeing this challenge play out.

Since Dave has had more than one icky-looking dish (remember that low-calorie dessert?), I knew he’d be out of the running (he also had trouble actually naming what was on his plate). Meanwhile, Tennille’s fish fell apart right before she was set to plate. Finally, Suzanne is just simply not very good, so I didn’t expect her to make the cut.

That left my long-ago-predetermined finalists Kevin and Ariel as the top two. Their dishes were so close in fact that Ramsay and Bon Appetit editor-in-chief Barbara Fairchild didn’t name a winner, and granted them both the reward, a photo shoot for the two contestants AND for their dishes.

As if last week’s farm punishment wasn’t humiliating enough, the remaining trio was forced to don orange jumpsuits (“I’m not a convict – I’m a chef!” – Tennille) and pick up garbage in a stretch of road "Hell's Kitchen" adopted.

Back at the house, Kevin started playing his own mind games, as he gently suggested that Dave might want to drop out of the competition before he does any long-term damage to his wrist. (That Kevin is such a caring guy.)

Unfortunately, the ill-will and mistrust carried over into the dinner service. From the editing it seemed like most of the contestants were uncommunicative and low-energy toward each other and the task at hand. (It seems Ramsay’s “Yes We Can” chant at the beginning didn’t help.)

It took Tennille about 15 tries before Ramsay realized the reason she kept botching her risotto was because Kevin had overcooked the rice during prep. Maybe Kevin forgot that he overcooked the rice and screwed the kitchen for a while because he was pretty critical of his female teammates later on in the dinner service. (Not the first time we’ve gotten more than a hint of sexism from him.)

Later, Ariel brought some undercooked chicken and gnarly lamb up to the pass. Not to be outdone, Suzanne delivered undercooked fish. (“Hell’s Kitchen” – now nearly poisoning customers for six seasons!) Is it just me or does Ramsay look even more exasperated than usual this season? After walking out of the kitchen last week, he actually seemed ready to cry at one point. Don’t get me wrong, he was still angry, but he also looked defeated.

That being said, the contestants completed their service. That didn’t stop Ramsay from calling it a disaster and asking for two nominees for elimination. Tennille dodged a bullet (Matrix-style!), and Ariel and Suzanne were sent to the chopping block.

Besides this being her fourth time up for elimination (four strikes, you’re out!) it was Suzanne’s time to go simply because she remained as delusional and as me-centric as ever. She’s the one remaining finalist who never took responsibility for her shortcomings. I wish I could say I’ll miss her, but I really won’t. Still, I kind of enjoyed the shot of her sneakily peering around a doorway during her exit package. I also thoroughly enjoyed the fact that I was watching her exit package because it meant she was gone.

So what’d you think of this episode? Can Ariel recover in time to make a push for the finals? Do you agree that Suzanne weirdly looks like former “Hell” inhabitant Matt/Sam the Eagle? (It’s the eyebrows!) Finally, who are you rooting for to make it to the final 3? (I think it’ll be Kevin, Ariel and Dave.)