The fact of the matter is that this season is seriously lacking in standout contestants.I THINK Raina is the best, but we’ve heard about 15 words from her in four episodes. The fact that you probably just thought to yourself, “Which one is Raina again?” just proves my point.
Since we can’t go back and re-cast, we’re stuck with this mediocre lot and the producers’ insistence on bludgeoning home their (annoying) personality straits and storylines. For example, did you guys know Anslee has a daughter back home?
Fortunately, the show also decided to ramp up the crazy switch to 100. (On a scale of 1 to 10.)
Ms. J – who really is better suited in this mentor role than he was as a judge because these girls need all the help they can get – administered a chemistry test. As hilarious as it would’ve been to watch these girls wrestle with the periodic table, the actual test had the models attempting to strike up a conversation with a shy, male model by the name of Nigel Barker. (Hey, he had hair once upon a time!)
The test was supposed to teach the girls how to quickly get comfortable and develop chemistry with someone they’ve never worked with before, but what it actually did was bring out their obnoxious, slutty sides. (To shocking, hilarious effect.)
The women had about three minutes to get Shy Nigel (“Speak up”) to come out of his shell during a tram ride. Angelea decided to “rawr” at him like a cat. Alexandra decided to go the weirdly self-conceited route (“There’s a beautiful woman standing next to you”) while Tatianna’s strategy was to insult him. In the episode’s biggest surprise, Anslee seemed like a pleasant human being and did the best.
Then there’s was Jessica, who acted like a drunk, deranged and desperate stripper. Seriously, after exaggeratedly winking at Nigel, she started taking her clothes off and almost forcing Nigel to do the same. I’m pretty sure she actually fondled him a bit too. (I bet Nigel’s wife loved watching this episode.)
No winner was declared, because the real winners were us, the viewers. The week’s actual challenge had the girls taking what they “learned” and applying it to a voyeuristic photo shoot with comedian Ross Matthews. Each girl got five frames each, and Nigel would be taking the photographs of “intimate” moments from across the street.
The women did considerably better here, except for Tatianna who appeared to get four horrible shots and one good one, awkward Alexandra and Angelea who put her leg on Ross’s shoulder and exposed her private parts to Nigel (and a good portion of NYC). I LOVED how Nigel begrudgingly took the picture anyway. (Imagine Tyra saying, “Let’s take a closer look.”)
Despite strong competition from Anslee, Jessica took home the reward (fabulous jewelry) and once again proved the point that the crazier you act on a reality show, the better you do.
This episode was light on household drama (there are only so many ways they can get Brenda to say that she hates her haircut or that Anslee misses her daughter), so we were off to the week’s photo shoot.
But first, there was a dramatization condemning the scourge of the fashion industry – knockoffs. (Huh?!) The fake scene had Ms. J trying to buy a knockoff on the side of the street and getting arrested by an undercover cop/photographer/DJ. Seriously.
The week’s photo shoot had the models dressed in fake clothes and makeup (aren’t you contributing to the problem guys), but I found it very confusing? Were the girls supposed to play up the fakeness or try to elevate it into genuine fashion?
After panel, (which featured Tyra wearing an unflattering oversized jumpsuit) I was still confused.
Jessica won best photo honors and (shockingly) zero scolding from Tyra for her incredibly inappropriate behavior earlier. I remember the more innocent days of cycle 7 when eventual winner CariDee got scolded by Nigel for making a joke about him taking the stick out of his ass. Apparently, CariDee should’ve gotten handsier and grabbed Nigel’s butt to see if she could remove the stick herself.
Jessica’s was the best fashion photo (up in the air), but my favorite was Angelea (pictured, right and doing best job of playing up the fakeness, which I thought would get her the win), Brenda (which the judges didn’t like for some reason) and Alasia (if she had looked up, she could’ve challenged Jessica for the win).
The worst of the bunch were Alexandra and Tatianna and they deservedly ended up in the bottom two. Though Alexandra’s picture was the worst of the bunch (she did NOTHING, and, as ALT said, the styling completely carried her), I’m not too mad about Tatianna’s departure. Tyra had expressed frustration that Tatianna’s film was consistently bad, but that she’d luck out with one good shot every week. Apparently, Tyra didn’t feel like waiting for her luck to run out. Also, I think Alexandra has more potential, if she can overcome that crisis of confidence every plus-size model seems to hit in this competition.
It seemed like Tatianna was more interested in being a coroner than a model anyway. So another non-descript person goes home, while the Four Horsewomen of Obnoxiousness (Anslee, Alasia, Angelea and Brenda) remain. Yay.
So what’d you think of this episode? Is counterfeit merchandise REALLY the biggest threat to the fashion industry? Who was that mysterious fourth person in the tram with Nigel, Ms. J and whatever model was creepily hitting on Nigel? Finally, are you surprised that Andre Leon Talley has a cane? (I’m surprised we haven’t seen it until now.)
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