Project Runway: Model Employers

I didn’t think it was TOO unreasonable to expect that professional models would mostly have a decent-to-good understanding of fashion and design.

Then I watched last night’s episode of “Project Runway.”

In case you missed it (and if so, why would you be reading a seventh-rate recap of an episode you haven’t seen yet), Heidi turned the tables on the designers by having them work for the models (of the runway), this week’s secret clients. (I guess no B-list actress was available to make an appearance this week). If the show REALLY wanted to turn the tables, they would have the models design outfits for the designers, who would then have to model them down the runway. (Would that be pointless? Yes. Would I watch that? YES!)

Anyway, I actually thought this was one of the more interesting episodes to watch for a variety of reasons. For example, the models are no longer the complete blank slates they were in previous seasons thanks to “Models of the Runway.” (We can all agree that Fatma is the villain, right?) Also, we’ve seen that some of the models have actually become attached to their designers – in no small part due to the fact that their fates in the competition are often intertwined – so watching the collaboration gave the episode a slight kick.

Most importantly, the episode – more than any other this season – taught us something about most of the designers in the competition. (And might’ve taught the designers something about themselves.) It taught us who was strong and confident in his or her abilities, and who may not be entirely ready to win the whole thing. (It also taught us who is snarkier than the average bear.)

As I mentioned earlier, the models mostly either had no idea what they wanted or didn’t know how to articulate it, so phrases like “royal blue and gold satin jumpsuit” and “punk cocktail tiger” started flying around. It seemed like the designers could either try to unequivocally please their clients (like Logan), or stand their ground and make an outfit they believe in (like Louise, who stopped Fatma from wearing a garish red, and Shirin, who wisely killed the jumpsuit idea).

Epperson, who got a healthy amount of screen time last night, also fell in the latter camp. He couldn’t find a satisfactory orange for his model, and instead decided to create a (too?) short, sexy dress that seemed to capture the spirit of what his model wanted. He also got a chance to have a teary conversation with his family. This exchange was touching, but (call me cold-blooded) I’ve never understood how otherwise reasonable adults become puddles of tears when they leave their family for a few weeks to compete on a reality show. I get it, I’d miss my family too, but I’d like to think I’d be able to keep it together – for a minute there, I really thought Epperson was going to quit.

I especially thought he might walk away given that this was his second tumultuous week in a row, following his uncomfortably-frosty partnership with Qristyl last week. Unfortunately, it turns out that Qristyl was the one who never really recovered from that debacle.

If you remember, Qristyl ended up being criticized for not being a strong leader and not standing up to Epperson’s constant critiques. This week, her confidence seemed TOTALLY shaken. She scrapped her first design after Tim Gunn said it reminded him of someone rolling around in bed. After that, she decided to enroll in the Mitchell School of Playing it Safe with a black dress. Hmm, I wonder where Mitchell ended up by “playing it safe?”

As a result, Qristyl was a lock for the bottom three, where she was joined by Logan (why would you experiment with something you’ve never worked with before – lace, in his case – on national TV?), and Johnny. Johnny’s purple dress got slammed for being bridesmaid-y. I thought it made his model look slightly chunky, while Heidi thought it made her look 10-15 year older, which we now know is like dog years in the modeling world.

Johnny lives to design another day because Qristyl was pretty much a lock to go home as soon as she deserved to play it safe during a challenge in which she was tasked to create a look that would stand out. There was also no way Logan was going home because guest judge Jennifer Rade CLEARLY wants to keep him and his silver pants around for a while longer. (“You’re cute, and I like your pants.”) The editors would probably like to keep him around a while longer, as long as they can get more shirtless footage to work into the episodes.

Speaking of guest judges, where the hell are Nina and Michael? I’m not just asking because I miss their patented brand of knowledge, wit and bitchiness, but because last night’s guest judges were particularly beastly. Marc Bouwer reminded me of a poor man’s Steve Cojocaru (it's probably the other way around), Zoe Glassner was generally blah, and Jennifer Rade may have been the meanest person ever to serve as a guest judge on this show (she SOUNDED as mean as Lindsay Lohan LOOKED). When Qristyl’s model Valerie tried to defend her designer by saying that she liked her dress, Rade responded with “I guess that’s why Valerie’s not a designer. (Pause) Right? (Even more devastating pause.) Thank God.”

Even more egregiously, I think Rade and Glassner singlehandedly swung last night’s winner.

The top 3 ended up being Epperson, Carol Hannah (pictured, left, with her model) and Althea. (I also really liked Nicolas and Louise's dresses. The latter showed that you CAN use black and make it interesting.) I thought Carol Hannah’s beautiful design was the clear winner. There were some interesting design elements going on, it was sophisticated and sexy. Althea’s three-piece outfit was impressive and ambitious, but I feel like the main reason it won was because Rade and Glassner (and Heidi to a lesser extent) picked the outfit they wanted for themselves, rather than the design that was objectively better. Credit should also go to the model for completely selling the outfit. Oh well.

So what’d you think of this episode? Who are you liking as this season’s bad guy? (The nominees include the increasingly-odd and off-putting Nicolas, who called Epperson’s dress a rag, and new contender Irina, who slammed Althea’s winning design six different ways and suggested she staple it together – shows what she knows.) Finally, do you like the new faces on the judging panel or do also you want Michael and Nina back? (The fact that Michael, Nina, and Heidi have only been together once this season is kind of terrible.)