American Idol: Didgeridoos and Don'ts

“American Idol” waited almost two whole years before revisiting the John Lennon-Paul McCartney songbook (we need new themes — stat!) and the results were…ok.

Sorry, but I’m still not doing backflips over this season. (What I’m doing more closely resemble lethargic, semi-competent cartwheels.) I’m so jaded that I convinced myself that they must’ve shown Paul McCartney footage from LAST season, which is why he was even able to muster up the faux-enthusiasm he did during his taped bit Tuesday night. (If they’d shown him footage from this season, he would’ve just walked away and ordered someone to hide his songbook.)

Still, I believe this episode was a little bit better than last week’s. And last week’s episode was a little bit better than the apocalypse before that. We’re trending in the right direction!

Things didn’t look encouraging when Human Ambien Aaron Kelly opened the night with a snooze-inducing take on “The Long and Winding Road.” Let me put it into terms Aaron (nicknamed Yoda by his fellow competitors) would understand: “Hopelessly bored, I was.” Oh well, at least he sounded really bad. (Oops.)

Honestly, the highlight of the whole thing was Simon’s epic eye-roll after he asked Aaron why he picked that song. I almost missed it because I was rolling my eyes at the exact same time.

After that, Katie Stevens won the Andrew Garcia Award, presented to the contestant who’s been so underwhelming, the judges trip over themselves to (over)praise them when they actually sing in tune. Ok, ok, so Katie deserves more credit for changing up the melody a bit and delivering her most assured and strongest vocal yet with “Let it Be.” (Which was definitely NOT country, Simon.) Mostly, I was happy that she decided to display human-like qualities on stage for a change.

As for Andrew Garcia himself, he took a gigantic step back. How corny was his cover of “Can’t Buy Me Love”? It seemed like a performance you would see on “Saved by the Bell” when the cast goes to a 50’s or 60’s-themed dance — except that Andrew was doing it in real life in 2010. (Ouch!) Fortunately for him, his performance was so resoundingly lame that no one called him out for sounding terrible.

Pouring on the corn syrup is one way to disguise iffy vocals. But you know what the absolute best way is? It’s bringing out a bagpipe player while you’re mostly butchering “Hey Jude” (Who knew?!)

Seriously, Lee DeWyze may be some kind of sneaky genius. I mean, who thinks having a bagpipe player descend down a perilous flight of stairs in the middle of a performance is a good idea? That’s kind of INSANE. That insanity, coupled with the personality he showed during his video packages this week gave me the indication that Lee DeWyze may actually be an interesting person. Maybe he can bring some of that personality on stage one week because if he’s going to revert to Semifinal Round-level flatness with his vocals, he’s going to need it.

Now what if I told you that the bagpipes were the second weirdest instrument featured on “Idol” last night? Crystal, ever the front-runner, saw Lee’s bagpipes and raised him a didgeridoo player (pictured, right) for her take on “Come Together.” Unfortunately, I wasn’t really feeling it. To me, Crystal seemed distracted and disconnected from her song for the first time in live performances. I also thought the didgeridoo was flat-out weird and didn’t add anything. This was the perfect chance for the judges to tear into her a bit (and defuse some front-runner backlash), but they blew it with their over-enthusiastic praise.

Speaking of being disconnected from a song, I actually thought Tim Urban did a decent job with his cover of “All My Loving.” He actually looked decently comfortable on stage, and the maniacal smiling was down 20 percent. (In fact, I’m thinking his fans may be lulled into a false sense of security.)

I also didn’t think Siobhan Magnus quite connected with her material the way she could have. I think she picked exactly the right (non-screamo) song in “Across the Universe” and sang it well. However, given that she’s one of my favorite contestants this year, I thought it should’ve been GREAT and it just wasn’t. Siobhan seemed a bit unsure of herself at times and the performance wasn’t dynamic enough. (Leading Randy to call it “sleepy.”)

After slowing things down last week, Michael Lynche came back with a decidedly un-sleepy take on “Eleanor Rigby.” Look, this guy is always going to be ham sandwich, but he’s a pretty good singer (giving us another solid vocal last night). More importantly, last night (for the first time) the drama was more in the re-arrangement and in his singing and less on his stage antics. Now, if only he’d stop challenging Simon to feats of strength.

Finally, there’s Casey James who FINALLY broke out of the 80’s karaoke bar ghetto and took a chance.

His slowed-down cover of “Jealous Guy” was compelling. His made a couple of mistakes with his vocal, but I’m actually willing to forgive that when a singer is reaching for some emotional depth. I was even paying attention to his guitar playing, which has been an afterthought the last few weeks thanks to his spastic electric guitar picking.

If he continues to take chances or finds a way to really rock out (instead of faux-rocking out) to the extent that you can on the “Idol” stage, he can be a contender. It would also help if he got a haircut that makes him look like a man.

So what’d you think of this episode? Which fringe competitor will step up to contender status next week? (Last week it was Lee, this week it was Casey.) Why on earth did they bring Earl on stage after his obnoxious booing? (You’re only encouraging him.) Finally, who do you think will go home? (I’ve got Andrew, Katie and Tim in the bottom 3, with Tim going home after his fans relax and assume he’s safe.)